Would you say anything? Teen on TikTok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has a friend, a popular girl at school. Not a gf, but a friend, someone to talk to during lunch, they have a few classes together. He showed me her TikTok and I am concerned. She is barely dressed. Skimpy doesn't even describe it. I also see comments on her account from grown men, not always appropriate. This girl is 15! I run into her mother on occasion. Should I say anything to her?

Skimpy on Tik Tok = bikini or lingerie.
It's not the same thing as skimpy in real life.
Teens get that, but their parents do not.

I know you're concerned, but you having a conversation with her mother isn't going to go over well.

really? it's so very different, huh? after all, the former is just there for everyone to see. not all teens "get that", you know?

You're responding to a 43 year old, who gets that. But it's a brave new world out there, PP. The skimpiness is normalized. Unless they're spotted on OnlyFans, there are no professional repercussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How bad is it? Many girls and young women dress skimpily on social media, to no ill effect as far as I can see.

If it's to the point where it might hurt her academic and professional career, I think it's your son who should say it. Coming from someone's mother, she'll dismiss you out of hand. But if it comes from a peer and someone she trusts to have her best interests at heart, particularly a boy... she might take it to heart. And the argument shouldn't be a moral one. It should be kept strictly as a college apps / internship /internet is forever, sort of discussion.

Why is it bad at all?

Teens can wear bikinis at the pool and beach, granny.

MYOB.

Time and place for everything.
My boss asks for social media profiles of candidates and requires a thorough review of postings. An incidental shot snapped on the beach probably okay but he sure as heck would overrule any hiring of someone who regularly posts for the general public videos of themselves in bathing suits or underwear, even if it was several years in the past.

Does anyone else find this dystopian?

No effing way I would ever consider working for an employer who felt they had the right to be so intrusive in my private life. Does your boss inquire as to people’s preferred sexual positions as well?

What?
Why do you think things posted for the public on the Internet are your "private life"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How bad is it? Many girls and young women dress skimpily on social media, to no ill effect as far as I can see.

If it's to the point where it might hurt her academic and professional career, I think it's your son who should say it. Coming from someone's mother, she'll dismiss you out of hand. But if it comes from a peer and someone she trusts to have her best interests at heart, particularly a boy... she might take it to heart. And the argument shouldn't be a moral one. It should be kept strictly as a college apps / internship /internet is forever, sort of discussion.

Why is it bad at all?

Teens can wear bikinis at the pool and beach, granny.

MYOB.

It's not the clothes. It's the comments from older males who are following a teenage girl on social media.

So? Just ignore them.

PP doesn’t realize the kids get off on the comments about how gorgeous they are, how pretty, hot, etc. That is why they post it, for the dopamine hit. They literally don’t care if it is 13 year boy that wrote it, a creppy 40 year old man, or a 16 year old female classmate.

That is 100% true.

On the internet, nobody cares that you’re a dog.

[Anonymous]

No. I have 2 kids this age, and if the girl is posting that stuff- her parents already know and do not care. Everyone talks, things get around. They know. I’m surprised at how many parents are ok with stuff like this, TBH- but they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, no. Stop judging what young women are wearing. If you couldn't see breasts or genitals, which you couldn't, MYOB.

Umm I know girls where you basically can see parts of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How bad is it? Many girls and young women dress skimpily on social media, to no ill effect as far as I can see.

If it's to the point where it might hurt her academic and professional career, I think it's your son who should say it. Coming from someone's mother, she'll dismiss you out of hand. But if it comes from a peer and someone she trusts to have her best interests at heart, particularly a boy... she might take it to heart. And the argument shouldn't be a moral one. It should be kept strictly as a college apps / internship /internet is forever, sort of discussion.

Why is it bad at all?

Teens can wear bikinis at the pool and beach, granny.

MYOB.

Time and place for everything.
My boss asks for social media profiles of candidates and requires a thorough review of postings. An incidental shot snapped on the beach probably okay but he sure as heck would overrule any hiring of someone who regularly posts for the general public videos of themselves in bathing suits or underwear, even if it was several years in the past.

Does anyone else find this dystopian?

No effing way I would ever consider working for an employer who felt they had the right to be so intrusive in my private life. Does your boss inquire as to people’s preferred sexual positions as well?

What?
Why do you think things posted for the public on the Internet are your "private life"?

Posting things for the public as a private individual (and not for my employer) is my “private life” you nincompoop.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how well you know the mom.
I am from a fairly conservative community and I would want to know, but only if you are a friend. Otherwise I'd think it is just nosiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How bad is it? Many girls and young women dress skimpily on social media, to no ill effect as far as I can see.

If it's to the point where it might hurt her academic and professional career, I think it's your son who should say it. Coming from someone's mother, she'll dismiss you out of hand. But if it comes from a peer and someone she trusts to have her best interests at heart, particularly a boy... she might take it to heart. And the argument shouldn't be a moral one. It should be kept strictly as a college apps / internship /internet is forever, sort of discussion.

Why is it bad at all?

Teens can wear bikinis at the pool and beach, granny.

MYOB.

Time and place for everything.
My boss asks for social media profiles of candidates and requires a thorough review of postings. An incidental shot snapped on the beach probably okay but he sure as heck would overrule any hiring of someone who regularly posts for the general public videos of themselves in bathing suits or underwear, even if it was several years in the past.

Your boss is an idiot. All the hiring/hr training I’ve had has been very clear that searching social media posts for applicants is a massive discrimination lawsuit waiting to happen.