How physically attracted are you to your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Together for almost 30 years. I can recognize he is not an unattractive man for his age objectively. But I don’t think either one of us is really attracted to each other anymore. Honestly, our relationship was never really that HOT passion. We were more like really good friends who had sex. Now we’re just like really good friends.

This could be us. I know you feel this way, but I still find you so attractive! 😘

[Anonymous]

No. He is 50, slim and tall with broad shoulders and a good face but he insists on not working out at all and on drinking every night (not enough to be drunk but still - it’s every night without exception) - and after a decade plus of those habits he is a tall thin man with a round pregnant looking belly. I am fit and put effort into my looks so I am resentful but he is otherwise a pretty good husband and a skilled lover. I’m irritated he won’t even try to take care of his looks.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a yo-yo dieter. When he’s up 20/30 lbs, he’s doughy and has a round face / double chin and I find it pretty hard to find him physically attractive. When he commits (…temporarily) and thins out I suddenly find him quite attractive. Wish he would buckle down and commit though…and he’d also look so nice with some lean muscle, but he’s very lazy physically

[Anonymous]

He’s hot, he’s tall, he runs five-six days a week. I love that his hair is salt and pepper - hotter than when it was dark brown/black. Blue eyes. Amazing in bed. Love his smell. He’s just as attracted to me. And I love hanging out with him.

[Anonymous]

I was never attracted to his body. His mind is very hot though.

[Anonymous]

This sounds crazy but he gained 100 pounds since we met and I am just as physically attracted to him. He has a gorgeous face. Now I know the same would not be true at least for physical attraction if I gained 100 lb!

[Anonymous]

Objectively he’s good looking enough. He’s 6’3” and has a full head of hair and very few wrinkles despite being 43.

But we aren’t really that attracted to each other anymore.

[Anonymous]

Right now? Not one bit. He's being an jerk, and that's a turn-off.

[Anonymous]

Way attracted! He may be a grandfather but he’s still got it. It’s not just his looks but he’s the real deal as a husband, father and grandfather.

[Anonymous]

I've never been physically attracted to my husband and I don't like his smell at all. But I do love many of his other qualities, and that is still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel kind of defective when this question is asked. I love my husband, and I like having sex with him. I don’t feel, like, sexually aroused just by looking at him. And he could look a lot different (gain/lose weight, lose his hair, have some kind of maiming physical injury), and I would still like having sex with him about the same amount.

No, you are normal. Men are inherently gross unless they are built like Adonis. Women are visually arousing. And I'm a hetero cis woman.

I'd like to kindly suggest that you may want to reconsider how hetero you really are.

I’ve never been physically aroused just by looking at women either. And I haven’t really been turned on by women the few times I’ve been in bed with other women, whether it’s been a group thing or just two of us.

I don’t know if this is abnormal. I don’t really feel physically attracted to anyone unless they are physically touching me, and then it has hardly anything at all to do with what they look like.

[Anonymous]

Yes. He’s in his 50’s with great hair that’s starting to grey a little. He’s tall, very fit, a good dresser (although I would make some tweaks here) is well endowed and very giving in bed. And, he’s a white collar guy with an MBA but he grew up on a farm and can literally fix anything - cars, air conditioners, sump pumps, plumbing, etc. Not sure why I find that sexy but I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Mid 40s, 20 years.

+1