Fighting at the very last day of vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH picked this city as family vacation, and he just wanted to enjoy vacation. I was the one looking for flights, hotels, tickets for paid admissions, daily plan etc. Kids also looked forward to this vacation. Kids are handy, but things have been so far so good until tonight which is the last day of vacation. What happened was 1 kid ate 2 crackers against DH's not to eat snack order, and the reason behind was that we were about to head out to eat dinner after my shower. I and 2 kids went to the hotel pool before dinner ,and 1 kid got hungry and ate snacks while I was showering. Once I was done of showering and came out, and all I heard was DH's yelling at 1 kid about his behavior, not listening and how unhappy and unenjoyable this vacation was, how regretable that he had kid, and he would definitely kick him out of house at age 18 etc. He said we could go on with our dinner plan and be a happy family without him and he would not join us to have dinner. It was agreed that he goggled/picked dinner restaurant choice while I took kids to play at hotel pool.

I was furious that that's how our vacation ended on the last day, and I asked him a few times if he really meant that and so. It was dead silence and cold war. Anyways, long story short, no one had dinner and everyone just went to bed with hunger. The youngest, age 3, got freaked out a bit, and she fell asleep by herself. The kid that got in trouble was the oldest, age 7. Kids are young, so I planned our family vacation with zoo, aquarium, kid museum, hotel pool, and some playground time. I told him about that in advance, and he never commented it was bad idea. He hate pool and beach, so we don't do beach trip and he never go to hotel pool/swimming pool with kids ever. I know he regrets to have kids because kids are handful and life/vacation is not fun anymore compared to childless life. What did I do wrong at vacation that we deserve to have no dinner like this? He is a jerk, right? I was mad for everything, and I could not take kids out to dinner under those atmosphere or to make things worse.

I would have taken kids to dinner. He needs professional help to act like that about a cracker!

[Anonymous]

Ditch your lame husband and take the 2 kids to the hotel restaurant for dinner. Duh.

[Anonymous]

If my husband ever told any of my kids he regrets having them even in anger I would leave him. Your poor poor child, please be there for him and help him out. He needs to be kept safe from his father.

[Anonymous]

Recap:

What happened was 1 kid ate 2 crackers against DH's not to eat snack order

all I heard was DH's yelling at 1 kid about:

-his behavior, not listening
- how unhappy and unenjoyable this vacation was;
- how regretable that he had kid,
- and he would definitely kick him out of house at age 18 etc.

OP -- what was the "etc" your husband told his 7 year old child?

- He said we could go on with our dinner plan and be a happy family without him and he would not join us to have dinner.

Please understand - your husband's rant to your child was incredibly emotionally abusive. You must protect your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son ate 2 crackers, so your husband told him that he wishes he was never born, and you just put the kids to bed without dinner? These kids are going to have major issues to work through as adults.

This whole thing is bizarre OP. Your dh has some behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand your post. Is this correct? Your husband got angry your 7 yo ate crackers and said he was out at 18 etc. Then he said you should go to dinner without him. But you started the fight again and no one ate?

Why didn’t you take the kids for food, out without your husband and then come back late so they could go right to bed? I would do anything to keep peace for the kids on the last day and then deal with the marital issues and his parenting issues when we got back home.

[Anonymous]

Why did OP refuse to feed the kids after STBX told them to go eat without him?

[Anonymous]

I would have told that man to F off, that I was leaving to go to dinner with the kids and he should be gone when we get back. OP, yes, your husband is a jerk but you did a lot wrong here. It's sad that you can't see that.

[Anonymous]

A word is dead
by Emily Dickinson
A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day

OP. When I was 7 years old one of my sistesr told me that my being born killed our mother. I asked .my father if this was true and he assured me that it wasn't. She was punished but I carried that guilt very long time.

Words hurt and verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand your post. Is this correct? Your husband got angry your 7 yo ate crackers and said he was out at 18 etc. Then he said you should go to dinner without him. But you started the fight again and no one ate?

Why didn’t you take the kids for food, out without your husband and then come back late so they could go right to bed? I would do anything to keep peace for the kids on the last day and then deal with the marital issues and his parenting issues when we got back home.

It’s confusing. I thought the dad said they should go out to dinner without the seven year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand your post. Is this correct? Your husband got angry your 7 yo ate crackers and said he was out at 18 etc. Then he said you should go to dinner without him. But you started the fight again and no one ate?

Why didn’t you take the kids for food, out without your husband and then come back late so they could go right to bed? I would do anything to keep peace for the kids on the last day and then deal with the marital issues and his parenting issues when we got back home.

It’s confusing. I thought the dad said they should go out to dinner without the seven year old.

I would divorce a man who was going to make a child go without dinner because he ate two crackers!

[Anonymous]

OP -- what does this line from your post mean: "I could not take kids out to dinner under those atmosphere or to make things worse." ??? Were you fearful about your DH's reaction upon your return if you had gone out?

This whole post is deeply upsetting; please seek professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg. Can’t believe you let kids go to bed hungry. Making that choice for yourself I understand. But you are the parent. You need to take care of your kids’ needs, both physical and emotional/mental. You feed them dinner, you tell them how much they are loved and that their dad is completely in the wrong.

I’m so sad for your kids right now. They don’t deserve this.

+1 you presumably chose to have children with this horrible man so you no longer get to play the victim. Grow up, be a responsible parent and leave your abusive spouse for their sakes. Otherwise you could very well end up with your children being taken away from you or them choosing to cut ties when they’re older because you failed to protect them and prioritize their needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let a 3 year old and 7 year old go to bed hungry? While on vacation no less??

This is really f*cked up. What is wrong with you and your husband? You let your kids go hungry and your husband threatened to kick your 7 year old out of the house at 18 because he ate a few crackers before dinner. You need to get back to basics and stop being abusive to your children. You need a therapist, not a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH picked this city as family vacation, and he just wanted to enjoy vacation. I was the one looking for flights, hotels, tickets for paid admissions, daily plan etc. Kids also looked forward to this vacation. Kids are handy, but things have been so far so good until tonight which is the last day of vacation. What happened was 1 kid ate 2 crackers against DH's not to eat snack order, and the reason behind was that we were about to head out to eat dinner after my shower. I and 2 kids went to the hotel pool before dinner ,and 1 kid got hungry and ate snacks while I was showering. Once I was done of showering and came out, and all I heard was DH's yelling at 1 kid about his behavior, not listening and how unhappy and unenjoyable this vacation was, how regretable that he had kid, and he would definitely kick him out of house at age 18 etc. He said we could go on with our dinner plan and be a happy family without him and he would not join us to have dinner. It was agreed that he goggled/picked dinner restaurant choice while I took kids to play at hotel pool.

I was furious that that's how our vacation ended on the last day, and I asked him a few times if he really meant that and so. It was dead silence and cold war. Anyways, long story short, no one had dinner and everyone just went to bed with hunger. The youngest, age 3, got freaked out a bit, and she fell asleep by herself. The kid that got in trouble was the oldest, age 7. Kids are young, so I planned our family vacation with zoo, aquarium, kid museum, hotel pool, and some playground time. I told him about that in advance, and he never commented it was bad idea. He hate pool and beach, so we don't do beach trip and he never go to hotel pool/swimming pool with kids ever. I know he regrets to have kids because kids are handful and life/vacation is not fun anymore compared to childless life. What did I do wrong at vacation that we deserve to have no dinner like this? He is a jerk, right? I was mad for everything, and I could not take kids out to dinner under those atmosphere or to make things worse.

I predict all of your children will happily leave before 18. Your husband is a controlling abusive *ss. Those poor kids. 😞