How bad to consider taking the oldest kid on a special trip over thnxgvg if the younger one is too little to notice?

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn't do London and be away for Thanksgiving - it's such a big trip, and your 6 year old won't really realize how special it is, and I woudn't be away from the rest of the family for Thanksgiving, which is a major holiday about family. I would still do a trip - I'd do New York Fri-Wednesday, maybe take the train as that will be an adventure, stay someplace fancy (the Plaza? read Eloise?) and get out of there Thanksgiving day.

You get theater, you get teas, and maybe go to the Cloisters or something to get sort of castle-y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't do London and be away for Thanksgiving - it's such a big trip, and your 6 year old won't really realize how special it is, and I woudn't be away from the rest of the family for Thanksgiving, which is a major holiday about family. I would still do a trip - I'd do New York Fri-Wednesday, maybe take the train as that will be an adventure, stay someplace fancy (the Plaza? read Eloise?) and get out of there Thanksgiving day.

You get theater, you get teas, and maybe go to the Cloisters or something to get sort of castle-y.

What? No, go to London!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's fine, but don't make a habit of it. If you keep doing things like this during their childhood, they might be willing to overlook when they're growing up. They're remember when they're adults, and will hold it against you.

I mean, sure, don't make a habit of doing special things with just one kid but presumably as the 2 year old grows older she will also get a chance to do special things/trips/ whatever that suit her interests.

[Anonymous]

This is going to be a beautiful core memory for your oldest. Do it!

You need to tell the 2year old that you’re going on a trip and she’s going to go see family with daddy. As long as you and your husband talk about it positively she wont care that you’re gone. By next year I doubt she’ll remember. But please keep in mind that you should also go on these solo mother daughter trips with your youngest as she gets older. Make sure she gets a cool trip when she’s 6 too.

[Anonymous]

Op here: of course I would also do a special trip with my little one when she's a bit older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: of course I would also do a special trip with my little one when she's a bit older.

Then go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two DDs ages 6 and 2. Older DD has the whole week of Thanksgiving off school. I've been wanting to plan a special mother-daughter trip with her anyway while the 2yo is still too young to really understand. Is it "bad mom" to consider taking older DD to London the week of thanksgiving? She is very into theater, castles, and tea parties right now and we have a flight credit to use by the end of the year. DH and DD2 could drive to his brothers and stay that weekend with his parents, brother, SIL, and same age toddler cousins. DD2 is close to all of them and my in laws have been caring for her 2x a week since she was an infant. The kids don't really care about thanksgiving yet (as far as the actual food/meal) but I still feel guilty for considering this.

Thoughts?

Go for it. Wish you were my mother.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like both kids are getting a special 1:1 trip that's perfect for their stage of development!

I'd do it, even if my youngest was old enough to notice, and then at some point in the next 16 years, plan a 1:1 trip to another country with your youngest.

In a lot of families with a decent sized age gap there will be things that the oldest does when they are young that the youngest is too young for, and there will be trips that the oldest misses because they are off to college, and it will all even out.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. My DH took our older one off on trips at least twice. Younger did not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did a trip with my 4 year old for about 4 days when the younger one was 1. We also had some points and the 4 year old really wanted to go on a plane since they hadn’t (that they could remember) because of covid. It was really nice and if I’m being honest a little weird to be without other two family members. But I think a special trip like that, particular to your older child’s interests sounds special. And I will probably do another solo trip aligned with interests with my oldest in a couple years and then also with my youngest when he is at a more fun traveling age.

Just do something special with the younger when they are 6!

Do something special with the younger when there is something special to do. Do not get into the whole everything is exactly equal for both kids.