School consultant doesn't agree on placement

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of boarding school people who had a good experience are very pro-boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered Burke, St Andrew’s or Sandy Spring Friends? We seriously considered Burke years ago for our DS who has a disability but is very bright and we felt would do best at a mainstream school for MS. I was blown away by everyone we met and their willingness to review his IEP ahead of time so we would know if they could really accommodate him. It was also his first choice school when decisions came out. Unfortunately we needed too much FA so we ended up at a progressive K-8 that was more generous. Thankfully it worked out well. I won’t recommend the K-8 since you are looking for HS. However, we know of one classmate who had ASD who ended up happily at Sandy Spring. We also know of other kids who were neurodiverse (and neurotypical kids) who had a great experience at St Andrew’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP hear with an update. Consultant said she talked to the admissions director at the McLean School, who allegedly told her that McLean will take kids with ADHD who also have an ASD diagnosis, so long as they are engaged. We just left the McLean open house because the school head told the assembled 50+ parents and prospective students that they don’t serve kids with ASD. Categorically. My daughter was sitting right next to me. Imagine how she feels right now. We walked out.

Appreciate all of the advice. I’m with the general consensus that I should fire the consultant.

That’s so nasty about McLean. I am sorry OP. Your child will probably do better at a mainstream school that is not scared of diversity than a specialty school that is trying to fit into some niche. Sometimes its the “neurodiverse” world that is actually most judgmental.

This was similar to my experience at McClean. They talked it up like it would be okay for HFA kids but then also seem to send this underlying message that they won't even consider ASD kids. Even if they would consider a kid on an individual basis, I absolutely would not send my kid to a school with this kind of attitude - ASD or not. How awful.

[Anonymous]

The consultant is working for you, period. Did you pay entirely upfront, or was there a deposit? Is there a clause about terminating for a refund?

It's absurd to think your consultant can jerk you around. They are supposed to be on your side and work with what you want. I would have a real heart-to-heart with them. If you can't get your money back, then you can pull on heart string and if needed, make it clear you will vehemently NOT recommend them to others in your circle if they are not serving your needs. That might help. I'm not someone who typically does that kind of thing, but it makes me angry thinking about this person jerking you around.

You ultimately make the decision on what you want to pursue, and the consultant should be on the same page, even if they disagree. If you cannot trust them to make effective calls on your behalf, then ask them not to make any calls. There might be some value in considering the consultant's point of view in your selection process and considering a few schools of that type, but it sounds like you and the other adults in your DC's life have a pretty good handle on what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP hear with an update. Consultant said she talked to the admissions director at the McLean School, who allegedly told her that McLean will take kids with ADHD who also have an ASD diagnosis, so long as they are engaged. We just left the McLean open house because the school head told the assembled 50+ parents and prospective students that they don’t serve kids with ASD. Categorically. My daughter was sitting right next to me. Imagine how she feels right now. We walked out.

Appreciate all of the advice. I’m with the general consensus that I should fire the consultant.

Oh.

It’s you again.

Didn’t rile up enough people in your other thread, huh?

[Anonymous]

We know a consultant who worked for someone with a good reputation. Her only credentials are she taught at one of the schools and her own kids with went through the application process. She is also a good BSer. Can you share the name or at least initials? If it's her I will let you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d also cut your losses with the consultant. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sounds like she’s a good fit for your family.

Agree. You must be consumed with anxiety, OP. I'd cut your losses today and regain control over the process.

[Anonymous]

Your kid needs to be challenged academically and go to a large mainstream school. You're wasting your money with this idiotic school consultant.

My low-processing speed, ADHD and ASD son went to a good public school, took a dozen AP classes and is now doing well in college. He had and continues to have extended time, typing accommodations, in his public school, for the College Board and ACT exams, and his private university.

Don't overthink this, and keep your eye on the prize: decent college placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP hear with an update. Consultant said she talked to the admissions director at the McLean School, who allegedly told her that McLean will take kids with ADHD who also have an ASD diagnosis, so long as they are engaged. We just left the McLean open house because the school head told the assembled 50+ parents and prospective students that they don’t serve kids with ASD. Categorically. My daughter was sitting right next to me. Imagine how she feels right now. We walked out.

Appreciate all of the advice. I’m with the general consensus that I should fire the consultant.

Ooh, you're the weird one who posted about McLean. You seem really lost about this whole education thing. It's not that hard. Your daughter has to go to a good mainstream school. Get her services and accommodations with an IEP or 504. That's where she'll have her best shot at a great college.

[Anonymous]

McLean seemed to almost just be a regular private school. They even said a lot of their kids have no disability. I don't know it in detail, but what do they actually provide that makes them a special needs school?

[Anonymous]

I would go and tour 1 boarding school.
You might be surprised.

I would also look at Academy of the Holy Cross (It does not feel as if you are looking at Catholic Schools - but it might be worth a look)

Talk with Burke
And go do another tour at McLean
Burke and Field are typically mentioned together but they have 2 very different vibes. For what you described, I think Burke might be a better fit - but you know your child.