3rd party fiduciary for Trust question

[Anonymous]

OP here.

The Trust as all trusts do for younger beneficiaries provides for any funds to be . Theyd in the trystapplicable before age of distribution to apply for them involving their health, care, education and safety. So, we can't go on vacation with the money but school or let's say medical or therapy expenses is 100% covered. This is binding and even though the trustee can reject the request, a third party would not. This is explicitly stated in th Trust but legally a Trystee can do whatever they want over funds.

If I do not find a Trustee, they will ask the court to appoint one. Much much better to work with someone who will not treat us like a number. It's also in our interest to work with someone who will be objective in carrying out the Trust.

It is standard to hire counsel since my cousin and I are not close and I do not have the legal knowledge to understand how Tryst works. Esp because it's a CA based Trust.


Did anyone read that our intention is NOT to litigate. I'm seeking help in finding out approach to find a Trustee. Can someone please share what may be a good way to do this please? Thank you everyone!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like grandma wanted this money for the kids in their adulthood, not to pay for private school.

Too bad she picked someone who wants to quit. Is there no successor trustee named? What is the process laid out in the trust for picking a successor trustee?

I agree and that’s another reason you shouldn’t be trustee and a good reason that your cousin objects to your appointment. If you are paying for private school right now and you want to use their trust now that would mean you’re getting the benefits of the trust.

Getting the courts involved will cost you a lot of money. And your cousin’s attorney fees will be paid from the estate.

Your best bet is to work with your cousin amicably and appoint someone you both agree on.

She has no right to appoint a trustee or agree to the appointment of one. The cousin would violate her fiduciary duty by doing this. The trust should say what happens if cousin can’t or won’t serve. If it doesn’t, a judge will need to decide.

Actually the opposing counsel asked if there is a Trustee we wanted to work with so no you are wrong. The Trust is very poorly written with spelling mistakes. There is no provision for Trustee appointments at all. If we do not submit a one. a court appointed one is given or the cousin selects one. Cousin does not want to be the long term Trustee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like grandma wanted this money for the kids in their adulthood, not to pay for private school.

Too bad she picked someone who wants to quit. Is there no successor trustee named? What is the process laid out in the trust for picking a successor trustee?

I agree and that’s another reason you shouldn’t be trustee and a good reason that your cousin objects to your appointment. If you are paying for private school right now and you want to use their trust now that would mean you’re getting the benefits of the trust.

Getting the courts involved will cost you a lot of money. And your cousin’s attorney fees will be paid from the estate.

Your best bet is to work with your cousin amicably and appoint someone you both agree on.

She has no right to appoint a trustee or agree to the appointment of one. The cousin would violate her fiduciary duty by doing this. The trust should say what happens if cousin can’t or won’t serve. If it doesn’t, a judge will need to decide.

Actually the opposing counsel asked if there is a Trustee we wanted to work with so no you are wrong. The Trust is very poorly written with spelling mistakes. There is no provision for Trustee appointments at all. If we do not submit a one. a court appointed one is given or the cousin selects one. Cousin does not want to be the long term Trustee.

No, I’m not wrong. You do not have this right. They can solicit your thoughts but you have no rights.

[Anonymous]

If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

[Anonymous]

Can't just appoint a friend. Counsel for other side won't allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

OP here. Who the F are you? The Trust provides documentation that funds are to be used for the care of the beneficiaries. In fact this is actually standard. There's no is being greedy and taking money to spend freely with it. This has everything to do with supporting our kids. The one is separate from the other. My mom wanted to stick it to me because she hated that I stuck with my dad upon their divorce. That she left her money to my kids should suggest that it really was nothing but her own drama that prevented her from leaving money for private school to my kids outright. She was alienated from our entire family except this one cousin who she entrusted and whom has no real money and to whom my mom gave money to. She has no friends and at her funeral the only 4 people who showed up were the ones she gave money to! So we don't care that we aren't Trustees but we do need someone not court appointed.

All I'm asking for is help in how to go about finding fiduciary but inversely this forum PP do not know either. Got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't just appoint a friend. Counsel for other side won't allow.

I think one problem is not knowing the size of the trust. They won't tell you? A corporate trustee probably won't even take on the trust if it is only a few hundred thousand dollars.

OP I would suggest you post your a much more condened version of your question on bogleheads. One poster there in particular, Bruce Steiner, is a well-known trusts & estates attorney who could orobably provide some recs for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

OP here. Who the F are you? The Trust provides documentation that funds are to be used for the care of the beneficiaries. In fact this is actually standard. There's no is being greedy and taking money to spend freely with it. This has everything to do with supporting our kids. The one is separate from the other. My mom wanted to stick it to me because she hated that I stuck with my dad upon their divorce. That she left her money to my kids should suggest that it really was nothing but her own drama that prevented her from leaving money for private school to my kids outright. She was alienated from our entire family except this one cousin who she entrusted and whom has no real money and to whom my mom gave money to. She has no friends and at her funeral the only 4 people who showed up were the ones she gave money to! So we don't care that we aren't Trustees but we do need someone not court appointed.

All I'm asking for is help in how to go about finding fiduciary but inversely this forum PP do not know either. Got it!

I’m an attorney. The reason why you were alienated from your mother is not that relevant. She’s not here to give her version, so your view would be subjective and uncontroverted. No, you won’t be trusted and no, you won’t appoint a trustee. If the trust allows your cousin (whom you’re also not close with) to appoint a contingent trustee, your cousin or her attorney can ask you (or not) for your input.

