Should I email the teacher ahead of school starting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

NP here. This seriously never occurred to you that you are one of many? I bet you also want "just a sec" from a coach after every game. Not everything revolves around you.

Of course I know I'm one of many. I've been going to Open House for years. Usually, there are maybe 3-5 kids in the room at a time and a lot of dead air to fill, so me and the teachers have often had 1:1s and small talk during Open House.

But apparently, this is some kind of anomaly and I'm a monster for thinking you can chat with a teacher during Open House.

Now you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

I already feel sorry for your kid's teacher, and hope our kids aren't in the same class.

- a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

I already feel sorry for your kid's teacher, and hope our kids aren't in the same class.

- a parent

You don't have to be a jerk to PP. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

I already feel sorry for your kid's teacher, and hope our kids aren't in the same class.

- a parent

I assure you the feeling is mutual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

I’m a different teacher responding. My admin specifically tells us to deflect / avoid these conversations because we can’t accommodate 5 minutes per family at Open House. It’s really hard to do, and I leave the awkward encounter feeling very rude. I want to show I care, but I don’t have the time!

Honestly, I’m also overwhelmed at Open House and I’m going to forget the conversation. I’d much rather receive an email. I receive 2-3 each year before the year begins, and they actually help me plan. (Where should a particular student sit, what extra supports should I prep, etc.)

Again, this is news to me.

My kids go to a majority black and brown school and unfortunately, there isn’t always a lot of parent turnout for things like this, so teachers are usually excited to connect and converse with parents.

Again these conversations are organic and sometimes imitated by the teachers themselves as they ask me about my kid , their interests, etc. because again, otherwise the teacher is standing around while the few kids mill about the classroom.

But as the overwhelming response has made clear, small talk at open houses is apparently unwelcome. And I’ll make sure to keep my mouth shut and not chit chat with my kid’s teacher going forward since I’ve been educated by posters on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

No, one on one discussions is definitely not a feature of the open house. I'm not a teacher, just a parent who gets so incredibly annoyed by parents like you. Last year my child literally didn't even get to introduce herself to her 5th grade teacher because of "just five minutes" parents like you.
hopefully now that you know better, you'll do better in the future.

+100!! And I have a child with similar issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

No, one on one discussions is definitely not a feature of the open house. I'm not a teacher, just a parent who gets so incredibly annoyed by parents like you. Last year my child literally didn't even get to introduce herself to her 5th grade teacher because of "just five minutes" parents like you.
hopefully now that you know better, you'll do better in the future.

Yeah, like I said, definitely won’t talk to the teacher this year. If she strikes up a conversation with me I’ll let her know it’s not allowed….

You also had to include obnoxious commentary clearly indicating the contrary.
--Not PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can recommend Ness Associates in Silver Spring if you're looking for a full test. This is something they specialize in.

Good luck with the teacher, I hope they're receptive.

Yes! Dr Ness was great—thorough and responsive with her reports, but also very calm and kind with our DD. DD hates being the center of attention, but Dr Ness drew her in and helped her feel empowered and engaged with the testing, rather than scrutinized like a bug under a microscope.

[Anonymous]

Talking about something serious, like a child's behavior problems is not "chit chat".

Making "chit chat" is fine. That would be topics of conversation that anyone there can join in, that don't violate your child's privacy, and that don't carry the expectation that the teacher will remember details on a day when they are seeing many children back to back.

[Anonymous]

My kid isn’t diagnosed with anything other than mild anxiety but I send his teachers an intro email each year that explains that his dad and I are divorced, share custody and are both very involved with school, that he has anxiety that can affect executive functioning, etc. I’ve always gotten very positive responses.

[Anonymous]

Definitely email the teacher once you get the assignment.

To request 504 evaluation you email the principal / counselor and request it. Google for an example of this kind of letter if you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

No, one on one discussions is definitely not a feature of the open house. I'm not a teacher, just a parent who gets so incredibly annoyed by parents like you. Last year my child literally didn't even get to introduce herself to her 5th grade teacher because of "just five minutes" parents like you.
hopefully now that you know better, you'll do better in the future.

+1 And then you have the same parents monopolizing the teacher at Back to School night with their brown-nosing too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

If you are new to MCPS, you should be able to get a meeting together. IF it's anxiety disorder, that's enough for a diagnosis. Get the principal, guidance counselor, and teacher on board to do a 504 ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MCPS admin here - please email your school's principal and counselor. Ask to have a quick 20 - 30min. meeting next week with your child's new teacher - even if it's just over the phone or Zoom. If a meeting isn't possible, at least send an email. The new teacher will appreciate the heads up and any background that you're able to provide.

Parents, please do not bring things like this up at Open House. The teachers are trying to greet all of their new students and don't have the time to give this matter the attention that it deserves.

+1 We are new to MCPS this year and i had so much apprehension about switching to MCPS with so many diagnoses. The principal, counselors and teachers at the new school have been wonderful and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic

[Anonymous]

OP--you may want to post on the special needs forum. they have all been through it and you won't be met with the hostility that's here