BIL's third wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know attendance is not mandatory.

DH and BIL do not get along. They haven't for years. BIL's next wedding is planned for a date that dh already knows he is busy. Work related, not mandatory.

Would your dh further the divide by not attending?

Don’t go. Simple…

[Anonymous]

Decline, and if the brother presses, say "There is a work commitment on that day. We will try to remain available for wedding #4."

[Anonymous]

Op here. Some of you make some pretty big jumps. No, there's no sexual assault. No affairs. There doesn't have to be something horrible behind siblings not getting along.

BIL is afraid of being alone (his own words) so he keeps getting married. He marries women who are controlling, like MIL was. Then he's miserable and is all woe is me, she's so mean. People get tired of it. Every time he falls in love it's with someone more controlling than the last one. One of his own kids doesn't want to go to this wedding. Other family members are hoping not to be invited.

Maybe we'll be in the not invited camp, who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Decline, and if the brother presses, say "There is a work commitment on that day. We will try to remain available for wedding #4."

Ha!! Hopefully he will elope for wedding #4.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are my brother and claim to stay home because his daughter might kill his wife, you go. My brother is a dbag and so are you. No amount of money in the world excuses family for being selfish, truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are my brother and claim to stay home because his daughter might kill his wife, you go. My brother is a dbag and so are you. No amount of money in the world excuses family for being selfish, truly.

???

Again with the adding things. Nobody said anything about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know attendance is not mandatory.

DH and BIL do not get along. They haven't for years. BIL's next wedding is planned for a date that dh already knows he is busy. Work related, not mandatory.

Would your dh further the divide by not attending?

Third wedding! Not only would not attend but wouldn't send even a token gift. The bride is crazy for marrying someone on his 3rd marriage.

[Anonymous]

1. Have you received an invitation?

2. Is this the bride's first wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Some of you make some pretty big jumps. No, there's no sexual assault. No affairs. There doesn't have to be something horrible behind siblings not getting along.

BIL is afraid of being alone (his own words) so he keeps getting married. He marries women who are controlling, like MIL was. Then he's miserable and is all woe is me, she's so mean. People get tired of it. Every time he falls in love it's with someone more controlling than the last one. One of his own kids doesn't want to go to this wedding. Other family members are hoping not to be invited.

Maybe we'll be in the not invited camp, who knows.

Toxic family and a brother + and SIL) who'd rather pretend to be superior than be kind..


An email or card is the thing to do here.

[Anonymous]

Are there aspiring fiction writers on this thread or just family drama addicts? The nut jobs on here who try to imagine all manner of scenarios to explain estranged sibling relationships, looping in money as a random factor, need to just keep watching their telenovelas.

[Anonymous]

1. Nobody has, yet.

2. Second marriage

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused. Wouldn’t a BIL have been married to DH’s sister? Or is this your BIL meaning it’s DH’s brother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. Wouldn’t a BIL have been married to DH’s sister? Or is this your BIL meaning it’s DH’s brother?

I'm pretty sure previous posts mention that they are siblings. Meaning DH's brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are my brother and claim to stay home because his daughter might kill his wife, you go. My brother is a dbag and so are you. No amount of money in the world excuses family for being selfish, truly.

Whatever, why should OP and her family treat this wedding day thing with any more gravitas than the BIL himself??
This marriage thing that he’s doing—for the fourth time—clearly doesn’t actually mean anything to him.
BIL has shown repeatedly that for him, it’s just some words and a party.

And OP’s DH is busy that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know attendance is not mandatory.

DH and BIL do not get along. They haven't for years. BIL's next wedding is planned for a date that dh already knows he is busy. Work related, not mandatory.

Would your dh further the divide by not attending?

Third wedding! Not only would not attend but wouldn't send even a token gift. The bride is crazy for marrying someone on his 3rd marriage.

+1