How did you successfully raise a young adult not influenced by the worst of today’s culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep your kid off social media for as long as you can. Pure poison.

You understand that is impossible and impractical. Social media is a lot more than you think it is.

It's not impossible or impractical. You just have to set a lot of boundaries and be willing to enforce them. It's worth it. Social media is pure poison for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

This was a huge help for us. Especially during the middle school years. DD’s bio dad was mentally ill and a substance abuser. She really benefited from having a friend group where no one was experimenting with drugs or alcohol. They also kept very busy. She racked up 250 hours of community service before 8th grade. Those friends came with her to HS and they added some other girls from religious, but not Christian families. All are A students, leaders in school groups, and living healthy lifestyles. When her bio dad died early in HS, these girls just surrounded her with love and support.

[Anonymous]

Who is paying for phone/internet access? Block sites you don't approve of if they are living under your roof at age 25. Set expectations with regard to whatever it is that is bothering you (dress, language, behavior, etc) since it is your home. If they won't comply or it causes friction between you, seek therapy. And as others have said, there is a crisis of meaning right now. Church, volunteerism, or a skilled trade (if not working) can provide this. You are still the parent. You can still set boundaries & impart your own values/moral compass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

I'm not Christian, but I kind of agree. Kids who go to church just seen to end up living more normal lives

Plenty of other options out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

We raised our children in a UU congregation and that worked too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen, there is some decent advice in here. But if you have a child who has mental health issues that include impulse control problems — you are simply playing an entirely different ballgame than I think most of the responders are playing.

One thing we all have to remember is that we are just parenting around the margins. Some kids are going to have major challenges no matter how “good” the parenting is. And when you have a kid with mental health issues, you simply have to parent way differently than you would have expected.

I have a friend who does all the things listed in this thread, including a robust faith community. Kid #1 is an amazing kid who does all the right things (and happens to be medicated for ADHD). Kid #2 has major mental health issues that will likely eventually include a bipolar disorder diagnosis. They have been through inpatient care, outpatient care, etc. Kid #2 has a high likelihood of ending up in prison, notwithstanding the parents working hard to do all the right things. Some of it is luck of the biochemical draw.

X1000 Parents can screw up their kids by abuse etc. but short of that your kid is who they are and parenting has little influence on their personality. All the parents patting their backs we should just be thankful that our kids don't have mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

We raised our children in a UU congregation and that worked too.

Yep, it instill conscience, choosing right from wrong, there's more to life than you, etc.

A family who prays together stays together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

+1

Ya, like the Duggars, Willises, and si many more. What you see is a fake veneer of societal expectations, and brewing underneath is amazingly toxic.

Religion should never be a tool to manage behavior.

It's a given that the Duggats et al are not the norm and are extremists.

For those of us posters suggesting going to church, its assume OP will look into your run-of the mill church near you - whatever denomination you find a fit.

[Anonymous]

Have a close-knit, loving and functional family. Parents respect and love each other. No abuse, addiction, adultery.

Dedicate your life in raising your kids well and spend quality and quantity time with them.

Talk the talk and walk the walk. Educate them. No social media.

All of this requires time, energy, money and dedication from parents. Your kids need to love, respect and trust you. They need to view you as a mentor and teacher. This is something that is earned. You cannot dictate that your kids become like this.

[Anonymous]

What's all this religious propaganda doing here?

I'm trans and went to church with my family growing up and we no longer speak. I don't believe in god any longer. Straight cisgender people invented a god that allows straight cisgender people to go to heaven and all the people not like them go to hell. That's how you know it's made up. God hates all the people they hate. Religious by the majority for the majority. The majority go to heaven by virtue of being that way. Queer people are supposed to struggle and pray the gay away while the straights get an easy life and go to heaven for literally just existing. Convenient.

To answer the OP's question, you don't raise a 25 year old. They are already raised. Are your parent's still raising you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's all this religious propaganda doing here?

I'm trans and went to church with my family growing up and we no longer speak. I don't believe in god any longer. Straight cisgender people invented a god that allows straight cisgender people to go to heaven and all the people not like them go to hell. That's how you know it's made up. God hates all the people they hate. Religious by the majority for the majority. The majority go to heaven by virtue of being that way. Queer people are supposed to struggle and pray the gay away while the straights get an easy life and go to heaven for literally just existing. Convenient.

To answer the OP's question, you don't raise a 25 year old. They are already raised. Are your parent's still raising you?

NP. My in-laws still occasionally parent my husband, who is in his late 30s. Good parents offer sound advice throughout a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

This is not a solution. Sorry to break it to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's all this religious propaganda doing here?

I'm trans and went to church with my family growing up and we no longer speak. I don't believe in god any longer. Straight cisgender people invented a god that allows straight cisgender people to go to heaven and all the people not like them go to hell. That's how you know it's made up. God hates all the people they hate. Religious by the majority for the majority. The majority go to heaven by virtue of being that way. Queer people are supposed to struggle and pray the gay away while the straights get an easy life and go to heaven for literally just existing. Convenient.

To answer the OP's question, you don't raise a 25 year old. They are already raised. Are your parent's still raising you?

Not all religions require a belief in a god and many faiths embrace the queer community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

Church has a lot of weird anti-social ideas and is indoctrination into magical thinking.