Should I email the teacher ahead of school starting?

[Anonymous]

New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

[Anonymous]

Formal testing isn’t required for a 504. You can request a meeting in writing.

[Anonymous]

You should email. Teachers appreciate when they have a heads up and context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

[Anonymous]

Can you get an initial anxiety diagnosis from your PCP and a letter suggesting accommodations? I would do that and get a 504 — it does not have to be info from a specialist (and in theory you can do it without info from your Dr, but I found it helps a lot.)

And yes, definitely give the teacher a heads-up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

[Anonymous]

I think you should email. And I would expect the teacher to be accommodating. What works for your child sounds like best practices. The teacher will want your child to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Email the principal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

[Anonymous]

Definitely email. My kids had IEPs throughout ES. I always emailed their teachers ahead of the 1st day in elementary school. I wanted to assure things started off on a successful note. I also used the opportunity to thank the teacher in advance knowing my kids were extra work and to offer my support in any way needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

NP here. This seriously never occurred to you that you are one of many? I bet you also want "just a sec" from a coach after every game. Not everything revolves around you.

[Anonymous]

I can recommend Ness Associates in Silver Spring if you're looking for a full test. This is something they specialize in.

Good luck with the teacher, I hope they're receptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to MCPS this year. My ES kid (3rd grade) is a great kid, but they are highly highly anxious and struggle with big emotions. We are working on it in therapy and kid is scheduled for a full neuropsych later this year in case it’s something more than just anxiety (we have family with adhd and with autism). Right now we don’t have a diagnosis to do a 504. Kid is pretty good at calming themselves down if they can find a quiet spot alone for a few minutes. I’m worried without a 504 they won’t be able to do so.

I’m thinking about emailing the teacher (once we get the assignments) and giving a heads up about this and asking for accommodation if kid has a breakdown. Will I be perceived as the crazy overbearing Karen mom for doing this or would the teacher appreciate the heads up? My own anxious self is worried for my kid.

Are you planning on going to your school's open house? You can bring it up in person when you meet her then.

Please don’t bring it up at Open House. We (teachers) are not there to have 25 individual mini conferences with everyone. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it is true.

Yes, OP, share the information early. That can be an email or with a hand written note delivered at Open House (“ I know you are busy and this isn’t the appropriate time but there’s some background information I wanted to share. My email is at the bottom if you have any questions or want to talk further.”)
Good luck!

I wasn't suggesting a long, drawn out conversation about it. Just a quick mention: "Hey, just a heads up that we're currently looking at having a full neuropsych done for our kid and we don't have a 504 in place yet, but just wanted to alert you that they're challenged with anxiety and emotional management from time to time." Something like that would take 5 minutes or less, which I've not had any problems doing in the past at Open Houses....

But I think your suggestion of passing the note at the Open House also works.

Right, 5 minutes for you. You are one of 25ish families. If every other parent wants a “quick 5 minutes” there goes the whole hour that should have been dedicated to quick greetings, parents and kids walking around the room together and kids learning some of their new classmates names.
Again, Open House is not for mini-conferences.

.....

Got it. I'll make sure to avoid talking to my kid's teacher at Open House next week then. Didn't realize this was the attitude teachers had toward it. I thought the quick 1:1 interactions at Open House was a feature, not a bug of the event. But I guess not.

You live and you learn.

NP here. This seriously never occurred to you that you are one of many? I bet you also want "just a sec" from a coach after every game. Not everything revolves around you.

Of course I know I'm one of many. I've been going to Open House for years. Usually, there are maybe 3-5 kids in the room at a time and a lot of dead air to fill, so me and the teachers have often had 1:1s and small talk during Open House.

But apparently, this is some kind of anomaly and I'm a monster for thinking you can chat with a teacher during Open House.