DW is cheating…Should I cheat in kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi guys,

I want tips on how to live in the same house with a cheating spouse who thinks I am clueless and who I think is currently in love with the AP.

I won’t lie but this is really affecting my pride because she probably thinks I am stupid and clueless and she ia getting away with it.

The thing is for financial reasons divorcing her right now will hurt me more than her. And frankly I just don’t have the financial means to go through a contested divorce. But the divorce is coming just not right now.

So in the meantime what I can do to get back at her? I thought of responding in kind by getting an affair partner as well but this is not who I am.

We are already not sleeping in the same bed. And we are not having sex either.

I feel like divorcing her will be rewarding her because me being the sole provider she will end up with a nice alimony. We have twin boys who are 10.

If you are in Virginia hire a PI to prove the affair and sue her for an at-fault divorce. She won’t get alimony and you might get more than half the assets.

This. VA penalizes adultery. Talk to a lawyer and figure out how to keep your side clean.

It only penalizes the person who might receive alimony if caught with irrefutable evidence. It does not matter if somebody is cheating if that person would be the person who’s paying alimony in the situation. If the higher earning spouse is cheating, it doesn’t matter. It only matters if the cheaters the person who would potentially receive alimony, because then they would not receive it if it was caught.

All of which appears to be OP’s situation I think.