3rd party fiduciary for Trust question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

OP here. Who the F are you? The Trust provides documentation that funds are to be used for the care of the beneficiaries. In fact this is actually standard. There's no is being greedy and taking money to spend freely with it. This has everything to do with supporting our kids. The one is separate from the other. My mom wanted to stick it to me because she hated that I stuck with my dad upon their divorce. That she left her money to my kids should suggest that it really was nothing but her own drama that prevented her from leaving money for private school to my kids outright. She was alienated from our entire family except this one cousin who she entrusted and whom has no real money and to whom my mom gave money to. She has no friends and at her funeral the only 4 people who showed up were the ones she gave money to! So we don't care that we aren't Trustees but we do need someone not court appointed.

All I'm asking for is help in how to go about finding fiduciary but inversely this forum PP do not know either. Got it!

I’m an attorney. The reason why you were alienated from your mother is not that relevant. She’s not here to give her version, so your view would be subjective and uncontroverted. No, you won’t be trusted and no, you won’t appoint a trustee. If the trust allows your cousin (whom you’re also not close with) to appoint a contingent trustee, your cousin or her attorney can ask you (or not) for your input.

This. Deal with reality and facts. Make it easy on yourself and your cousin. I have siblings who wasted thousands of their own dollars and then my parents' trust wasted thousands of dollars in response over this kind of thing. You're not in control and your mom made the decision and you need to live with it. Your attorney may not be steering you in the right direction and the stuff about the trust having mistakes in it may or may not matter. Tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The Trust as all trusts do for younger beneficiaries provides for any funds to be . Theyd in the trystapplicable before age of distribution to apply for them involving their health, care, education and safety. So, we can't go on vacation with the money but school or let's say medical or therapy expenses is 100% covered. This is binding and even though the trustee can reject the request, a third party would not. This is explicitly stated in th Trust but legally a Trystee can do whatever they want over funds.

If I do not find a Trustee, they will ask the court to appoint one. Much much better to work with someone who will not treat us like a number. It's also in our interest to work with someone who will be objective in carrying out the Trust.

It is standard to hire counsel since my cousin and I are not close and I do not have the legal knowledge to understand how Tryst works. Esp because it's a CA based Trust.


Did anyone read that our intention is NOT to litigate. I'm seeking help in finding out approach to find a Trustee. Can someone please share what may be a good way to do this please? Thank you everyone!!!

If you’re not litigating why do you keep talking about an opposing counsel?

I would recommend that you write to your cousin and tell her how much you appreciate all she’s done for your mother. Explain that you would like to work with her not against her. You understand why she wouldn’t want be trustee long term and you would like to sit down with her and discuss how you can agree on a successor.

OP can’t “agree” on anything bc the decision isn’t hers to make.

If she could only swallow her pride and be decent to her cousin they certainly could work together to find an agreeable successor. It’s the cousin’s decision based on the trust language, I think? But if the OP was willing to discuss issues in a civil manner I think the cousin would listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The Trust as all trusts do for younger beneficiaries provides for any funds to be . Theyd in the trystapplicable before age of distribution to apply for them involving their health, care, education and safety. So, we can't go on vacation with the money but school or let's say medical or therapy expenses is 100% covered. This is binding and even though the trustee can reject the request, a third party would not. This is explicitly stated in th Trust but legally a Trystee can do whatever they want over funds.

If I do not find a Trustee, they will ask the court to appoint one. Much much better to work with someone who will not treat us like a number. It's also in our interest to work with someone who will be objective in carrying out the Trust.

It is standard to hire counsel since my cousin and I are not close and I do not have the legal knowledge to understand how Tryst works. Esp because it's a CA based Trust.


Did anyone read that our intention is NOT to litigate. I'm seeking help in finding out approach to find a Trustee. Can someone please share what may be a good way to do this please? Thank you everyone!!!

If you’re not litigating why do you keep talking about an opposing counsel?

I would recommend that you write to your cousin and tell her how much you appreciate all she’s done for your mother. Explain that you would like to work with her not against her. You understand why she wouldn’t want be trustee long term and you would like to sit down with her and discuss how you can agree on a successor.

OP can’t “agree” on anything bc the decision isn’t hers to make.

If she could only swallow her pride and be decent to her cousin they certainly could work together to find an agreeable successor. It’s the cousin’s decision based on the trust language, I think? But if the OP was willing to discuss issues in a civil manner I think the cousin would listen.

She can’t. And from her posts, it’s clear she’s indignant instead of grateful.

If the kids are already in private, she had to have budgeted for that and she should continue to expect to pay this.

[Anonymous]

Seems like this situation will end with a court-appointed trustee. I hope the kids get something decent out of it when they are 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like this situation will end with a court-appointed trustee. I hope the kids get something decent out of it when they are 25.

With many trusts the terms permit the beneficiaries to replace the trustee subject to certain limitations so at 18 they will have some greater degree of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like this situation will end with a court-appointed trustee. I hope the kids get something decent out of it when they are 25.

With many trusts the terms permit the beneficiaries to replace the trustee subject to certain limitations so at 18 they will have some greater degree of control.

Great! Hopefully OP can start persuading her kids now, as she’s got plenty of time.