School consultant doesn't agree on placement

[Anonymous]

OP: I know Field fairly well (even though - trust me I wish I did - I don't work in admissions there) and from what I know your view/pitch of your daughter would be much more welcome than this consultants. Just because a school is a place where a lot of "quirky" kids thrive, it doesn't mean that's what the school is looking for in admissions.

2c from a stranger on the internet. Best luck in this process!

[Anonymous]

Ditch the consultant. You don't feel well represented by her. Thank her for her advice and support thus far and tell her you are moving in a different direction. Goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Are the consultant's initials LS? If so she's crazy know-it-all and recommends every child go to a SN school and will ignore any evidence to the contrary - teacher recommendations, observations, parent input, etc. She bases everything on her own personal experience. Hire someone else. Trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're looking for a private high school for our rising ninth-grader. DC has ADHD (very slow processing speed) and mild ASD. DC is excelling academically and is meh socially (not brilliant but not terrible), which I attribute in part to the small pool of friend options at her current school. To be clear: DC is socially awkward but engaged in school and wants a social life.

We hired a school consultant who specializes in neurodiverse kids. We are not on the same page with her. DC's school director (who has been placing kids like DC for years) and DC's psychiatrist/therapist (who works with lots of kids like DC) both think DC should go to a school with a balance of neurotypical and neurodiverse kids, sports, and AP classes. Their view (which I agree with) is that it will further DC's academic and social/emotional development to attend someplace like Field or McLean. School consultant is recommending boarding school (she went to boarding school) or tiny schools that that are largely comprised of neurodiverse kids and have no AP classes or sports. Essentially, she thinks everyone else is wrong, based on DC's school transcript, neuropsych report, and a 20-minute meeting with DC.

My concerns are two-fold. First, I worry that the advice she gives us as we go through the application process will be geared toward getting DC into her preferred schools, not ours. Second, I worry about how she will communicate with schools on DC's behalf. Already, when I speak to her, she emphasizes DC's quirkiness rather than DC's academic accomplishments, longtime commitment to playing a sport, incredible writing skills--i.e., DC's strengths. We don't plan to hide DC's diagnoses, but the school consultant seems to lead with them. We think they're just one aspect of DC's application.

What should I do? The school consultant is prickly. We can try to reorient her, but I worry that she'll just get resentful and will dig-in. To be clear: I am not a shrinking violet. I've raised these issues, and she she just ignores me. Should I tell her to stay behind the scenes and not communicate with schools? Should I fire her? We spent a lot of money, but I'd rather lose it then have her essentially sandbag DC at schools that everyone else thinks could be a good fit for DC. She's already contacting schools and I'm not sure what she's telling them.

If this is is who I am thinking of your concerns are very valid. Get away your child away from this person.

We worked with her on an IEP in public and on exploring private schools. The word prickly would be exactly how I'd describe her but I have many stronger words too. Despite my instincts we allowed her to join us at the IEP meeting and felt like she was sabotaging it with her own agenda. She was not acting in the best interests of our child and not representing our perspective but rather her own world view that kids on the spectrum who seem to be doing well are just faking it and that they all need to be separated from NT kids in order to get the right amount of sport. Same experience of her grabbing on to any sort of weakness and completely ignoring the strengths. During this meeting she even said several times that she "disagrees with the parents." WTH right? We paid $7000 to this witch and thinking about her right now makes me sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're looking for a private high school for our rising ninth-grader. DC has ADHD (very slow processing speed) and mild ASD. DC is excelling academically and is meh socially (not brilliant but not terrible), which I attribute in part to the small pool of friend options at her current school. To be clear: DC is socially awkward but engaged in school and wants a social life.

We hired a school consultant who specializes in neurodiverse kids. We are not on the same page with her. DC's school director (who has been placing kids like DC for years) and DC's psychiatrist/therapist (who works with lots of kids like DC) both think DC should go to a school with a balance of neurotypical and neurodiverse kids, sports, and AP classes. Their view (which I agree with) is that it will further DC's academic and social/emotional development to attend someplace like Field or McLean. School consultant is recommending boarding school (she went to boarding school) or tiny schools that that are largely comprised of neurodiverse kids and have no AP classes or sports. Essentially, she thinks everyone else is wrong, based on DC's school transcript, neuropsych report, and a 20-minute meeting with DC.

My concerns are two-fold. First, I worry that the advice she gives us as we go through the application process will be geared toward getting DC into her preferred schools, not ours. Second, I worry about how she will communicate with schools on DC's behalf. Already, when I speak to her, she emphasizes DC's quirkiness rather than DC's academic accomplishments, longtime commitment to playing a sport, incredible writing skills--i.e., DC's strengths. We don't plan to hide DC's diagnoses, but the school consultant seems to lead with them. We think they're just one aspect of DC's application.

