Why does my mom lie about small things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a petty obvious lie and store bought desserts suk and are loaded with sugar.

Homemade desserts also can suck and be loaded with sugar. If someone knows they can’t cook, I’ll take the one from the bakery and smile politely when they pass it off as their own.

I think culturally supporting lying in any form is an issue of a bigger societal challenge. Normalizing it can be toxic and damaging. Not saying yell at someone, but being a truth teller is what keeps our fabric woven and not frayed.

I can’t take this response seriously. Her mom said she made a dessert that she didn’t make. Ffs.

I was speaking more to the multiple postings using the phrase 'little white lies'. Not all people believe in this notion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a petty obvious lie and store bought desserts suk and are loaded with sugar.

Homemade desserts also can suck and be loaded with sugar. If someone knows they can’t cook, I’ll take the one from the bakery and smile politely when they pass it off as their own.

I think culturally supporting lying in any form is an issue of a bigger societal challenge. Normalizing it can be toxic and damaging. Not saying yell at someone, but being a truth teller is what keeps our fabric woven and not frayed.

I can’t take this response seriously. Her mom said she made a dessert that she didn’t make. Ffs.

OP says her mom has started lying about a lot of small things. In that case, the issue is the repeated lies, not what they are about.

It is disconcerting and frustrating to have someone in your life who lies to you often, about anything. I had a friend like this once and eventually I bailed even though her lies were not serious at all (about at the level of claiming to have baked a store bought dessert). But they were frequent and obvious, and when I was call them out, usually by just being genuinely confused at the many small contradictions in things she'd tell me, she'd double down and be adamant that she was telling the truth even when I knew for certain she was not.

It makes it impossible to have a mutually respectful and trusting relationship. Frequent lying, even about tiny things, is very corrosive.

[Anonymous]

My mom has always done this. Lies that are known lies in the presence of people who know they are lies (either they didn’t do or witness what she’s saying, or it’s just obvious) and it’s so odd because they almost always amount to things that are totally inconsequential.

The poster who said attention seeking behavior caused by insecurity seems spot on. In my mom’s case she also lies to avoid conflict, and often times it’s not necessary or baffling (saying she has a lunch to attend to get out of something when the real reason is her car is in the shop…equally valid reasons).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a petty obvious lie and store bought desserts suk and are loaded with sugar.

Homemade desserts also can suck and be loaded with sugar. If someone knows they can’t cook, I’ll take the one from the bakery and smile politely when they pass it off as their own.

I think culturally supporting lying in any form is an issue of a bigger societal challenge. Normalizing it can be toxic and damaging. Not saying yell at someone, but being a truth teller is what keeps our fabric woven and not frayed.

Hard disagree. I can’t imagine deciding I know enough about what another person does or thinks to call them out on what I perceive as a lie, especially if it’s inconsequential. If it can hurt someone, sure. If it’s a deliberate, ill intentioned lie that involves plotting and scheming, maybe then.

Calling out liars doesn’t generally make people stop lying. It often makes them feel the need to lie harder, either to maintain the story or to make future things they say more believable with better lies. Most lies like this seem to be what they think the other person wants to hear or what they think will impress someone. They’re not usually malicious. Shaming people who are already insecure, embarrassed by the truth, in cognitive decline, or have mental illness/personality disorders isn’t usually helpful, especially if it’s public shaming. If you must point out their flaws, I hope you do it privately.