Let nanny go - feel terrible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you paid her 4 weeks severance for a job poorly done.

This. And tell the agency that clearly cherry-picked the references they gave you. No way she wasn't doing this previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a nanny who was constantly late. Drove me crazy. Talked to her about it several times. She said she'd do better, but she didn't. Finally, I let her go. Paid her a week's severance. She was pissed off at us, but it was insanely disruptive. I don't know why she couldn't show up on time. She was great with the baby, but her unreliability was too much to take. Why take a job if you can't show up on time? We were fair employers, I thought. Found her through an agency. She had great references. It was upsetting, but had to be done.

+1

Same. It is a job, not a luxury. We pay you more than well, you have no qualifications, be grateful.

We hired a nanny with a bachelor’s degree with early childhood coursework and five years of experience.

Yea that’s not qualifying for anything. Also, they count babysitting for family as years of experience.

Tell that to every employer that requires a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a nanny who was constantly late. Drove me crazy. Talked to her about it several times. She said she'd do better, but she didn't. Finally, I let her go. Paid her a week's severance. She was pissed off at us, but it was insanely disruptive. I don't know why she couldn't show up on time. She was great with the baby, but her unreliability was too much to take. Why take a job if you can't show up on time? We were fair employers, I thought. Found her through an agency. She had great references. It was upsetting, but had to be done.

+1

Same. It is a job, not a luxury. We pay you more than well, you have no qualifications, be grateful.

We hired a nanny with a bachelor’s degree with early childhood coursework and five years of experience.

Yea that’s not qualifying for anything. Also, they count babysitting for family as years of experience.

Tell that to every employer that requires a college degree.

They are idiots. Who requires one? I mean I definitely prefer college student babysitters but going to college to be a career nanny is just a bad investment.

I think nannies on this board are thinking of themselves as a very specific high end nanny - the celebrity nanny. Sure those people are in fact probably idiots.

But the DMV T10 lawyers aren’t fooled by an ECE degree unless they have an uneducated spouse who handles life.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, please ignore the mean comments. I also had to let a nanny go who was a terrible fit for our family and did some things that were questionable and borderline unsafe. I knew I was 100% justified, but it still is so unpleasant to be the bearer of bad news. Nanny felt blindsided and it kind of sucked.

We now have a nanny who is so so much better. There are good ones out there, but I think it’s not uncommon to end up with a mediocre or even bad nanny.

[Anonymous]

It's not your nanny. It's you the Parent

I'm a psychiatrist. Discipline your kids, even if they're young.

[Anonymous]

It's normal and okay to feel bad for her, and still know that it was the right decision for you and your family. I have had to fire people at work and even when they more than deserved it, on a human level I feel sad about it. It's the worst part of being a boss.

[Anonymous]

You’re ridiculous for giving her a month’s pay.

Can I have $4,000? Aren’t you concerned about my financial stability too? I promise I can show up late (or not at all) whatever it takes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not your nanny. It's you the Parent

I'm a psychiatrist. Discipline your kids, even if they're young.

What does this mean? The post is not about kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's normal and okay to feel bad for her, and still know that it was the right decision for you and your family. I have had to fire people at work and even when they more than deserved it, on a human level I feel sad about it. It's the worst part of being a boss.

OP here - thanks for saying this. This is exactly how I felt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, please ignore the mean comments. I also had to let a nanny go who was a terrible fit for our family and did some things that were questionable and borderline unsafe. I knew I was 100% justified, but it still is so unpleasant to be the bearer of bad news. Nanny felt blindsided and it kind of sucked.

We now have a nanny who is so so much better. There are good ones out there, but I think it’s not uncommon to end up with a mediocre or even bad nanny.

OP here - thanks for this comment! We actually had a new nanny start and she’s been really really great so feeling lucky it seems to all have worked out.

[Anonymous]

What did the agency guarantee? I hope you’ve been in contact with them throughout this ordeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, please ignore the mean comments. I also had to let a nanny go who was a terrible fit for our family and did some things that were questionable and borderline unsafe. I knew I was 100% justified, but it still is so unpleasant to be the bearer of bad news. Nanny felt blindsided and it kind of sucked.

We now have a nanny who is so so much better. There are good ones out there, but I think it’s not uncommon to end up with a mediocre or even bad nanny.

OP here - thanks for this comment! We actually had a new nanny start and she’s been really really great so feeling lucky it seems to all have worked out.

LOL

ya right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, please ignore the mean comments. I also had to let a nanny go who was a terrible fit for our family and did some things that were questionable and borderline unsafe. I knew I was 100% justified, but it still is so unpleasant to be the bearer of bad news. Nanny felt blindsided and it kind of sucked.

We now have a nanny who is so so much better. There are good ones out there, but I think it’s not uncommon to end up with a mediocre or even bad nanny.

OP here - thanks for this comment! We actually had a new nanny start and she’s been really really great so feeling lucky it seems to all have worked out.

LOL

ya right

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted this a little while ago - https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1154334.page

We ended up letting our nanny go after a few more times of texting that she had just woken up at the time she was supposed to be at our house. It was just too disruptive to our schedules and having to scramble to see who could cover childcare.

Anyways, even though I do think it was the right decision bc we really do need that reliability, I feel so so bad. Like cried for a good 20 minutes about it and have just felt terrible all evening. She was surprised and upset and I hate making someone feel bad and also of course worry about her finances. We are paying 4 weeks severance even though there was cause and per our contract we wouldn’t have to.

I’m not sure what I’m asking, maybe just reassurance that I did the right thing? Anyone been in this boat?

I am a totally non confrontational person, bordering on the doormat but your behavior is ridiculous. The nanny multiple times woke up at the time she was supposed to be at work??? She clearly does not need a job because if she did she would be on time every day. Something like that can happen once as a total exception (the clock broke and it summer saving time started or she was jetlagged coming from california or something like that) but not getting up in morning multiple times in a job where you must be ontime because your employer has to go to work is inexcusable. She was not professional at all and just for that i wonder if she was actually a good nanny. Even i would not have given her a month severance, max a week or two because i am a dormat, but people who need a job work for it.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, Yes I think you did the right thing here by letting your Nanny go.

No one likes firing people & I can understand your guilt in doing so (though you did nothing wrong!)

You were a very fair, respectful + generous employer and many people would love to have an employer like you.

Your Nanny was extremely unreliable during her time w/you and should not have been that surprised that you issued her her walking papers.

Plus a four-wk severance package was very generous of you. 😃