Ex told DC our financial arrangment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married to my children's father but I work PT and he WAY outearns me. Our kids (similar age to OP's) are perfectly aware that it is Daddy's job that affords us our very nice life. They also understand that Mom and Dad share money evenly and that Mom's schedule is what allows the kids to have their own lives despite Dad's schedule.

You constantly post here and this isn't relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has always known the split. My significant other's were not told, and wow are they damaged by it. Kids don't like things being hidden from them.

OP only cares because she is paying less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I wouldn't do that. ExDH and I agreed we wouldn't make finances our kids' issue. We just assured them college would be paid for, and all their wants would be covered and some of their needs. If they asked for specifics like "how much child support do you get/give for me" we both said "You don't need to know the details." Our oldest kid is 29 and he still has no idea which of us paid for what.

all their wants and some of their needs

My kid would love this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you living off the exes salary?

Do you think that would make it more or less appropriate to conceal the salary?

For example, my ex doesn't pay anything for our child. Not a penny. He also is not involved in her life in most other ways. They talk a few times a year, at his preference. Should I pretend that he is contributing more than he is? Should I conceal how much I make or lie to her about the reality of him paying no child support?

With you, and good job

[Anonymous]

That is pretty dam luxurious to say "college will be paid for."

[Anonymous]

I knew my parents' arrangement since I was 16, and I don't think it was harmful for me to know. It was an 80/20 split of child-related expenses (my dad had to pay more because he was keeping the house, to make it work out even). I liked knowing that if something expensive came up, it wouldn't be overly burdensome to my mom.

I don't think 12 is really age-appropriate, but if your child was told the truth I don't think it's especially harmful that they know.

[Anonymous]

Are you somehow ashamed that you can afford less? Are you afraid that your co-parent will use this information against you, to bribe your child?

Because I'm in the "more info is better" category. My kids have always know our financial picture, from when they were in elementary.