Is this a microaggression?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need to google definition of microaggression? If you feel attacked that's all you need to know. Trust yourself.

“If it FEELS like x then it IS x.”

Seems to hold true for most everything today.

Well, that sucks. I have a co worker who claimed micro aggression because I talked about how I like gardening and taking care of my yard. My coworker feels that I should have acknowledged that having a yard is a privilege and that I should be more sensitive to people who want one, but don't have one. I had no idea I had to preface this conversation with the acknowledgement of my privilege until HR TOLD ME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself OP

There is no such thing as a micro- aggression.

Now you're gaslighting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need to google definition of microaggression? If you feel attacked that's all you need to know. Trust yourself.

“If it FEELS like x then it IS x.”

Seems to hold true for most everything today.

Well, that sucks. I have a co worker who claimed micro aggression because I talked about how I like gardening and taking care of my yard. My coworker feels that I should have acknowledged that having a yard is a privilege and that I should be more sensitive to people who want one, but don't have one. I had no idea I had to preface this conversation with the acknowledgement of my privilege until HR TOLD ME.

LOLLL!! My head would have literally exploded. And then I never would have spoken to that coworker again and probably would have immediately looked for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired
Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

New Poster

I am a woman who graduated college in 1992. There was absolutely nothing keeping women out of tech degree programs or the military. I could have done either, but I had absolutely no desire for a military lifestyle (avoiding it like the plague), and although I took some programming classes, ultimately, I majored in Psych (by personal preference). Meanwhile, my then boyfriend and future husband did major in CS, where he had classmates, professors, and later colleagues and bosses who were women.

As PP indicated, while more men than women may have military experience and/or tech degrees, MOST men (by a vast majority) have neither.

It is very reasonable for employers to want to hire people who have proven they have the experience for the job, and a college degree is one obvious way to demonstrate competence. People who EARNED a tech degree have earned the respect that comes with it. If someone wants the same respect, they can certainly go back to school and earn a tech degree themselves. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough interest in Tech to study it long enough to earn a degree, why should an employer expect that you’ll want to devote yourself to it as a career.

One of my daughters has earned two degrees in tech. The respect she gets in her field is due to her accomplishments, not from pity for being a woman. Diminishing the importance of qualifications so as to make women who couldn’t be bothered feel better, not only sabotages the businesses they work for, but disrespects all those (men AND women alike) who worked their tails off to earn their place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

Sorry, I messed up quotes earlier so I’m trying again. (Clearly, I don’t belong in tech).

New Poster

I am a woman who graduated college in 1992. There was absolutely nothing keeping women out of tech degree programs or the military. I could have done either, but I had absolutely no desire for a military lifestyle (avoiding it like the plague), and although I took some programming classes, ultimately, I majored in Psych (by personal preference). Meanwhile, my then boyfriend and future husband did major in CS, where he had classmates, professors, and later colleagues and bosses who were women.

As a PP indicated, while more men than women may have military experience and/or tech degrees, MOST men (by a vast majority) have neither.

It is very reasonable for employers to want to hire people who have proven they have the experience for the job, and a college degree is one obvious way to demonstrate competence. People who EARNED a tech degree have earned the respect that comes with it. If someone wants the same respect, they can certainly go back to school and earn a tech degree themselves. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough interest in Tech to study it long enough to earn a degree, why should an employer expect that you’ll want to devote yourself to it as a career.

One of my daughters has earned two degrees in tech. The respect she gets in her field is due to her accomplishments, not from pity for being a woman. Diminishing the importance of qualifications so as to make women who couldn’t be bothered feel better, not only sabotages the businesses they work for, but disrespects all those (men AND women alike) who worked their tails off to earn their place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

You're rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need to google definition of microaggression? If you feel attacked that's all you need to know. Trust yourself.

“If it FEELS like x then it IS x.”

Seems to hold true for most everything today.

Well, that sucks. I have a co worker who claimed micro aggression because I talked about how I like gardening and taking care of my yard. My coworker feels that I should have acknowledged that having a yard is a privilege and that I should be more sensitive to people who want one, but don't have one. I had no idea I had to preface this conversation with the acknowledgement of my privilege until HR TOLD ME.

I would have laughed in their face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

You're rude.

Naw, she's micro-aggressive. 🤔😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need to google definition of microaggression? If you feel attacked that's all you need to know. Trust yourself.

“If it FEELS like x then it IS x.”

