DD didn’t make varsity, she’s crushed

[Anonymous]

She’s entering 11th grade and she tried out for varsity and she didn’t make it and the coach wants her in JV. She doesn’t want to do it bc some of her friends went to varsity and she doesn’t get along with the JV coach.

I’m honestly supportive of either option - stick out the year or just stop altogether and focus on her studies (which aren’t great - Bs/Cs). I don’t want soccer to be a source of stress for her; I want it to be enjoyable but I fear she’s going to let it get to her (being stuck on JV).

Anyone go through something similar? Looking for advice.

[Anonymous]

Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

[Anonymous]

How about cross country this year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

She has a couple good friends that chose not to continue soccer and actually, 2-3 of her friends made the varsity team. She only has a couple friends on the JV team.

My point is this shouldn’t be an issue since her good friends won’t be on JV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

She has a couple good friends that chose not to continue soccer and actually, 2-3 of her friends made the varsity team. She only has a couple friends on the JV team.

My point is this shouldn’t be an issue since her good friends won’t be on JV.

IME JV and varsity hang around. But your experience could be different.

FWIW, my kid didn’t make a coveted spot in their sport this year and wanted to quit. I asked for alternative plans that didn’t involve cellphones and other electronics. My kid chose sports because they couldn’t come up with a better plan - and is not disappointed by the choice though still working through feelings.

[Anonymous]

How is the team? Same thing happened at our school but every game was a blowout- won all games by huge margins—11-0, 5-0, etc. The kids decided the time commitment required for getting zero out of it with a tough academic important year and playing for a strong club team: it would have been pointless and taken time that wasn’t there.

[Anonymous]

^to take a JV offer.

[Anonymous]

Same. My kid plays for one of the top area teams so playing JV junior year is ridiculous. It’s a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Is she on a club team? If so, I’d just do that and not JV.

[Anonymous]

Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

That’s not really fair. Not everyone is capable of As and not every parent has money and transportation for tutoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

That’s not really fair. Not everyone is capable of As and not every parent has money and transportation for tutoring.

Maybe the tutoring is not necessary, but additional studying on their own to improve grades is an option. If B & Cs are the best they can do after full on effort by a kid, that’s fine. But if the kid hasn’t even tried to put more effort into their grades, then they have more time to do that now if they step away from sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

That’s not really fair. Not everyone is capable of As and not every parent has money and transportation for tutoring.

Maybe the tutoring is not necessary, but additional studying on their own to improve grades is an option. If B & Cs are the best they can do after full on effort by a kid, that’s fine. But if the kid hasn’t even tried to put more effort into their grades, then they have more time to do that now if they step away from sports.

+100 bring up the Cs. Yikes!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports is a huge friend group in HS. Leaving will change that for her. No advice other than there are unintended consequences of leaving.

She has a couple good friends that chose not to continue soccer and actually, 2-3 of her friends made the varsity team. She only has a couple friends on the JV team.

My point is this shouldn’t be an issue since her good friends won’t be on JV.

IME JV and varsity hang around. But your experience could be different.

FWIW, my kid didn’t make a coveted spot in their sport this year and wanted to quit. I asked for alternative plans that didn’t involve cellphones and other electronics. My kid chose sports because they couldn’t come up with a better plan - and is not disappointed by the choice though still working through feelings.

Varsity and JV don't really hang around.

Anonymous wrote:How is the team? Same thing happened at our school but every game was a blowout- won all games by huge margins—11-0, 5-0, etc. The kids decided the time commitment required for getting zero out of it with a tough academic important year and playing for a strong club team: it would have been pointless and taken time that wasn’t there.

The team is about average - same as the varsity team.

Anonymous wrote:Is she on a club team? If so, I’d just do that and not JV.

No club team. She's not a year around type of player.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bs/Cs?! she should do tutoring after school and not soccer. Junior year is the most important.

That’s not really fair. Not everyone is capable of As and not every parent has money and transportation for tutoring.

Thank you. Some people have an odd perspective on things.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. My preference is for her to bail on soccer and focus on her academics. BEing on JV soccer will just consume so much of her mental energy that she won't be able to focus that on academics. Thanks all for the feedback; I appreciate it!