How did you successfully raise a young adult not influenced by the worst of today’s culture?

[Anonymous]

Please no judgment or hate. DC, younger than 25, is overly influenced by the worst of Twitter, etc., and has a vastly different view of what’s acceptable in public, or in our home. We provided consistent guidance throughout their life. Some of it is due to mental health issues and lack of impulse control, but not all. I feel like such a failure.

[Anonymous]

Sorry op.
My oldest is much younger than yours. I wonder about this too. There’s a lot of junk online that is persuasive to people who don’t know enough about the world / all their options.

[Anonymous]

Parenting is done when they are impressionable children, at 25, there is little you can do.

Obvious thing is to convince him to seek therapy, medication or meditation to find some inner peace and strong mental health before focusing on anything else.

I guess a life altering change can be helpful in seeing world differently, like helping him go to Europe for study, english teaching, mission, peace corp or some similar program can remove him from his echo chamber and expose to new experiences.

If that's not acceptable then you can move to a scenic rural area and invite him to move there and start a family business with you. New and calmer environment and exciting new opportunities can help with a mental shift.

As far as blaming yourself, its natural but unproductive. There is only so much parents can do, specially if mental health issues and outside influences are effecting him.

I'm sorry if its too simplistic but that's all I can think of for your situation. I hope someone else can come up with better suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Keep your kid off social media for as long as you can. Pure poison.

[Anonymous]

Go to church.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know… seems like there aren’t enough details here to give advice. What is your opinion of the worst of social media? And, what behavior do you expect to be modeled in your home?

Younger generations are often deemed to push the envelope a little with how they act in society. However, you do want children who can grasp what is appropriate behavior outside the home.

[Anonymous]

Ask someone they respect to have a conversation with them.

[Anonymous]

Due to mental health issues and impulse control? Has your DC had access to a psychiatrist, neuropsychologist assessment, therapist and medication?

Treatment for mental health issues and a professional who offers guidance (more easily accepted than advice from parents), are what kept my kids from going of the rails.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Parenting is done when they are impressionable children, at 25, there is little you can do.

Obvious thing is to convince him to seek therapy, medication or meditation to find some inner peace and strong mental health before focusing on anything else.

I guess a life altering change can be helpful in seeing world differently, like helping him go to Europe for study, english teaching, mission, peace corp or some similar program can remove him from his echo chamber and expose to new experiences.

If that's not acceptable then you can move to a scenic rural area and invite him to move there and start a family business with you. New and calmer environment and exciting new opportunities can help with a mental shift.

As far as blaming yourself, its natural but unproductive. There is only so much parents can do, specially if mental health issues and outside influences are effecting him.

I'm sorry if its too simplistic but that's all I can think of for your situation. I hope someone else can come up with better suggestions.

[/quote]

Send your kid to the military.

[Anonymous]

I think an adult who is overly influenced by social media probably does not have a mature, referential peer group… What are her friends like? Social media can either be consumed literally or via a lens, a context, usually provided by other people their own age. Basically, your DC doesn’t have anyone telling her that the content in social media is a falsified air brushed filtered view of reality. She thinks it’s real. She needs help somehow in changing the lens that she uses to consume it. Therapy might help. A new job with new colleagues, and a new set of friends, would also help.

[Anonymous]

We have young kids. Our neighbors who came out of trailers and are building a dream home by the beach.. they grew up with bad influences. They refused to let their now young adult kids go back to where (they, the parents) started.

(We are neighbors with them while they were building massive wealth, but still in our MC neighborhood).

One strategy they told us .. no food service jobs. That’s it. School is their job. Or other jobs. No food. The drug influences around it were something our neighbors didn’t want to take a chance with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please no judgment or hate. DC, younger than 25, is overly influenced by the worst of Twitter, etc., and has a vastly different view of what’s acceptable in public, or in our home. We provided consistent guidance throughout their life. Some of it is due to mental health issues and lack of impulse control, but not all. I feel like such a failure.

Twitter is a cesspool now and attracting a lot of young men who don't have the skills/context to filter but are looking for meaning, purpose and validation. I think this may be what is going on or I am projecting. I think some of it is personality and that won't change. Some is cultural - he likely is having this thinking validated in the real world in some way. It takes a ton of emotional energy to keep presenting other viewpoints and keeping cool when doing so. It doesn't help that the other parent is clueless and/or doesn't think it is a problem.

All that said, you are not a failure. Sometimes people get drawn into this stuff and it is outside our control, especially the older they are. You are NOT alone.

[Anonymous]

Spend a lot of time with my kids. Introduce them to kids from good families. Don't encourage free Internet use. Habits form a layer of protection.

[Anonymous]

You say you provided consistent guidance, but what else did you have echoing your values? Extended family? Friends and other parents with similar values? Church community? Teachers, coaches, or other mentors? Parents are one part of the equation but you also need a village backing you up.

An adult child has most of the formation already done, but it’s not too late to encourage a solid community of good influences.

The impulse control is another issue that should be professionally evaluated first though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to church.

I'm not Christian, but I kind of agree. Kids who go to church just seen to end up living more normal lives