Boyfriend lied about HSV2 exposure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little off-topic - but why would you have opted NOT to get tested for HSV as part of STI testing given how prevalent it is?

From my understanding HSV1 and or 2 in the genitalia are so common that there is no reason to test. The assumption is that everyone has it.

But everybody doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little off-topic - but why would you have opted NOT to get tested for HSV as part of STI testing given how prevalent it is?

From my understanding HSV1 and or 2 in the genitalia are so common that there is no reason to test. The assumption is that everyone has it.

But everybody doesn't.

Yes, because the statement “The assumption is that everyone has it” is false.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a huge deal breaker. If he never had an outbreak (which is not uncommon), then he likely sees himself as one of the lucky people who have it but do not transmit it. I am not 100% sure on this, but if you have no symptoms and do not have outbreaks, I don't think it's very easily transmitted. so he probably rationalized it as not having it, and didn't want to risk losing you by saying that he had it.

This would be somewhat of a red flag for me but not a dealbreaker. Most people are not 100% honest 100% of the time, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's a huge deal breaker. If he never had an outbreak (which is not uncommon), then he likely sees himself as one of the lucky people who have it but do not transmit it. I am not 100% sure on this, but if you have no symptoms and do not have outbreaks, I don't think it's very easily transmitted. so he probably rationalized it as not having it, and didn't want to risk losing you by saying that he had it.

This would be somewhat of a red flag for me but not a dealbreaker. Most people are not 100% honest 100% of the time, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

It's absolutely transmittable even if a person doesn't have outbreaks. But chances of transmission increase with number of sex acts: there is published data in "persons months" terms: will take a year of sex with condom to get herpes from infected partner with 20% chance; a few months with 100% chance if n no condom used etc. it's pretty easy to test (CVS sells a test box and Labcorp would do it with high precision). Only 10% men and 14% women have it, so it's absolutely not "everyone has it" decease.

For sure most people who date wouldn't want this exposure WHILE CASUALLY DATING. If it's a long term relationship or someone really serious about you, they need to disclose and manage the decease by taking anti-virals to prevent transmission

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little off-topic - but why would you have opted NOT to get tested for HSV as part of STI testing given how prevalent it is?

From my understanding HSV1 and or 2 in the genitalia are so common that there is no reason to test. The assumption is that everyone has it.

But everybody doesn't.

Yes, because the statement “The assumption is that everyone has it” is false.

PP probably confused it with HPV which 50-70% people would have at least once in a lifetime. But it washes out on its' own, so percentage of people with active transmittable HPV at a given time is actually much lower