Guests coming for 5 nights - do I need to feed them the whole time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I agree, I would not expect to be fed more than one meal on arrival, and perhaps one more. I would ask to do a grocery run or order Instacart to be delivered on the day of arrival. I would offer to order takeout for everyone a couple of nights and then at least one night out to dinner. And also cook one night. But it really depends on a lot of things - what has happened on prior visits, where are they traveling from (Memphis is different from Mumbai), cultural norms, whether kids are involved and what ages, what the purpose of travel (family get together vs in town for a medical procedure), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I agree, I would not expect to be fed more than one meal on arrival, and perhaps one more. I would ask to do a grocery run or order Instacart to be delivered on the day of arrival. I would offer to order takeout for everyone a couple of nights and then at least one night out to dinner. And also cook one night. But it really depends on a lot of things - what has happened on prior visits, where are they traveling from (Memphis is different from Mumbai), cultural norms, whether kids are involved and what ages, what the purpose of travel (family get together vs in town for a medical procedure), etc.

So your guests would just take over your kitchen and cook separate meals? Can they borrow spices? Oil? Napkins? I would never expect my guests to fend for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. As a guest I'd go out to lunch before eating canned soup.

perfect! goal achieved.

NP. I would give side-eye to any host who thought this was an acceptable lunch. Better to say you're on your own and proffer the takeout menus than offer canned soup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I agree, I would not expect to be fed more than one meal on arrival, and perhaps one more. I would ask to do a grocery run or order Instacart to be delivered on the day of arrival. I would offer to order takeout for everyone a couple of nights and then at least one night out to dinner. And also cook one night. But it really depends on a lot of things - what has happened on prior visits, where are they traveling from (Memphis is different from Mumbai), cultural norms, whether kids are involved and what ages, what the purpose of travel (family get together vs in town for a medical procedure), etc.

You sound like a thoughtful guest. None of my family guests ever try to take us out or pay for takeout. I thought it was commonly accepted etiquette (at least in the US) that if somebody hosts you in their home, you treat them to a meal out or multiple meals depending on length of stay. I know it's not "required" but it sure would be nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I would expect to go out and purchase some groceries for any breakfast/lunch at the host’s home. it’s really only my sister’s house where I expect to get fed and provided with snacks 😈

But would you try to cook in your host's kitchen? As a host, that would drive me nuts.

If you're not cooking a meal, it's weird not to allow someone else to do so. Are you one of those "kitchen is closed, don't get crumbs on my pristine countertops or leave fingerprints on my immaculate stainless steel appliances" people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I would expect to go out and purchase some groceries for any breakfast/lunch at the host’s home. it’s really only my sister’s house where I expect to get fed and provided with snacks 😈

But would you try to cook in your host's kitchen? As a host, that would drive me nuts.

Well yes, if the host wasn’t providing a meal. I would ask first though. Wouldn’t make anything extensive unless it was for everyone and host is on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. As a guest I'd go out to lunch before eating canned soup.

perfect! goal achieved.

NP. I would give side-eye to any host who thought this was an acceptable lunch. Better to say you're on your own and proffer the takeout menus than offer canned soup.

I mean there are 10 of them camping out in OP’s home for 5 nights. It’s not a full service restaurant! Would you actually expect a host to provide 3 cooked meals a day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I would expect to go out and purchase some groceries for any breakfast/lunch at the host’s home. it’s really only my sister’s house where I expect to get fed and provided with snacks 😈

But would you try to cook in your host's kitchen? As a host, that would drive me nuts.

If you're not cooking a meal, it's weird not to allow someone else to do so. Are you one of those "kitchen is closed, don't get crumbs on my pristine countertops or leave fingerprints on my immaculate stainless steel appliances" people?

Haha no I fill the fridge and plan every meal (with contingencies for picky eaters). I'm a martyr in the kitchen, partly bc my kitchen is small and I can't stand the mess. But there is always food and guests are welcome to order in or cook if they want (I would just cringe at the mess!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. As a guest I'd go out to lunch before eating canned soup.

perfect! goal achieved.

NP. I would give side-eye to any host who thought this was an acceptable lunch. Better to say you're on your own and proffer the takeout menus than offer canned soup.

I mean there are 10 of them camping out in OP’s home for 5 nights. It’s not a full service restaurant! Would you actually expect a host to provide 3 cooked meals a day?

No, I would expect them to say they're on their own for lunch, not offer food that appropriate for a sick person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. As a guest I'd go out to lunch before eating canned soup.

perfect! goal achieved.