Seems to hold true for most everything today.

Well, that sucks. I have a co worker who claimed micro aggression because I talked about how I like gardening and taking care of my yard. My coworker feels that I should have acknowledged that having a yard is a privilege and that I should be more sensitive to people who want one, but don't have one. I had no idea I had to preface this conversation with the acknowledgement of my privilege until HR TOLD ME.

I would have laughed in their face.

Nah, perfect situation for the phrase "I'm sorry you feel that way" accompanied by an immediate dismissal of the individual as an un-serious person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why look for offense? If you’re not even sure if it’s a MICROagression, just let it go.

Either it wasn’t and you’re making a big deal out of nothing, bringing drama into the office, or it was and they were so inept that it’s unrecognizable as such, unless you help them out by bringing attention to it.

People sometimes just phrase things awkwardly. I know I have, and I bet you have, too. Thankfully, most of my professional career was spent before “microagressions” became something to perpetually guard against. If something actually offensive is said, by all means call it out. However, in ambiguous cases, let’s just extend a little grace to our fellow humans, give them the benefit of the doubt, and hope that when we inevitably fumble, others will be similarly understanding.

This. Value resilience, OP. It makes for a much happier life and better physical and mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

Sorry, I messed up quotes earlier so I’m trying again. (Clearly, I don’t belong in tech).

New Poster

I am a woman who graduated college in 1992. There was absolutely nothing keeping women out of tech degree programs or the military. I could have done either, but I had absolutely no desire for a military lifestyle (avoiding it like the plague), and although I took some programming classes, ultimately, I majored in Psych (by personal preference). Meanwhile, my then boyfriend and future husband did major in CS, where he had classmates, professors, and later colleagues and bosses who were women.

As a PP indicated, while more men than women may have military experience and/or tech degrees, MOST men (by a vast majority) have neither.

It is very reasonable for employers to want to hire people who have proven they have the experience for the job, and a college degree is one obvious way to demonstrate competence. People who EARNED a tech degree have earned the respect that comes with it. If someone wants the same respect, they can certainly go back to school and earn a tech degree themselves. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough interest in Tech to study it long enough to earn a degree, why should an employer expect that you’ll want to devote yourself to it as a career.

One of my daughters has earned two degrees in tech. The respect she gets in her field is due to her accomplishments, not from pity for being a woman. Diminishing the importance of qualifications so as to make women who couldn’t be bothered feel better, not only sabotages the businesses they work for, but disrespects all those (men AND women alike) who worked their tails off to earn their place.

This is word salad. I have no idea how this relates to a possible micro-aggression. If you are a woman in a STEM field, you are often still in the minority, especially as you are promoted. I don't understand what this has to do with "women who can't be bothered."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

Sorry, I messed up quotes earlier so I’m trying again. (Clearly, I don’t belong in tech).

New Poster

I am a woman who graduated college in 1992. There was absolutely nothing keeping women out of tech degree programs or the military. I could have done either, but I had absolutely no desire for a military lifestyle (avoiding it like the plague), and although I took some programming classes, ultimately, I majored in Psych (by personal preference). Meanwhile, my then boyfriend and future husband did major in CS, where he had classmates, professors, and later colleagues and bosses who were women.

As a PP indicated, while more men than women may have military experience and/or tech degrees, MOST men (by a vast majority) have neither.

It is very reasonable for employers to want to hire people who have proven they have the experience for the job, and a college degree is one obvious way to demonstrate competence. People who EARNED a tech degree have earned the respect that comes with it. If someone wants the same respect, they can certainly go back to school and earn a tech degree themselves. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough interest in Tech to study it long enough to earn a degree, why should an employer expect that you’ll want to devote yourself to it as a career.

One of my daughters has earned two degrees in tech. The respect she gets in her field is due to her accomplishments, not from pity for being a woman. Diminishing the importance of qualifications so as to make women who couldn’t be bothered feel better, not only sabotages the businesses they work for, but disrespects all those (men AND women alike) who worked their tails off to earn their place.

This is word salad. I have no idea how this relates to a possible micro-aggression. If you are a woman in a STEM field, you are often still in the minority, especially as you are promoted. I don't understand what this has to do with "women who can't be bothered."

I’m the poster you were responding to. That part of my post referenced an earlier poster who said they considered OP’s situation a microaggression because:

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

Certainly women are in the minority in STEM fields, but that is because less women than men CHOOSE to work in STEM fields. The fact that they make up a smaller percentage does not constitute a microagression, nor does it mean that every comment they dislike is a microagression.