[Anonymous]

Trustee = trustee ^^

[Anonymous]

What does your attorney say? I don't think it's ok to burn through the trust for private school. College and graduate school, yes, but you should pay for private school if you want it. I can see why your cousin will not do it as if they say no, you want to fight over it and its not their fight to take on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The Trust as all trusts do for younger beneficiaries provides for any funds to be . Theyd in the trystapplicable before age of distribution to apply for them involving their health, care, education and safety. So, we can't go on vacation with the money but school or let's say medical or therapy expenses is 100% covered. This is binding and even though the trustee can reject the request, a third party would not. This is explicitly stated in th Trust but legally a Trystee can do whatever they want over funds.

If I do not find a Trustee, they will ask the court to appoint one. Much much better to work with someone who will not treat us like a number. It's also in our interest to work with someone who will be objective in carrying out the Trust.

It is standard to hire counsel since my cousin and I are not close and I do not have the legal knowledge to understand how Tryst works. Esp because it's a CA based Trust.


Did anyone read that our intention is NOT to litigate. I'm seeking help in finding out approach to find a Trustee. Can someone please share what may be a good way to do this please? Thank you everyone!!!

If you’re not litigating why do you keep talking about an opposing counsel?

I would recommend that you write to your cousin and tell her how much you appreciate all she’s done for your mother. Explain that you would like to work with her not against her. You understand why she wouldn’t want be trustee long term and you would like to sit down with her and discuss how you can agree on a successor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The Trust as all trusts do for younger beneficiaries provides for any funds to be . Theyd in the trystapplicable before age of distribution to apply for them involving their health, care, education and safety. So, we can't go on vacation with the money but school or let's say medical or therapy expenses is 100% covered. This is binding and even though the trustee can reject the request, a third party would not. This is explicitly stated in th Trust but legally a Trystee can do whatever they want over funds.

If I do not find a Trustee, they will ask the court to appoint one. Much much better to work with someone who will not treat us like a number. It's also in our interest to work with someone who will be objective in carrying out the Trust.

It is standard to hire counsel since my cousin and I are not close and I do not have the legal knowledge to understand how Tryst works. Esp because it's a CA based Trust.


Did anyone read that our intention is NOT to litigate. I'm seeking help in finding out approach to find a Trustee. Can someone please share what may be a good way to do this please? Thank you everyone!!!

If you’re not litigating why do you keep talking about an opposing counsel?

I would recommend that you write to your cousin and tell her how much you appreciate all she’s done for your mother. Explain that you would like to work with her not against her. You understand why she wouldn’t want be trustee long term and you would like to sit down with her and discuss how you can agree on a successor.

OP can’t “agree” on anything bc the decision isn’t hers to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

OP here. Who the F are you? The Trust provides documentation that funds are to be used for the care of the beneficiaries. In fact this is actually standard. There's no is being greedy and taking money to spend freely with it. This has everything to do with supporting our kids. The one is separate from the other. My mom wanted to stick it to me because she hated that I stuck with my dad upon their divorce. That she left her money to my kids should suggest that it really was nothing but her own drama that prevented her from leaving money for private school to my kids outright. She was alienated from our entire family except this one cousin who she entrusted and whom has no real money and to whom my mom gave money to. She has no friends and at her funeral the only 4 people who showed up were the ones she gave money to! So we don't care that we aren't Trustees but we do need someone not court appointed.

All I'm asking for is help in how to go about finding fiduciary but inversely this forum PP do not know either. Got it!

Why can't you pay for private school if it's so important to you. My parents are nasty and will stick it to me but they will not leave me or my kid anything which is fine. We planned for it and saved for college. You cannot afford the lifestyle so you need to cut back and respect this money is for them long term and not for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd get a friend to do it then have the friend resign and get yourself appointed as trustee. It seems like the only reason you are having difficulty being appointed is this particular lawyer. Otherwise,you are not a beneficiary so there is no reason you or your husband couldn't be the trustee. When your friend resigns you can find more agreeable counsel to represent them.

Alternatively, having a bank as trustee isn't the worst thing in the world. Many charge about 1% per year fee and it might be worth some peace of mind that MILs surviving relatives cannot accuse you of misappropriation the trust assets.

Please disregard this person who is asking you to have a friend violate fiduciary duties. And there is another reason she shouldn’t be trustee. She was not named as one when she could have been. I don’t think any neutral person evaluating this case would have her be a trustee.

I hope her cousin reads these posts and ensures the kids’ money is kept safe for their real needs.

OP here. Who the F are you? The Trust provides documentation that funds are to be used for the care of the beneficiaries. In fact this is actually standard. There's no is being greedy and taking money to spend freely with it. This has everything to do with supporting our kids. The one is separate from the other. My mom wanted to stick it to me because she hated that I stuck with my dad upon their divorce. That she left her money to my kids should suggest that it really was nothing but her own drama that prevented her from leaving money for private school to my kids outright. She was alienated from our entire family except this one cousin who she entrusted and whom has no real money and to whom my mom gave money to. She has no friends and at her funeral the only 4 people who showed up were the ones she gave money to! So we don't care that we aren't Trustees but we do need someone not court appointed.

All I'm asking for is help in how to go about finding fiduciary but inversely this forum PP do not know either. Got it!

Why can't you pay for private school if it's so important to you. My parents are nasty and will stick it to me but they will not leave me or my kid anything which is fine. We planned for it and saved for college. You cannot afford the lifestyle so you need to cut back and respect this money is for them long term and not for now.

she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t care what, if anything, is left for them later.