Guests coming for 5 nights - do I need to feed them the whole time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

NP. Then at the time that discussion occurs, I think it is totally appropriate for you to say "We'd love to have you stay with us but I'm going to have to ask everyone to either chip in for groceries or divide up the meals that people will pay for because we can't afford to feed everyone for 5 days."

If you are really concerned about cost, you could also raise the issue now, I guess. Tell everyone you are working on meal planning and are concerned about costs. Tell them you will have breakfast and lunch food on hand but were hoping you could rotate being responsible paying for dinners or have everyone chip in for those. But, be aware if you bring it up now some people might be annoyed, especially if they are paying airfare to come see you.

But I would not assume that anyone will offer to pay for anything. They should offer, but many people do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Following this thread, OP. I'm in the exact same situation with 4 self-invited guests for 7 nights. Trying to plan my menu, and it's really stressful because one is an adult picky eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to plan to feed three meals a day. Wtf?

Thanks, any suggestions?

Is your google broken? Just look it up. Why did you agree to host if you weren’t prepared to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Following this thread, OP. I'm in the exact same situation with 4 self-invited guests for 7 nights. Trying to plan my menu, and it's really stressful because one is an adult picky eater.

What prevents you from just saying “we won’t be hosting people this year- but there are hotels in the area”? Use your words!

[Anonymous]

Pizza one night. Costco has big trays of whatever that you can buy and serve. Do pasta and sausages one night. Chili one night (my parents used to serve it over rice, which is cheap and filling).

Breakfast and lunch are things you can just provide food supplies for and have people fend for themselves after day one. Make a crock pot of oatmeal. Or you can make a breakfast strata ahead of time and then pop that sucker in the oven one morning. Lunch is lunch meats, sliced cheese, cans of soup, nice ramen, canned tuna (easy to make), leftovers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Following this thread, OP. I'm in the exact same situation with 4 self-invited guests for 7 nights. Trying to plan my menu, and it's really stressful because one is an adult picky eater.

NP. Have Picky tell you specific meals they can eat.

[Anonymous]

Focus only on dinners & let them know they can help themselves to anything in the kitchen for the other meals. It'll make everyone happy not to have 3 formal meals every single day. This way people can take what they like & then get together in the evening around the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

NP. Then at the time that discussion occurs, I think it is totally appropriate for you to say "We'd love to have you stay with us but I'm going to have to ask everyone to either chip in for groceries or divide up the meals that people will pay for because we can't afford to feed everyone for 5 days."

If you are really concerned about cost, you could also raise the issue now, I guess. Tell everyone you are working on meal planning and are concerned about costs. Tell them you will have breakfast and lunch food on hand but were hoping you could rotate being responsible paying for dinners or have everyone chip in for those. But, be aware if you bring it up now some people might be annoyed, especially if they are paying airfare to come see you.

But I would not assume that anyone will offer to pay for anything. They should offer, but many people do not.

My parents have a beach house and all 5 of us kids and our families do a long weekend all together each summer. Everyone gets assigned a meal - ingredients, prep, cleanup. Takes the burden and the cost off of my parents and it’s fun to try everyone’s cooking! Why can’t OP pitch it like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is expected, OP, when a host invites you over. It can be very simple, affordable meals.
If they're polite guests, they should invite you out for at least one meal, or offer to cook a meal, or buy groceries. In other words, acknowledge your burden and offer to lighten it in a token way.

Next time do not invite that many for so long if you do not wish to pay for such an expense!

Because it’s my family and I won’t turn them away. If they stayed in a hotel, that wouldn’t really solve my problem since they’d still be there the whole time and I’d still have to feed them dinner.
To be fair, they weren't invited, but said they were coming for christmas.

Following this thread, OP. I'm in the exact same situation with 4 self-invited guests for 7 nights. Trying to plan my menu, and it's really stressful because one is an adult picky eater.

What prevents you from just saying “we won’t be hosting people this year- but there are hotels in the area”? Use your words!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus only on dinners & let them know they can help themselves to anything in the kitchen for the other meals. It'll make everyone happy not to have 3 formal meals every single day. This way people can take what they like & then get together in the evening around the table.

This is what I’m going to do. Sandwiches, soups, salads for lunch and they can help themselves. Breakfast for me is easy and no one will be up at the same time so they can fend for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Do you belong to Costco? 5 days, or which Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas brunch/dinner is included is really doable. I agree about croissants, cereal, fruit and yogurt to just put out for breakfast. Ask people how they take their coffee. Sandwiches and maybe soup (you choose 1 type, heat up 4 cans of the same type). Do you have any traditions for Christmas Eve and Christmas meals? The 3 other dinners can be pizza, take out Chinese, tacos, or whatever.
I don’t think you can get away with just lasagna for Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the main part, but it’s a special night. You can get frozen appetizers, saute green beans, buy a Costco dessert, Costco rolls, Costco sausage or meatballs, etc.
Can you ask guests to bring beer and/or wine?

[Anonymous]

I also recommend NOT buying everything ahead of time, in case people get really generous and end of chipping in. Also, while I do not have a Costco membership, I would probably get one just for this.

[Anonymous]

Will they have a car? That matters.
I will sometimes announce in advance that one night folks will be on their own for dinner. Pretend you have a meeting or something. Leave the house, take yourself and your spouse out, whatever.
For lunches and breakfasts, you can wait until folks arrive and then suggest the adults sit down and plan a grocery list and assign someone to go get the groceries. Maybe someone will offer to pay. Maybe not, and you should be prepared to se your cc, but you can hope.

[Anonymous]

Send the group an email ahead of time. “Looking forward to seeing you. Letting you know, there will be bread for toast, cereal and milk, coffee available for breakfast, sandwich fixings and chips for lunch, and we will make dinner Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Tuesday. The other 2 nights are up to you and your preferences.” Keep breakfast and lunch minimal and just focus on something cheap and easy the 2 nights that aren’t Christmas (chili and cornbread, lasagna or pizza, baked potato bar etc). Tell them UP FRONT they’re on their own for 2 dinners (a good guest will offer to take you out) and that if they want anything beyond what you’re providing for breakfast and lunch that’s on them too.

[Anonymous]

Take out kabobs for 10 people will be very pricey. Are there any children in this mix? Whatever you serve, it should be plentiful. Second all the Costco suggestions. A couple of pizzas one night, steam some broccoli and add a salad. Next night can be bean burritos- add cheese and sour cream to your canned refried beans, make a little guacamole and have onion and cilantro diced if anyone wants to add, serve with a big salad with romaine, red bell pepper strips, thinly cut radishes, sunflower or pepitas, and a bottled lime cilantro dressing.

Another night home made baked mac and cheese - should use at least 2 pounds of pasta, something like this https://www.recipetineats.com/baked-mac-and-cheese/, steam green beans and again salad. Next night grill costco Italian sausages and serve with sautéed peppers and onion on a french roll with a little jarred sauce and mozzarella. Bake several dozen chocolate chip cookies and offer them for dessert each night. Bisquick chicken pot pie is easy and cheaper than Costco’s - you can buy a bag of their already pulled rotisserie chicken to make.