WWYT of this setup (sharing time between two houses)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve put the family’s collective focus of importance on this sport then I don’t see the arrangement as being any different than a family that has to separate for work travel, military duty, prolonged medical treatment, etc. They are making things work for their family’s priorities.

There is a HUGE difference. The child who does not get the attention can process military duty, work travel, medical care etc as necessary for the benefit of the family as a whole. Physically splitting up the family so one child can pursue the dream of [athletic/academic/artistic] excellence sends a direct message to the non-gifted child about his/her relative worth within the hierarchy of the family.

There has been a lot of ink spilled about how the left behind child feels in this scenario. Overwhelmingly, the left behind children choose not to parent the same way with their children when they have their own families.

Also see how the non-athletic child feels about their sibling’s travel sports teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple with two teenage kids. Kid 1 is state level talent and goes to a boarding school several hours away from the family residence. Parents buy a condo next to the school so that the kid doesn’t have to live in a dorm. One parent lives there with kid 1 and the other stays with kid 2 at the primary residence. On weekends they get together at one of the two “abodes”, sometimes the parents switch, they then separate again for the week.

Am I the being weird in seeing it as some low key prep for separation and maybe divorce?
Or there’s no hidden agenda here?

You are weird for giving it any thought at all. Mind your own phucking business you twat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you hoping to bang one of the parents or ???

MYOB.

+1

This was exacrtly my thought. OP, back off, you look and smell desperate.

OP here. I think your and PP’s remark tell more about you and her than me.
We’ve been friends with the wife for ages and it was her DH’s idea. She is a very nice person, almost naive. I don’t know him well enough to be sure it’s not some sort of separation preparation or some such.
The younger child seems to be doing fine.
I am very glad it’s a fairly common setup and I don’t need to worry about my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A couple with two teenage kids. Kid 1 is state level talent and goes to a boarding school several hours away from the family residence. Parents buy a condo next to the school so that the kid doesn’t have to live in a dorm. One parent lives there with kid 1 and the other stays with kid 2 at the primary residence. On weekends they get together at one of the two “abodes”, sometimes the parents switch, they then separate again for the week.

Am I the being weird in seeing it as some low key prep for separation and maybe divorce?
Or there’s no hidden agenda here?

You are weird for giving it any thought at all. Mind your own phucking business you twat.

Uh oh someone’s having a bad day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait is this your family or someone else’s?

Someone else’s. I am just super curious.

Doesn’t sound like prep for a divorce to me; sounds like attempts to be there for two children. Also sounds like not your business.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are considering doing something like this for a year. We want to move to another city to be closer to family and to put the kids in a better school/community environment. But the timing is hard and DH might need to spend 8-12 months longer in our current city for work, but if we all wait, our oldest will have to do a year of middle school at a school we really dislike and then switch schools in the middle of MS.

To make it easier on DD, we may go ahead and move the family this coming summer but either keep our old house for a year and DH would stay there but come see us weekends and holidays, or sell the old house and DH would stay in a corporate rental for a year. Either way means a year apart, which sucks. But it's a sacrifice we'd make to give our kids a better life.

It definitely would not be a temporary separation. Sometimes families live apart for reasons that have nothing to do with the marriage at all.

[Anonymous]

It’s certainly different but assume they have a good reason.

[Anonymous]

I am a figure skating fan and there are definitely families that do this - one parent moves with the skater to a better training location, or where they can find a suitable training partner etc. and the other parent stays behind with the rest of the family for work, school etc.

I don't think it has anythihng to do with the state of the parents marriage.