Sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.

We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.

He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids

How often exactly does he reject you when YOU unambiguously initiate sex?

DP in a similar situation, and I never reject but am usually rejected. Makes me feel unwanted. It sucks.

Have you tried picking up more chores?

This, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow- my husband of 25 years thinks less than 3 times minimum per week is sexless. Still cheated too.

That is a lot for a long marriage.

My husband of over 25 years also thinks that we should have sex at least 3-4 times a week (every other day is more like it) and when we don’t - he’s a monster to live with. Irritable and annoyed until he gets it. I’m exhausted.

Give him some Zoloft

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the 2020s. Men are used to high frequency porn on their phone, computers, etc. this has destroyed their sex drive and libido for real intimate sex with spouses. They see all kinds of porn crazy scenarios, etc.. again it is the ‘20s. Even if you were to get a divorce and then, in a very unlikely scenario, meet someone else who wants to get married and checks all the other boxes that person ultimately would dwindle sex wise also.

You watch too much porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow- my husband of 25 years thinks less than 3 times minimum per week is sexless. Still cheated too.

That is a lot for a long marriage.

My husband of over 25 years also thinks that we should have sex at least 3-4 times a week (every other day is more like it) and when we don’t - he’s a monster to live with. Irritable and annoyed until he gets it. I’m exhausted.

Give him some Zoloft

My husband of 33 years never complains at just once a week. We both make it worth it and that seems to be the key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.

We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.

He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids

Are you even attracted to him? were you ever?
Are you a night person and he is a morning person?
Any trust issues?
How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.

We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.

He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids

My guess is that there are more relationship issues. Do you feel you love him, or is it just nice having duel incomes with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful and never initiate it. He never does either - tired, early meetings etc. I had a very high sex drive but with him I feel like 66 y old now

Op - I am you.
Is a bummer. The resentment is the killer

Resentment kills drive toward one person: the man you married.

It never comes back, for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.

Incorrect.

Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.

Incorrect.

Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”

LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.

Incorrect.

Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”

LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.

That’s… not awesome? I don’t understand how you can sleep in the same bed with someone and not happen to have sex for 10 years. I feel like no matter who was in bed with me, once in awhile I would get in the mood and start touching them. It just seems impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you enthusiastic about sex? I think my wife is attractive, but if she's not into it, I'd rather spend my time doing something else. And I'm happy to put some effort into making things fun for her; but only if that effort is well received.

If I try to flirt and she doesn't flirt back, I'm not going to be a pest about it.

And they say only women can be needy and whiny…

He sounds generous and considerate to me!

agreed. Whiny would be complaining his wife was a dud in bed or would never have sex with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.

Incorrect.

Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”

LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.

Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.

We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.

He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids

Was it always like this? If so, likely won’t change. If not, can probably be improved. Does he work out? Low T is quite common among men of this age, and working out can assist with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.

We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.

He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids

Why are you faking? That’s not good. You are creating the bad sex by faking. If you don’t feel pleasure, you redirect your husband until it feels good. He won’t mind learning.

[Anonymous]

My spouse was diagnosed with ASD I after our first kid. It was then that I fully understood why he was so seemingly inexperienced in bed and I lead things.

Needless to say I have to lead everything now in family life and the attraction to someone who is self centered and dysfunctional is totally gone.