If a woman is upset that she is shut out of jobs requiring a tech degree, she is welcome to do what all the qualified applicants (of both sexes) have done, which is to earn a tech degree.

[Anonymous]

Here's a microaggression: I have meetings weekly or more with new clients that include other members of my team. My coworker always "forgets" I'm in the meeting and calls on each person to introduce themselves except me. Then she begins the meeting, forcing me to either not be introduced or to break in and say, "I didn't introduce myself yet Jen". Then she fake apologizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I think it's a microagression.

However, I graduate college in the early 1990s with a BA degree in English. My entire career has been spent in high tech fields. I've managed to earn a doctorate, and I've had a very long career.

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

What? Most men don’t have tech degrees or military experience, either.

Sigh. Shall I type slower for you?

Far MORE men have military service backgrounds and until very recently, far MORE men had tech degrees than women (and even now, it will take time to catch up), therefore those positions are available to far MORE men than women.

Have you caught up now? DP

Sorry, I messed up quotes earlier so I’m trying again. (Clearly, I don’t belong in tech).

New Poster

I am a woman who graduated college in 1992. There was absolutely nothing keeping women out of tech degree programs or the military. I could have done either, but I had absolutely no desire for a military lifestyle (avoiding it like the plague), and although I took some programming classes, ultimately, I majored in Psych (by personal preference). Meanwhile, my then boyfriend and future husband did major in CS, where he had classmates, professors, and later colleagues and bosses who were women.

As a PP indicated, while more men than women may have military experience and/or tech degrees, MOST men (by a vast majority) have neither.

It is very reasonable for employers to want to hire people who have proven they have the experience for the job, and a college degree is one obvious way to demonstrate competence. People who EARNED a tech degree have earned the respect that comes with it. If someone wants the same respect, they can certainly go back to school and earn a tech degree themselves. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough interest in Tech to study it long enough to earn a degree, why should an employer expect that you’ll want to devote yourself to it as a career.

One of my daughters has earned two degrees in tech. The respect she gets in her field is due to her accomplishments, not from pity for being a woman. Diminishing the importance of qualifications so as to make women who couldn’t be bothered feel better, not only sabotages the businesses they work for, but disrespects all those (men AND women alike) who worked their tails off to earn their place.

This is word salad. I have no idea how this relates to a possible micro-aggression. If you are a woman in a STEM field, you are often still in the minority, especially as you are promoted. I don't understand what this has to do with "women who can't be bothered."

I’m the poster you were responding to. That part of my post referenced an earlier poster who said they considered OP’s situation a microaggression because:

I get so tired of seeing job descriptions that require a tech degree. Of course, that eliminates most women, because most women don't earn tech degrees. It's like jobs that require prior military experience eliminates most women, because most women are not prior military.

Certainly women are in the minority in STEM fields, but that is because less women than men CHOOSE to work in STEM fields. The fact that they make up a smaller percentage does not constitute a microagression, nor does it mean that every comment they dislike is a microagression.

If a woman is upset that she is shut out of jobs requiring a tech degree, she is welcome to do what all the qualified applicants (of both sexes) have done, which is to earn a tech degree.

Pp here. So women get micro-agressions daily in STEM fields and your daughter probably doesn't tell you. It starts from whatever engineering class 101 and it never stops. It has nothing to do with your degree or credential. And stop saying fewer women elect to go into STEM fields because some STEM degree enrollments are very close to 50/50. Women are just treated poorly and shunted into project management roles once they graduate. Or they leave the big companies and go into start ups with friends who treat them fairly as professionals. You daughter is right not to talk to you it seems. I suggest you educate yourself and read Nancy Hopkins' The Exceptions to start.

Finally, some tech jobs don't need a tech degrees. Some of the best coders I know dropped out of their liberal arts programs in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a microaggression: I have meetings weekly or more with new clients that include other members of my team. My coworker always "forgets" I'm in the meeting and calls on each person to introduce themselves except me. Then she begins the meeting, forcing me to either not be introduced or to break in and say, "I didn't introduce myself yet Jen". Then she fake apologizes.

How can you definitively determine that the coworker intentionally forgets you!? You assume the worst when you may actually be dealing with someone with face blindness or menopause or dementia. Why assume a fake apology? Why aren't YOU more understanding???