What should I do? The school consultant is prickly. We can try to reorient her, but I worry that she'll just get resentful and will dig-in. To be clear: I am not a shrinking violet. I've raised these issues, and she she just ignores me. Should I tell her to stay behind the scenes and not communicate with schools? Should I fire her? We spent a lot of money, but I'd rather lose it then have her essentially sandbag DC at schools that everyone else thinks could be a good fit for DC. She's already contacting schools and I'm not sure what she's telling them.

If this is is who I am thinking of your concerns are very valid. Get away your child away from this person.

We worked with her on an IEP in public and on exploring private schools. The word prickly would be exactly how I'd describe her but I have many stronger words too. Despite my instincts we allowed her to join us at the IEP meeting and felt like she was sabotaging it with her own agenda. She was not acting in the best interests of our child and not representing our perspective but rather her own world view that kids on the spectrum who seem to be doing well are just faking it and that they all need to be separated from NT kids in order to get the right amount of sport. Same experience of her grabbing on to any sort of weakness and completely ignoring the strengths. During this meeting she even said several times that she "disagrees with the parents." WTH right? We paid $7000 to this witch and thinking about her right now makes me sick.

Yikes. I keep on running into this with providers as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fire her, and I wish you would post her name.

School consultants have no actual credential, licensing or training requirements. She’s not trained in understanding your daughter’s abilities and could even be getting kickbacks from the places she recommends.

Also I find that some practicioners are just really invested in being “neurodiverse friendly” to the point they think all kids on the spectrum need a restricted setting and that mainstreaming is inherently discriminatory or harmful because they will be expected to fit in.

I have a son similar to yours and I have run into these types who try to push the identity-based paradigm and want to segregate him with other kids on the spectrum. Which is totally inappropriate for him as he does well in most respects mainstreamed.

Honest to God, if you are so unhappy that you are posting here and wasting our time, fire them! they are a dime a dozen. get someone who adheres to your views!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire her, and I wish you would post her name.

School consultants have no actual credential, licensing or training requirements. She’s not trained in understanding your daughter’s abilities and could even be getting kickbacks from the places she recommends.

Also I find that some practicioners are just really invested in being “neurodiverse friendly” to the point they think all kids on the spectrum need a restricted setting and that mainstreaming is inherently discriminatory or harmful because they will be expected to fit in.

I have a son similar to yours and I have run into these types who try to push the identity-based paradigm and want to segregate him with other kids on the spectrum. Which is totally inappropriate for him as he does well in most respects mainstreamed.

Honest to God, if you are so unhappy that you are posting here and wasting our time, fire them! they are a dime a dozen. get someone who adheres to your views!

Umm yes, that is what I am advising PP. I hired an advocate who has the background and perspective that matches mine.

[Anonymous]

We used a well known educational consultant once. I was worried about my DC's ADHD and language deficits (no ASD) and where he could go to a school that would remediate them. The consultant basically, said that remediation was important, but just as important, if not more important is educating to a kid's strengths, because that was what was going to keep him afloat amidst the weaknesses.

He was absolutely right, and years later my DC's interest and ability in math/science has given him a place in college and many good career options even though he will never write anything longer than a 3 page memo.

And, furthermore, the best treatment for his ADHD (medicine aside) is to feed his hyperfocus - that means access to challenging classes.

[Anonymous]

Please name the consultant so we can avoid her!

[Anonymous]

Is this the same OP who complained about McLean? The head of the school said they don’t serve ASD kids well, according to your quote in another post. That’s pretty different from not serving them at all.

[Anonymous]

McLean and Field dont admit students with ASD. By all means apply to both and prove me wrong.

OP, get a second opinion from another consultant or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:McLean and Field dont admit students with ASD. By all means apply to both and prove me wrong.

OP, get a second opinion from another consultant or two.

My autistic child went to MS at Field (just before covid/the new HOS, and we disclosed the autism/provided our IEP and neuropsych). We were working with LS at the time (she was great in public school IEP meetings) and chose Field over autism-specific schools against her advice. Field promised us much more social and academic support than they actually provided and we were happy to leave for HS. In retrospect, LS was right, we just didn't want to see it.

[Anonymous]

We had the same experience at Field. Terribly uninformed counseling office, promises of support when enrollment was low--and then shaming of DC when they needed the support that was promised. The administrators were fake-nice and condescending--Sometimes the consultant has first hand knowledge from other recent cases they can't disclose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the consultant's initials LS? If so she's crazy know-it-all and recommends every child go to a SN school and will ignore any evidence to the contrary - teacher recommendations, observations, parent input, etc. She bases everything on her own personal experience. Hire someone else. Trust your gut.

Not OP. I was thinking the exact same. She has a bad rep.

[Anonymous]

Can you share what school your child currently attends?