DD didn’t make varsity, she’s crushed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let your kid decide.

Should she?

It seems as there is room for improvement on her B and Cs and that should have been the choice made by parents in the first place.

I mean are parents really letting their kids make their own decisions about what to focus on? Shouldn’t it be academics and if the kid has already done all they can for that, then they can decide about extracurriculars?

Assuming no learning issues or medical issues, etc., of course. My kids don’t particularly like school either but maintain their grades and understand that soccer will have to be dropped if their grades slip.

[Anonymous]

She could try to show some grit, work hard, star on JV (where you say she does have a couple of friends) and see if she gets moved up at the end of the season. If not, try something else next year.

[Anonymous]

I would never force a junior to do JV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Um, what?

[Anonymous]

Wow, I could see this going several ways.

My kids go to a very large public high school, and it's hard to make any teams. There are always a few juniors put on JV teams. No one loves it, but some always stick it out.

If she quits, I think she will be blackballed for senior year.

If she quits but runs XC, she might love it, and she'll definitely improve her speed and fitness, if that was an issue.

If she quits and focuses on her grades, that might be the best thing, but if sports are her main social outlet, I understand that this is painful.

Did she get any feedback on why she didn't make varsity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Please elaborate on this statement?

[Anonymous]

Does your daughter plan to go to community college with those grades? She should spend the tear bringing her grades up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Please elaborate on this statement?

DP but many soccer players look down on it as what you do when you can’t make the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Please elaborate on this statement?

I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.

[Anonymous]

It was a blessing for my kid. Coaches were idiots. Program was filled with dysfunction and the coaches really treated students like crap. Nobody could call them on it since they were a winning program, but give me a break. They play schools that are tiny and many of the kids they are up against never played soccer. It wasn’t their main sport. The kids getting soccer scholarships don’t play for the HS and a many that were cut ended up playing at D1 schools.

HS soccer is poor quality and has always been filled with dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Please elaborate on this statement?

I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.

The best athletes play multiple sports. Track and cross country are actually a great cross training complement to Soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

She has a couple good friends that chose not to continue soccer and actually, 2-3 of her friends made the varsity team. She only has a couple friends on the JV team.

My point is this shouldn’t be an issue since her good friends won’t be on JV.

Yes i would agree. Her club should be able to find her some soccer if she's interested. If not let her enjoy the fall season. If she wants to try and make varsity next year maybe spend some time working out or doing ball work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DDs was cut junior year and decided to run cross country instead. She ended up doing really well and went to the state competition with the cross-country team. If she is willing to try running, the new runners end up really improving their times throughout the season. Also, in our school, the team does bonfires and lots of social activities, and since it is co-ed the kids have so much fun. My other DD made varsity as a freshman and high school soccer has just been cutthroat and stressful for her, a much more intense atmosphere than cross country.

This OP. As a former college athlete, I always rather looked down on cross country and track. My DD got fed up with soccer in high school. She was a very athletic kid, but psychologically just couldn't deal with the pressures of soccer anymore and it was making her feel awful. She switched to cross country and track in her senior year and the only regret she had was having not discovered it sooner. So much more supportive. You can kind of pick and choose when you compete on the weekends, if academics need to take priority, and you stay active and fit and off screens for a couple hours each day. I really recommend it. JV as a junior could be pretty demoralizing.

Please elaborate on this statement?

I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.

No they are not complements. They use the same body parts and it's why kids have some many injuries.
The best athletes play multiple sports. Track and cross country are actually a great cross training complement to Soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

She has a couple good friends that chose not to continue soccer and actually, 2-3 of her friends made the varsity team. She only has a couple friends on the JV team.

My point is this shouldn’t be an issue since her good friends won’t be on JV.

IME JV and varsity hang around. But your experience could be different.

FWIW, my kid didn’t make a coveted spot in their sport this year and wanted to quit. I asked for alternative plans that didn’t involve cellphones and other electronics. My kid chose sports because they couldn’t come up with a better plan - and is not disappointed by the choice though still working through feelings.

Varsity and JV don't really hang around.

Anonymous wrote:How is the team? Same thing happened at our school but every game was a blowout- won all games by huge margins—11-0, 5-0, etc. The kids decided the time commitment required for getting zero out of it with a tough academic important year and playing for a strong club team: it would have been pointless and taken time that wasn’t there.

The team is about average - same as the varsity team.

Anonymous wrote:Is she on a club team? If so, I’d just do that and not JV.

No club team. She's not a year around type of player.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

That’s not really fair. Not everyone is capable of As and not every parent has money and transportation for tutoring.

Thank you. Some people have an odd perspective on things.

Without even a club team, she should be happy she made JV.

+1. This is sadly the reality in HS soccer. We only know of 1 who didn’t play club when my son was on JV last year. As a junior, this player didn’t make varsity and was sent back to JV. He was incredibly lucky to make the JV team at all. There are others who play club who didn’t. Now he’s probably quitting which is a shame since he took a spot from another student who would have loved to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s entering 11th grade and she tried out for varsity and she didn’t make it and the coach wants her in JV. She doesn’t want to do it bc some of her friends went to varsity and she doesn’t get along with the JV coach.

I’m honestly supportive of either option - stick out the year or just stop altogether and focus on her studies (which aren’t great - Bs/Cs). I don’t want soccer to be a source of stress for her; I want it to be enjoyable but I fear she’s going to let it get to her (being stuck on JV).

Anyone go through something similar? Looking for advice.

If my kid was having that kind of grades, we wouldn't be talking about something like this. OP, your kiddo needs to focus on improving her grades. Bs/Cs nowadays are terrible grades