"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents refused activities as they were too selfish to pay for them, despite having the money or taking us regularly. I would have loved to take classes in a few of my interests.

I grew up without enough money to do activities. I had a childhood where I spent a lot of time wandering the woods, catching bugs in jars, etc., and I grew up not ever having tried to learn an instrument or played on a sports team or been in a play. I give my kid those opportunities now (when she wants them), because I feel like I missed out on them when I was a kid. There's plus and minuses to any set of choices.

+1. My parents couldn’t afford any activities. I babysat my younger siblings.

Sure, I played too with the neighborhood kids but it’s way overrated. My kid is having so much more of an enriching childhood and trying so many new things and experiences. He plays at home too. It doesn’t have to be one or the other

[Anonymous]

I don't see how free play/free time is overrated, but whatever floats your boat. I also think it's very important for MS kids to have bit of this too. I've read many articles stating that play is crucial for them too, which I thought was normal and a given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't base your life around a book of fiction about the 1890s which was probably written with nostalgia and selective memory after the two world wars.

My grandparents lived then; while in some ways they had an simpler life, in many ways they did not. Kids often didn't graduate from high school and went to work in cities or on farms, there was a lot of death of siblings and parents from childhood diseases and bacterial infections.

I remember reading Caddie Woodlawn at 12 and longing for that life. It was a sweet story but it wasn't mine.

As someone who reads a lot of books from the 1890s and earlier — it’s funny how OP’s sentiment is a constant. Louisa May Alcott’s “good” parents are always worrying about how kids are growing up too fast and how the fast pace of modern life is bad for their nerves. Someday maybe I’ll do a retelling of Little Women in the media of a parenting forum.

Yeah, but what if they are right? Maria Montessori had a theory that the more we build up civilization, the more we restrict the movement of children. As cars and buses take over roads and communities, children have less freedom to run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread, carton of milk and stick of butter (70s Sesame Street reference). They also have less freedom to explore the outdoors, and to some extent the indoors (electricity, TVs, etc have taken over). Kids do fewer chores now and have less opportunity to see how the world works (where food comes from, clothing is made etc). As the world gets more complicated, we are further removed from the very things kids need to see to understand how the world works and what is really important to keep the world going.

Do you grow your own food and make your own clothes? Do you really understand how life saving medicines work, or what the Internet is? Do you feel worse off from people living a hundred years ago because of it, or like you have a lesser understanding of how the works works overall?

I'm all for unstructured time spent exploring, etc, but let's not pretend that the past hundred+ years has been a net negative for childhood and society.

It hasn’t been a net negative for society but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a net negative for childhood. I’m not saying reverse time, but that adults should be very thoughtful about how they explain and show things to kids. This was one of the fascinating pieces of reading rainbow and mister Rodger’s - they explained to kids how the world works to spark curiosity. I think kids tv and entertainment now with the nick jr and cartoons miss out on that opportunity. As parents we also need to explain factories and systems (both social/economic and scientific) not to say we know stuff but so kids can find their interests and build knowledge. If all you focus on is extra activities like sports, music and math/theatre you and your kid miss out on the coolness of the world and the massive global civilization people have created.

[Anonymous]

100 years ago kids were working, not playing. Even in the 40s one of my parents was growing up working in their family business. The other parent started at the age of 7 spending summers working for a relative. As a teen one parent also did laundry by hand for their family of 10.

[Anonymous]

I actually had a childhood where I free roamed the neighborhood. I was a latch key kid. Playgrounds are not that great.

I have 3 kids with full lives. I try my best to provide them with the best childhood possible. All three are doing well academically, play sports and have a lot of friends. We travel a lot. I also emphasize academics is first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 years ago kids were working, not playing. Even in the 40s one of my parents was growing up working in their family business. The other parent started at the age of 7 spending summers working for a relative. As a teen one parent also did laundry by hand for their family of 10.

I did laugh when I saw someone talking about how kids used to know how clothes were made. They definitely did, a lot of them were working in textile mills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quote from Maud Hart Lovelace, the author of the Betsy-Tracy books.

I try to give my 6yo a similar childhood - very few structured activities, lots of free time especially outdoors, minimal screens, minimal expectations other than manners and helping at home - and I will still fail because nobody else does the same. We have a neighborhood full of kids but those kids are either in activities or on screens at home. Playgrounds sit empty on weekends. You can’t just run up to someone’s house on a weekday afternoon or weekend and ring their doorbell because chances are they won’t be around. It sucks, but oh well, I try my best. And my DD is a generally happy, cheerful kid so I guess there are other ways to have a happy childhood.

I dispute your premise.

I’ve never seen an empty playground on weekends. It’s rude to show up unannounced at someone’s house. Screens aren’t evil. Structured activities are great for socialization and enrichment and are completely compatible with free play. Kids in my neighborhood play outdoors… maybe not 6 year olds unsupervised, but by 8 or 9, they’re roaming the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100 years ago kids were working, not playing. Even in the 40s one of my parents was growing up working in their family business. The other parent started at the age of 7 spending summers working for a relative. As a teen one parent also did laundry by hand for their family of 10.

I did laugh when I saw someone talking about how kids used to know how clothes were made. They definitely did, a lot of them were working in textile mills.

Yeah well they still do so don’t laugh too hard.


https://labs.theguardian.com/unicef-child-labour/