How long can I ethically date him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We are already exclusive, each of us is naturally monogamous as a requirement for sex. Time with him is better than time spent alone. However, a deeper commitment would I think be derailed by some of the things I am starting to see. It has only been a month. He is kind and I do not want to hurt him.

You sound delusional, OP. You've only been dating for a single month and you already think he's not good enough for you??? Dream on.

Actually you sound delusional. If everyone made a long term commitment to everyone they go on a few dates with there would be non dating at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

Interesting how much this bothers people, but he had plenty of time to find someone before me, and has not, whereas he is pretty taken with me, however much you don’t want to believe it. Sad that you think the man must automatically be bringing more to the table.

[Anonymous]

These responses are so silly. Women age. So do men. Locking someone down now is no protection against future abandonment.

[Anonymous]

8 months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

Interesting how much this bothers people, but he had plenty of time to find someone before me, and has not, whereas he is pretty taken with me, however much you don’t want to believe it. Sad that you think the man must automatically be bringing more to the table.

OK.

Well you have plenty of time to find someone betrer than him, but you are choosing to settle until better comes along.

Who tells you he is not doing the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are so silly. Women age. So do men. Locking someone down now is no protection against future abandonment.

Except that is exactly what OP wants to do: lock this man down since she does not want to alone. And then she will hetlrry off as soon as the future looks brighter. If it doesn't, she will stay.

He is her plan B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

Interesting how much this bothers people, but he had plenty of time to find someone before me, and has not, whereas he is pretty taken with me, however much you don’t want to believe it. Sad that you think the man must automatically be bringing more to the table.

+1

The PP you're addressing in the post above is pitifully sexist and negative. Must be projecting hard. Sad indeed.

[Anonymous]

IMO in order to be ethical you need to be honest and if he wants to continue spending time with you afterward, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

Interesting how much this bothers people, but he had plenty of time to find someone before me, and has not, whereas he is pretty taken with me, however much you don’t want to believe it. Sad that you think the man must automatically be bringing more to the table.

OK.

Well you have plenty of time to find someone betrer than him, but you are choosing to settle until better comes along.

Who tells you he is not doing the same?

Why does this matter? He has been looking much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO in order to be ethical you need to be honest and if he wants to continue spending time with you afterward, so be it.

OP. I agree. We haven’t really gotten to the “where is this going” conversation yet but have been honest so far and will be point blank when we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

You're not "leading him on" OP. To him you're just the current booty call who thinks somehow she is more than that. It actually sounds like you know he's going to dump you for someone younger/tighter/better and it's inevitable, but you want to pretend the end of the relationship is your decision, not his.

Interesting how much this bothers people, but he had plenty of time to find someone before me, and has not, whereas he is pretty taken with me, however much you don’t want to believe it. Sad that you think the man must automatically be bringing more to the table.

OK.

Well you have plenty of time to find someone betrer than him, but you are choosing to settle until better comes along.

Who tells you he is not doing the same?

Why does this matter? He has been looking much longer.

It doesn't. That's the point. It's a problem you are creating in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO in order to be ethical you need to be honest and if he wants to continue spending time with you afterward, so be it.

OP. I agree. We haven’t really gotten to the “where is this going” conversation yet but have been honest so far and will be point blank when we do.

Unless he has initiated a conversation saying he wants a serious relationship with you, you are both free to date others. If he expresses an interest in wanting more, then you tell him and it is up to him whether to continue or look elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I think it is wonderful that a guy in his fifties is still great in bed! 👍🏽

Because many guys in that age range have issues in that area. 🥀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We are already exclusive, each of us is naturally monogamous as a requirement for sex. Time with him is better than time spent alone. However, a deeper commitment would I think be derailed by some of the things I am starting to see. It has only been a month. He is kind and I do not want to hurt him.

By “immature” do you mean:

- he uses video games? Does he go out clubbing every night?

Is he more into his ride, the rims, his posse, than he is into you?

Do you ever see him as “father material” ??

Or would he bolt at the prospect of marrying you? (Like: marrying forever? Forever ever???).

OP. I choose not to share these specific details as I do not want to unintentionally identify him and also, it’s not really the essence of the question. I understand people are pruriently curious, but you will have to accept that a) this is not my information to disclose and b) my opinion (and not yours) about our long-term compatibility in light of these features is what matters IRL.

That is ridiculous.