Guests coming for 5 nights - do I need to feed them the whole time?

[Anonymous]

We are the invaders at my SILs every Christmas -- invited, but still. We're there for 6 nights. It's a lot.

The first night, SIL usually does pasta with pesto and sausages (she made a ton of pesto over the summer and froze it in dinner-size portions).

Second night, I buy all ingredients to cook a meal they will like (and they are PICKY).

Third night, take out. We split the bill.

Fourth night is Christmas Eve -- we have a huge party and everyone contributes something.

Fifth night, Christmas Day -- dinner at a siblings house. We bring cookies and appetizers.

Sixth and last night, we take them out for dinner to thank them for hosting us.

Doesn't always work out this way, but that's the usual pattern.

Breakfasts and lunches are entirely on the individual. DW and I don't really eat breakfast, and we're usually out at lunchtime so we take care of ourselves -- cheese and crackers and fruit.

I would never expect SIL to prepare 3 meals a day. That's just nuts. No one needs three meals a day, to begin with. And if she did, she'd never leave the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

[Anonymous]

You do not need to feed them for 5 days.

You've offered your home to them as a place to stay. That's very generous. You are not expected to be a chef for them, too. Having coffee available would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

This is totally different. No need to feed.

Offering one meal would be nice. After they arrive, I'd say something like this: "So glad to see you! I won't have the time/ability to cook for everyone, but you are free to use our kitchen as needed. The closest grocery store is _______." Offer coffee and some fruit in the morning. Beyond that, you should not feel obligated to purchase and cook for them.

[Anonymous]

I would share a meal schedule with everyone. Feel free to include sandwiches ! leftovers, lunch on own, etc. I would plan for dinners and hope people offer to cover at least one meal. If budget is a worry, pizza/salad one night and spaghetti and meatballs (Trader Joe’s has good ones) another night is fine.

[Anonymous]

Make vegetarian meals. There are tons of videos on YouTube for recipes. Grocery bills come out to be much cheaper with vegetarian options! If money is a constraint, avoid meat by all means. Inflation is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

if they are staying in your home they are your guests and yes you have to plan to feed them

also needed are snacks and drinks - soda , juice, coffee , tea ,

[Anonymous]

When we have overnight guests, I always make or order dinner.

-For breakfast and lunch I let them know that they can help themselves and always have fully stocked fridge/pantry. For breakfasts, will have cereal, fruit, yogurt, eggs, pastries, oatmeal available. Lunch-sandwich fixings, rotisserie chicken, salad ingredients.
-Dinners that have worked well for guests:
1) NYtimes ckn souvlaki recipe with side of hummus, pita, garlic sauce, and veggies.
2) Taco night-everyone can assemble their own so works well for picky eaters
3) Ina Garten Shrimp Scampi with garlic bread, big bowl of salad
4) Chili night
5) Order out one night usually indian or thai

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs that it's just dinner you need to plan. Just stock up on breakfast food and lunch options (sandwich fixings). Costco has sandwich trays, soup, croissants, chicken salad, just lots of options. I'd buy plenty of snacks and drinks. Lots of coffee.

I would never expect a host to feed me three home cooked meals a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guest I would expect to take you out once, help cook, etc. When my family comes they help buy groceries.

Also, not every meal needs to be a big to-do.

I would too, but OP can’t count on that (a very significant portion of people in the U.S. lack basic manners). She needs to have a plan for every meal, even if lunches are a big buffet of sandwich items to make their own sandwiches, with chips and fruit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Well, you have a mouth and working typing fingers, so you allowed it.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to cook and serve 3 meals a day, but you do have to have enough food on hand for them to fix their own breakfast and lunch on their own schedule, and you have to provide dinners (unless you communicate in advance and ask people to pitch in).

Just stock up on the basics (coffee, cereal and milk, toast, eggs, fruit for breakfast, sandwich stuff and chips for lunch) and if people want something more or different, they can go to the store. Lots of good suggestions for dinners already - I would do one spaghetti and meatballs night (add garlic bread and salad), a chili night, and a rotisserie chicken (buy these), baked potato, steamed veg night. Ice cream in the freezer for dessert.

[Anonymous]

In my house, breakfast and lunch are on your own. I provide plenty of options to grab when you are hungry. We also have a flock of chickens so eggs are always available, and if I am making them, I’ll ask if anyone wants some at the same time. Scrambling a dozen eggs is no more work than 2.

I would expect to cook dinners. I would probably do spag bol with salad and garlic bread, fried chicken, burgers, pot roast, salsa chicken, then a full goose or turkey dinner for Christmas, plus Boxing Day leftovers, then a fowl version of shepherd’s pie the day after that. The only meal that is significant work is Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breakfast and lunch can be cheap - cereal, toast, sandwiches. That means you only need 5 dinners:

- lasagna and salad
- ham, potatoes and green beans
- takeout kabobs
- chili and cornbread muffins (from the box)
- taco bar

Good ideas.

Buy bulk croissants, eggs, cereal, etc. from costco. Invite the guests to help themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Well, you have a mouth and working typing fingers, so you allowed it.

You could say, “I can’t manage to do the cooking/feeding. Would you mind picking up groceries when you get here and plan the meals?”

If the guest is imposing in this way, that’s a perfectly reasonable response.

You could also call or email them and say, “sorry, we won’t be able to host after all. Here’s a few airbnbs nearby that look good.”