Difficult time dealing with spouse on common sense

[Anonymous]

I let my kids use those fat baby q-tips. And I did buy face soap for my 10yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I have been together for over eight years. We have one child. In the last 4-5 years we start disagreeing on everything. Even something as simple as teaching how best to learn spelling words or solving basic math. Worse, we even disagree on how to clean dishes! I don't get it. We were never this way in the first 3-4 years of our relationship. My spouse will disagree with me even on subjects where I have 20-25 years professional experience in.

I brought up the subject this week and asked where all this animosity is coming from. All I received was denial of any animosity. I know my spouse is insecure about certain things and it's been admitted during honest conversation (rarely occurs). But, having disagreements on how to raise our kid regarding the most basic of things is crazy to me.

Example: I want our child, who is nine, to learn how to wash their face with water and soap so when they get older they do it as a habit. My spouse doesn't think it's important (and our child plays sports four days a week) and just wiping your face is more than fine. Another example is something as silly as Q-Tips. I want our child to use one each night so it become a habit. My spouse does not, saying they only need to be used 1-2 a week. Yet, our child will come and show us balls of wax in their ear...which would never happen if ears were cleaned every night as a routine.

Is this insecurely multiplied x100? Do spouses disagree this much on common sense items?

It’s common sense that you shouldn’t use Q-tips in your ears. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree that it is important for your son to learn how to wash 🧼 his face w/soap + water now (especially if he is playing sports) so as he approaches adolescence, he does not have to deal w/acne as many teens do.

However I have to disagree w/your opinion that your son needs to clean inside his ears using a Q-tip.

Reason being is that using a Q-tip can push the wax further into the ear canal.
It may also damage the ear drum if done improperly.

The general rule is to never put something smaller than your elbow into your ears.
……………………………………………………………………….
You and your spouse have differences of opinion in many situations.

Perhaps you should both attend counseling services w/a therapist who specializes in communication techniques for married couples.
This may help you and your hubby both in learning effective methods to use when you both disagree on so much.

Hope this helps out.
And good luck to you both too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I have been together for over eight years. We have one child. In the last 4-5 years we start disagreeing on everything. Even something as simple as teaching how best to learn spelling words or solving basic math. Worse, we even disagree on how to clean dishes! I don't get it. We were never this way in the first 3-4 years of our relationship. My spouse will disagree with me even on subjects where I have 20-25 years professional experience in.

I brought up the subject this week and asked where all this animosity is coming from. All I received was denial of any animosity. I know my spouse is insecure about certain things and it's been admitted during honest conversation (rarely occurs). But, having disagreements on how to raise our kid regarding the most basic of things is crazy to me.

Example: I want our child, who is nine, to learn how to wash their face with water and soap so when they get older they do it as a habit. My spouse doesn't think it's important (and our child plays sports four days a week) and just wiping your face is more than fine. Another example is something as silly as Q-Tips. I want our child to use one each night so it become a habit. My spouse does not, saying they only need to be used 1-2 a week. Yet, our child will come and show us balls of wax in their ear...which would never happen if ears were cleaned every night as a routine.

Is this insecurely multiplied x100? Do spouses disagree this much on common sense items?

Those are bad examples but I get what this mom is saying. She is wanting to build in her children the daily skills of simple self-care/good habits that her child can do while it sounds like her DH doesn't give a F and argues the opposite point. My DH is similar and it is annoying.

[Anonymous]

OP here. For those who disagreed on "common sense".

1. Yes, our pediatrician stated our child should clean ears at least 4-5 times a week due to playing sports outdoors regularly. On weeks the ears are not cleaned balls of wax are found inside the ears.

Also, for those saying kids don't know how to use Q-tips...it's called teaching them. That's a lost art these days with lazy parents. On top of that we use the ones which are a budge so the tip cannot go into the inner ear. Regardless, it is easy to each a child to clean. Too many parents are lazy and don't care to teach anymore.

2. Anyone who plays sports or sweats (expertise, etc) needs to actually wash a face with some sort of soap to remove bacteria, grind, etc. You can't just use soap. Plus, our child isn't a toddler. In a couple years it'll be middle school.

[Anonymous]

TIL that most people don’t use q-tips to clean their ears?! How the hell do you clean them, then? I agree that kids probably shouldn’t use them, but an adult who can’t figure out how to safely manipulate q-tips probably shouldn’t be driving, either.

[Anonymous]

What an exhausting relationship you have.