How long can I ethically date him?

[Anonymous]

Super sweet & into me, attractive, good in bed. Like him a lot and he wants a real relationship, wants emotional involvement/to be there for me. He is wonderful in many ways but am realizing immature in others and sadly I don’t think can make him my long term partner. How long can I ethically continue to date & sleep with him, I really like him and enjoy his company? But know I will almost certainly have to keep looking and want to be fair to us both. Both divorced in our 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super sweet & into me, attractive, good in bed. Like him a lot and he wants a real relationship, wants emotional involvement/to be there for me. He is wonderful in many ways but am realizing immature in others and sadly I don’t think can make him my long term partner. How long can I ethically continue to date & sleep with him, I really like him and enjoy his company? But know I will almost certainly have to keep looking and want to be fair to us both. Both divorced in our 50s.

Be honest with him and then you can 'ethically' date him as long as he wants

[Anonymous]

Is this the same OP that posted about her man being “wishy washy”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same OP that posted about her man being “wishy washy”?

No.

[Anonymous]

So what’s the matter with him?

[Anonymous]

What does he do that is immature in your eyes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super sweet & into me, attractive, good in bed. Like him a lot and he wants a real relationship, wants emotional involvement/to be there for me. He is wonderful in many ways but am realizing immature in others and sadly I don’t think can make him my long term partner. How long can I ethically continue to date & sleep with him, I really like him and enjoy his company? But know I will almost certainly have to keep looking and want to be fair to us both. Both divorced in our 50s.

Be honest with him and then you can 'ethically' date him as long as he wants

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he do that is immature in your eyes?

Yeah, an explanation of this would be helpful. But I would also say that he's in his 50s so whatever it is, isn't going to change. OP is in her 50s and seems to know what she wants. I think OP should be reasonably honest with him and tell him that she doesn't see this going the distance but loves his company and the time they are spending together now. Then she doesn't have to feel guilt. And you're in your 50s! What's the worry about long term anyway? It's not light biological clocks are ticking.

[Anonymous]

I would just keep things light, keep the focus on enjoying each other. Make it clear you aren't looking for anything too serious or long term.

As long as you are honest in your communications about your future intentions, I think it's fine.

[Anonymous]

That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

Then tell him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not an “ethical” problem. Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.

If you're interested in a serious relationship, aren't you also wasting your own time?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask him?

[Anonymous]

It’s called having a friend with benefits.