Need some help dealing with abusive mother.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located? Does your DH have an EAP through his work? I know with the feds, family members can also utilize EAP.

[Anonymous]

I think as people have babies at older ages, it'll be more common not to know your grandparents growing up. My grandparents all died before I was very old. I'm glad I knew them, but they weren't such a huge part of my life that i would have been lost without them, if that makes sense. Your mother sounds like a truly horrible woman who shouldn't be in your life or your son's. Don't feel a bit of guilt about cutting her out of the picture.

[Anonymous]

Just another word of support in cutting her off. She has bullied you into believing on some level that you owe her something and you do not, You need to protect your son from this individual. Its easy to get caught up in the fantasy of the loving grandparents and extended family but this fantasy will not be the case with this woman. You are not a bad person for ending contact, you are being a good mom.

[Anonymous]

More support - she's mentally ill, but not your problem. It would be very generous to contact elder services to give them a heads up - even an anonymous heads up, but it is not up to you to manage her treatment.

Agree that cutting her off entirely is in your family's best interest. Without her dark cloud reigning over you, you will be a better person, mom, wife and friend. All this emotional energy wasted on dealing with her! And, I completely agree that you should step back and ask yourself whether you would allow anyone not related you treat you this way. Probably not. If someone treated your child the way she treated you, that person would be in jail, right, and never, ever be allowed to see your kid?

I know we get a little more leeway when dealing with our families - sometimes I'm crabby towards my parents and husband in ways that I wouldn't be with others, but what you've described goes way beyond the leniency even family members are allowed.