Do I have unreasonable expectations?

[Anonymous]

We have had a nanny for about 4 months now. She is warm and caring with our child (infant). We went thru an agency and she had very good references.

The issue is she is pretty unreliable/takes a lot of time off/sick days. Even though she started mid year, we gave her the full standard 2 weeks off and 5 sick days thru year end. She’s used almost all of them already, is consistently 15-30 mins late (while I always take over the baby at least 15 mins early at the end of the day bc I know her day ends at our agreed end-time, she shouldn’t have to use her “off” time to gather her things and go to the bathroom before she leaves). She’s had a no call/no show one time, and other times she hasn’t shown up on time and only woke up because we texted asking where she was, and then she came in late.

We pay $30/hour on the books guaranteed 45 hours a week (so 5 hours are time and a half). For about 2 months, I was still on maternity leave so she only worked about 6-7 hours a day even though we paid her the guaranteed 45 each week. She does no cleaning, no bottle washing, no baby laundry - which is truly fine, I want her to focus on the baby. She leaves her own dirty dishes in the sink unwashed half the time. Ok fine, I want her to focus on the baby. I have no problem with her using her phone, having the tv on, whatever.

Sorry for the wall of text - I just wanted to paint the picture that we are (in my view) not demanding employers and pay a fair rate. My spouse and I both work very busy jobs and have an older child we get back and forth to full day preschool (nanny is never responsible for more than one child at a time - spouse or I take off work on days older child might be home to tagteam childcare with nanny).

My question is - are my expectations about reliability/punctuality unreasonable? Like I said at the beginning I do think she does a good job with the baby, and maybe that outweighs everything but if I keep having to take off more work bc my nanny isn’t here I’m not sure what the point of having one is, I could just stay home and watch the baby myself (which I don’t want to do but you get the point).

Thoughts?!?

[Anonymous]

This would be a deal breaker for me. My kids are older, but in the 6 years we had a nanny she was never late and always communicated if she was sick (which was rare).

[Anonymous]

You are completely reasonable. That is not acceptable for an employee. Timeliness is a key part of the job.

[Anonymous]

No call no show is a huge problem (unless there was some reason like got in to a car accident on the way over and was unconscious)

Coming late I think you have to address specifically. If you are 15 minutes late, I am 15 minutes late. Now that I am back at work I will need you to stay late so can make up the time at my office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had a nanny for about 4 months now. She is warm and caring with our child (infant). We went thru an agency and she had very good references.

The issue is she is pretty unreliable/takes a lot of time off/sick days. Even though she started mid year, we gave her the full standard 2 weeks off and 5 sick days thru year end. She’s used almost all of them already, is consistently 15-30 mins late (while I always take over the baby at least 15 mins early at the end of the day bc I know her day ends at our agreed end-time, she shouldn’t have to use her “off” time to gather her things and go to the bathroom before she leaves). She’s had a no call/no show one time, and other times she hasn’t shown up on time and only woke up because we texted asking where she was, and then she came in late.

We pay $30/hour on the books guaranteed 45 hours a week (so 5 hours are time and a half). For about 2 months, I was still on maternity leave so she only worked about 6-7 hours a day even though we paid her the guaranteed 45 each week. She does no cleaning, no bottle washing, no baby laundry - which is truly fine, I want her to focus on the baby. She leaves her own dirty dishes in the sink unwashed half the time. Ok fine, I want her to focus on the baby. I have no problem with her using her phone, having the tv on, whatever.

Sorry for the wall of text - I just wanted to paint the picture that we are (in my view) not demanding employers and pay a fair rate. My spouse and I both work very busy jobs and have an older child we get back and forth to full day preschool (nanny is never responsible for more than one child at a time - spouse or I take off work on days older child might be home to tagteam childcare with nanny).

My question is - are my expectations about reliability/punctuality unreasonable? Like I said at the beginning I do think she does a good job with the baby, and maybe that outweighs everything but if I keep having to take off more work bc my nanny isn’t here I’m not sure what the point of having one is, I could just stay home and watch the baby myself (which I don’t want to do but you get the point).

Thoughts?!?

Any one of these would be a dealbreaker for me and together they are completely unacceptable.

I would not be ok with a nanny having the TV on and while occasional phone use would be ok, I would define "occasional" to mean "when necessary" (which would not include surfing the Internet or texting socially).

In my house she would be gone.

[Anonymous]

I’d fire her today and have a new nanny start by Monday. I’d also not go through this agency again and would place an ad here instead.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell the agency. So much of this is unacceptable (would your employer find tardiness/call outs acceptable)? For reference, I am in Chevy Chase with one toddler and a FT nanny paid on the books at $26/hr plus benefits. Yes, she has taken sick time, but always let us know she is under the weather the night before or morning of. And she has even offered to reach out to her nanny friends to substitute in when we are in a pinch! She washes her lunch dishes and our child’s dishes. She often will put our dirty dishes in the dishwasher too. I’m just saying that many nannys go above and beyond and you can do better especially at $30/hr through an agency!

[Anonymous]

No it’s not acceptable. Have you had a sit down chat with her about it?
As a former Nanny I will say a lot of Nannts get frustrated by employers who want them around when they’re not at work. I used to start work at 0630 but both my bosses would leave the house within a couple minutes of me walking in.
Do you hang around after her start time? If you do this might be why she’s de used it’s ok to be late, it’s not ok, I’m just saying she may be feeling unneeded. It’s not professional but if you otherwise like her I would chat to her but then make yourself scarce when she gets to work, other than a quick chat about the baby if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Totally unacceptable. Fire her. With all future nannies have them earn time off. So they get two weeks a year, but they earn one day a month (roughly).

[Anonymous]

You can do so much better. I pay a lot less than you do for a reliable nanny who is amazing with my kid and never does screen time. She is not always diligent at tidying up play areas but she does my kid’s laundry and cleans up after their meals- she certainly doesn’t leave her dishes for me to wash!

[Anonymous]

OP email [e-mail]. It’ll be worth your while.

[Anonymous]

Tell the agency so they can find you a new nanny!

[Anonymous]

I had a nanny who was consistently late. It was awful. Every single day I stressed about whether she was coming, and when, since I typically had meeting stacked up / needed to get to work.

I didn’t want to text her to remind her and look like a control freak. I wanted to be a chill employer because she was really good with the kids.

I ultimately let her go and found someone who is by nature early. It’s so much better for my planning brain. Ymmv, but it was a huge mental relief to me when I got someone punctual.

[Anonymous]

You paid big bucks to Agency only to get a subpar nanny. Get the agency on the phone and make them find you a new nanny gratis.

[Anonymous]

OP you are babying your nanny. So many of the things she does are unacceptable. Also for $30/hour she should be able to manage two kids at once!