"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I get that it sounds pretentious but I feel the same exact way. And anyone who equates extended day with a childhood full of agency, modest risk and spontaneity (plus nature, animals and strong traditions) is misguided. Luckily you just need to find one or two similarly minded parents and you can accomplish a lot.

Once I found a neighbor who shared my deep yearning to give this type of life to my children I got a lot closer, even in the city.

Just going on a hike with someone who isn’t obsessed with risk-management was a breath of fresh air. Parents who either aren’t hypochondriacs or are determined not to pass it on to their kids. Parents who are happiest when their kids are messiest, digging for worms and playing with sticks. Most of my dearest friends don’t fit this description but a few do, thank goodness!

You sure do sound pretentious. My god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry we are all impeding your ability to be the very best parent on earth op! I hope your daughter survives the pain we have caused.

[Anonymous]

We were poor and I didn't have any sports, lessons, or activities. I picked up an instrument in school when the lessons were free, but I was not encouraged to practice, but to "run outside and play" when my homework was done, so I never got better. I look at my friends who can play instruments, play sports, sing and draw well, and I wish my parents had been able to put some time and money into me. I had an unstructured free range childhood and I was ok, but we were poor so I didn't have the clothes I needed and things I needed without a lot of stress. A "carefree happy childhood" is luck and luxury, it's not something you can curate.

[Anonymous]

Hold up. Maud Hart Lovelace died in 1980. Are you sure she said/wrote something about her 6-year-old's peers (who would have been 6 in the late 1930s) being "on screens"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold up. Maud Hart Lovelace died in 1980. Are you sure she said/wrote something about her 6-year-old's peers (who would have been 6 in the late 1930s) being "on screens"?

ETA: NEVER MIND. It would help if the quote and your observation had something to do with each other, though.

[Anonymous]

OP, the sooner you can let go of the idea that you can make your child happy through some optimized experience, the better off you will be mentally. The parents of the RSM are trying to do the same thing from a different angle.

But I don’t think it’s a stretch to see that American society is broken and fractured due to our love of money.

When I talk to kids who spend time with families in less wealthy countries, it seems like that open ended outdoor play is much more common. But not in war zones obviously.

[Anonymous]

Assumes your child has a safe neighborhood in which to run around unsupervised. Never doubt that a small gang of kids at the Boys and Girls Club doing rather supervised activities were happier and safer than running through sandlots.

[Anonymous]

There’s positives and negatives to the way growing up has changed. I think it’s mostly negative in its effect on physical and mental health. It’s what the parents want for their emotional needs in this era. None of my friends would trade the childhood world we had for that of our now grown children but there really wasn’t a way to replicate it for our kids because the world wasn’t going along with it. The 50’s though 80s was a golden period for childhood that never existed before and didn’t after.

[Anonymous]

I lived in the Richard Levitt part of Bowie in Kindergarten, First grade and Second grade. It was wonderful. There were kids my age in almost every house. Every afternoon was free play with kids. We had a lot of outside play.

There was a lot of spontaneous pay. We also had spontaneous large group play.

We also walked to elementary school together. No Moms took their kids to school.

It was wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quote from Maud Hart Lovelace, the author of the Betsy-Tracy books.

I try to give my 6yo a similar childhood - very few structured activities, lots of free time especially outdoors, minimal screens, minimal expectations other than manners and helping at home - and I will still fail because nobody else does the same. We have a neighborhood full of kids but those kids are either in activities or on screens at home. Playgrounds sit empty on weekends. You can’t just run up to someone’s house on a weekday afternoon or weekend and ring their doorbell because chances are they won’t be around. It sucks, but oh well, I try my best. And my DD is a generally happy, cheerful kid so I guess there are other ways to have a happy childhood.

I am having a tough time imagining this to be true.
It is quite dramatic, though, OP. Makes me suspect of your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up putting my kids in lots of activities because I realized all of the kids my kids want to play with are in extended day or other activities. There is literally nobody around for my kids to play with. It is sad.

Because they're off doing what they enjoy instead of being home in case your kids want to play.

It's kind of odd to me that kids don't want any free play, hang out time in the neighborhood. It was a highlight of my childhood.

So you aren’t capable of understanding that different things make different people happy?

[Anonymous]

7:13 poster here.

In 3rd grade we moved to western Maryland from Bowie. It was another kind of wonderful for kids.

We rode our bikes literally for miles. We had to come home for lunch and for dinner but other than that we were on our bikes. We rode our bikes 2 miles round trip to the neighborhood pool.

On rainy days we stayed home and read books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the sooner you can let go of the idea that you can make your child happy through some optimized experience, the better off you will be mentally. The parents of the RSM are trying to do the same thing from a different angle.

But I don’t think it’s a stretch to see that American society is broken and fractured due to our love of money.

When I talk to kids who spend time with families in less wealthy countries, it seems like that open ended outdoor play is much more common. But not in war zones obviously.

This exactly. This is the same thing that overscheduling parents are trying to do, just turned 90°.

[Anonymous]

For my entire life I’ve hated getting dirty, and disliked the outdoors. During my free time as a kid, I listened to records while writing plays, reading, choreographing dances, playing with our dog, etc. I was happiest indoors, on a stage. When playing with other kids, I got us dresssed up and either putting on a play or choreographing a dance (based on my friends abilities and interests). Digging in dirt was not something you could have paid me to do.

[Anonymous]

During COVID, my girls made their own “gym” in our basement and we watched YouTube videos so they could practice gymnastics skills. Now, we get to do gymnastics on Saturday mornings. We go to church on Sunday mornings. We sometimes have Cub Scout activities.

Definitely feel sorry for my girls, who play and do gymnastics and swim and go on camping trips and are making lifelong friendships and memories that don’t involve going to someone’s house. Go ahead and ring our doorbell, we’re at the U.S. Botanic Gardens with cousins, enjoying the holiday decor. Ring our doorbell, we’re axe throwing with Cub Scouts. Be so sad for us.