NP. I would give side-eye to any host who thought this was an acceptable lunch. Better to say you're on your own and proffer the takeout menus than offer canned soup.

I mean there are 10 of them camping out in OP’s home for 5 nights. It’s not a full service restaurant! Would you actually expect a host to provide 3 cooked meals a day?

No, I would expect them to say they're on their own for lunch, not offer food that appropriate for a sick person.

DP. I wouldn't heat up a bunch of canned soups and call people to the table to eat it, but I think it's perfectly fine to have these on hand (along with other options like sandwich and salad ingredients, fruit, chips) as a DIY lunch option for people staying in your house for multiple days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guest I would expect to take you out once, help cook, etc. When my family comes they help buy groceries.

Also, not every meal needs to be a big to-do.

Right, beef fillet is expensive for a crowd.

Soups are good lunches for the winter. Sandwiches (ie cold cuts, tuna) and a piece of fruit work well, especially when everyone is on a different schedule. Are you and your spouse working when they are here? If so, they can prepare their own lunches.

Similarly, you can cook an active breakfast a few times (eg,eggs/omlettes/waffles/pancakes/ sausages) but other mornings put out things like cereal, bagels, muffins, yogurt and fruit. (With coffee, or instructions how to make coffee) of course.

Won’t they be out any days, sightseeing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not expect to be fed more than once or twice if someone let me stay at their home for five days. If anything I would be planning to take them out or order dinner. Also, a hearty soup with a baguette and some cheese is a meal.

Out of curiosity, what would you expect to do for all the other meals? Go out all the time, bring in groceries, or are you just saying that you don't expect the hosts to cook 3x meals a day but you'd still anticipate they have stuff available you can DIY?

DP. I agree, I would not expect to be fed more than one meal on arrival, and perhaps one more. I would ask to do a grocery run or order Instacart to be delivered on the day of arrival. I would offer to order takeout for everyone a couple of nights and then at least one night out to dinner. And also cook one night. But it really depends on a lot of things - what has happened on prior visits, where are they traveling from (Memphis is different from Mumbai), cultural norms, whether kids are involved and what ages, what the purpose of travel (family get together vs in town for a medical procedure), etc.

So your guests would just take over your kitchen and cook separate meals? Can they borrow spices? Oil? Napkins? I would never expect my guests to fend for themselves.

The question was, what do you expect as a guest, not what do you offer as a host. In this scenario, I’m the guest. Was that not obvious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

Canned soup?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. As a guest I'd go out to lunch before eating canned soup.

perfect! goal achieved.

NP. I would give side-eye to any host who thought this was an acceptable lunch. Better to say you're on your own and proffer the takeout menus than offer canned soup.

I mean there are 10 of them camping out in OP’s home for 5 nights. It’s not a full service restaurant! Would you actually expect a host to provide 3 cooked meals a day?

I thought it was 5 residents and 5 guests.

[Anonymous]

Soup is a meal especially before or after a holiday. Get muffins and croissants from Costco for breakfast. Make a pot of minestrone and serve that with leftovers for lunches.
If kids are involved I would honestly get a bag of chicken nuggets and tater tots, along with apple slices and baby carrots.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you need to feed them. It's nice if they take you out and/or offer to cook for some of the meals, but if they haven't communicated that ahead of time don't count on it happening. You'll just set yourself up to feel resentful or be left scrambling when it's the last day and there's no plan nor offer of help.

My advice is to make meals that have ingredient overlap to minimize having tons of leftover ingredients. Cuts down on waste and saves space in what usually becomes a very full fridge.

Example menu for dinners:

Day 1 - Italian - spaghetti, chicken parm, eggplant parm (or eggplant meatballs which are much better imo) + side salad
Day 2 - Chili - beef, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, bell peppers, onions (or whatever) + baked potatoes and cheese/sour cream/green onions. Easy to make a veggie portion on the side.
Day 3 - Ratatouille + side salad (same as Day 1). Can use eggplant of zucchini from night one, onions, tomatoes, carrots from salads etc.
Day 4 - Tacos - great place to use up whatever meats are left as a choose your own adventure protein, has an overlap with chili toppings, any extra veggies that weren't needed for tacos or ratatouille can be sautéed a fajita style

I'd recommend soups/sandwiches for lunches. That can be as simple or elaborate as your schedule and budget allow - deli meats + canned soups or 4 cheese grilled cheese + homemade tomato soups.