Mistresses/“second wives”

[Anonymous]

In Muslim countries, you can have multiple wives, just in different houses.

[Anonymous]

Rudy Giuliani used to do this a couple decades ago with his third wife when he was still married to Donna Hanover. He has an alcohol problem so that tells you about his judgment, then and now.

[Anonymous]

Poster above....in the States, it contributed to much negative gossip and he was seen as a slimeball so no not really common in the states for a public figure to be that clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Dubai and this is super common among the rich Emirati men. There is a thriving prostitution industry here, with multiple levels created to serve men of various income levels and status. One of my friends here has an apartment in Downtown Dubai, and one of the guys who works at the front security desk of her building tells us about the women who live there in units paid for by their Emirati sugar daddies: these women are the professional mistresses who have "made it" in their industry, I guess. It is kind of sad because they are almost invariably very young (late teens, early 20s) Eastern European girls, and the ones we see in the building with their Emirati beaus are always with a man who is middle aged or older. My husband and I were out to dinner last week and he pointed out one old Emirati man in traditional garb sitting at a booth with a gorgeous girl who looked to be late teens, clearly not Emirati, and wearing a super short skirt. The old man kept stroking her face and moving closer to her and she looked so uncomfortable. All the Emirati men are married young, and many have more than one wife, but the actual wives are Emirati and traditional Muslim, so cover and aren't out in public as much. My friends and I are fascinated to know what the Emirati women think about the prostitutes and mistresses, but also about the circumstances that led to these Eastern European girls ending up here in these situations.

Can’t they have 4 wives? Why would they need a mistress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dutch grandfather was married to my French grandmother and would take his Spanish mistress on vacation with them but grandma didn’t know it. He would book 2 hotel rooms at the same hotel on different floors and go back and forth. Unfortunately the behavior is super common in Europe.

My exH did this to me. Also European. We divorced

[Anonymous]

I guess that's why some religions allow more than one wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Dubai and this is super common among the rich Emirati men. There is a thriving prostitution industry here, with multiple levels created to serve men of various income levels and status. One of my friends here has an apartment in Downtown Dubai, and one of the guys who works at the front security desk of her building tells us about the women who live there in units paid for by their Emirati sugar daddies: these women are the professional mistresses who have "made it" in their industry, I guess. It is kind of sad because they are almost invariably very young (late teens, early 20s) Eastern European girls, and the ones we see in the building with their Emirati beaus are always with a man who is middle aged or older. My husband and I were out to dinner last week and he pointed out one old Emirati man in traditional garb sitting at a booth with a gorgeous girl who looked to be late teens, clearly not Emirati, and wearing a super short skirt. The old man kept stroking her face and moving closer to her and she looked so uncomfortable. All the Emirati men are married young, and many have more than one wife, but the actual wives are Emirati and traditional Muslim, so cover and aren't out in public as much. My friends and I are fascinated to know what the Emirati women think about the prostitutes and mistresses, but also about the circumstances that led to these Eastern European girls ending up here in these situations.

Can’t they have 4 wives? Why would they need a mistress?

Not common to have more than one due to social pressures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the wife doesn't care, why should I or anyone else?

I think most of the wives do care but they feel like they don’t have a choice. In most of these countries a woman can’t support herself financially with a regular job like here, so they put up with stuff we don’t in the US.

[Anonymous]

My ex H is from South America. A wealthy family. His dad’s dad had a long time mistress. 7 or 8 kids with the wife, 2 kids with the mistress. The mistresses kids are treated like family, but I’m not sure if it’s totally equal, as an outsider it’s hard to get the nuances. I do know it’s considered normal and not shocking.

So when my ex and l were having relationship issues and didn’t have sex for a long time (it wasn’t due to me losing my libido, l was just really pissed at him so was not up for it), he suggested that he get a “friends with benefits”. To him it was normal. I told him his grandmother and women like her didn’t have a choice but l did and hell no. He actually agreed with me later after thinking about it - she didn’t have a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the wife doesn't care, why should I or anyone else?

I think most of the wives do care but they feel like they don’t have a choice. In most of these countries a woman can’t support herself financially with a regular job like here, so they put up with stuff we don’t in the US.

Multiple marriages are only needed where extra marital affairs aren't acceptable due to religious or societal pressure, neither is a problem here.

[Anonymous]

It’s a form of Sister Wives. Gross for both women involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a form of Sister Wives. Gross for both women involved.

What’s “gross” about it, *if* (and that’s the qualifier) the women in question aren’t pressured? I can see the potential benefits of being in a constented plural marriage or relationship. The

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a form of Sister Wives. Gross for both women involved.

What’s “gross” about it, *if* (and that’s the qualifier) the women in question aren’t pressured? I can see the potential benefits of being in a constented plural marriage or relationship. The

Because it's in a work context and causes social awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Multiple marriages were actually meant for times when religious suppression, wars, famine and infectious diseases use to wipe out able bodied men and widows with children needed protection and support. Also to stop moral corruption of having affairs but not providing those women and children any rights.

Times have changed but corrupt men still take advantage of loopholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a form of Sister Wives. Gross for both women involved.

What’s “gross” about it, *if* (and that’s the qualifier) the women in question aren’t pressured? I can see the potential benefits of being in a constented plural marriage or relationship. The

It's misogynistic behavior. I would not want to be a woman on either side of that situation: the wife or the mistress.

"Gross" is correct!