Hating newborn is this normal- first time mom

[Anonymous]

OP, glad you’re seeking help. You can do this. What you’re going through is hard, but you can do this.

I have a 3 month old. This is my second kid. About 5 weeks after he was born, I had a particularly hard, sleepless night with him and cried inconsolably, thinking that DH and my kids would be better off without me because I’m such a terrible mom. The next day, my OB prescribed Zoloft. I was already working with a therapist.

Two months later, I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I think a combination of Zoloft, sleeping more, my baby getting smilier/happier, and hormones stabilizing have all contributed. The first few months suck for a lot of people. They truly do not last forever. You’re a great mom.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that this is ppd. I also think that there's anxiety and disappointment with yourself fueling resentment of him. Accept you are as a mother. Get the help you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts of hurting your baby puts you squarely in the post-partum depression category. Call your OB tomorrow and ask if you can have the newly approved medication. If not, if doesn't matter, it's a progesterone metabolite, ask for something that mimics it. I had to eat my placenta the second time around to avoid PPD - the placenta is chock-full of progesterone. I'm so glad new mothers have that new med now to help them!

[Anonymous]

OP this sounds like PPD but is also so common and normal. Your OB may not be super helpful and just refer you to a therapist. I found that part too overwhelming and went weeks without help. If that’s true for you please come back and post your insurance and we can crowd source therapists for you!

[Anonymous]

You need help from your doctor and your OBGYN ASAP. Do not hesitate. Seek help. Go to the ER if you need to to be seen by someone who can prescribe you medication and get you in touch with a therapist. I'm really sorry. It's OK. You're not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts of hurting your baby puts you squarely in the post-partum depression category. Call your OB tomorrow and ask if you can have the newly approved medication. If not, if doesn't matter, it's a progesterone metabolite, ask for something that mimics it. I had to eat my placenta the second time around to avoid PPD - the placenta is chock-full of progesterone. I'm so glad new mothers have that new med now to help them!

it's a thing. There are companies who will compound your placenta into pills for a fee, IIRC. I have no idea how you would assure yourself that what you are getting back is both placenta in the pills and your own one, but it is really a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts of hurting your baby puts you squarely in the post-partum depression category. Call your OB tomorrow and ask if you can have the newly approved medication. If not, if doesn't matter, it's a progesterone metabolite, ask for something that mimics it. I had to eat my placenta the second time around to avoid PPD - the placenta is chock-full of progesterone. I'm so glad new mothers have that new med now to help them!

it's a thing. There are companies who will compound your placenta into pills for a fee, IIRC. I have no idea how you would assure yourself that what you are getting back is both placenta in the pills and your own one, but it is really a thing.

Yeah, but there’s no evidence that it helps with anything, it’s potentially dangerous, and it doesn’t help OP at all, since she no longer has access to her placenta…

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/expert-answers/eating-the-placenta/faq-20380880

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sending you love OP! Glad you are reaching out for help.

A lot of us have been there and came out on the other side.

+1

OP, you got this. This is real, and so many of us have been through it. It is hard, but not endless. Gather support, get rest, and be sure to eat. Get whatever you need to get through this - this is your time to heal and do what you can. You are not alone, and by reaching out, you are doing exactly the right thing. Surround yourself with supportive people. We are with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts of hurting your baby puts you squarely in the post-partum depression category. Call your OB tomorrow and ask if you can have the newly approved medication. If not, if doesn't matter, it's a progesterone metabolite, ask for something that mimics it. I had to eat my placenta the second time around to avoid PPD - the placenta is chock-full of progesterone. I'm so glad new mothers have that new med now to help them!

it's a thing. There are companies who will compound your placenta into pills for a fee, IIRC. I have no idea how you would assure yourself that what you are getting back is both placenta in the pills and your own one, but it is really a thing.

Yeah, but there’s no evidence that it helps with anything, it’s potentially dangerous, and it doesn’t help OP at all, since she no longer has access to her placenta…

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/expert-answers/eating-the-placenta/faq-20380880

Yeah, I don't disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call your OB tomorrow. You have post partem depression.

This. It's perfectly normal, but needs to be treated. You can/should get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP fwiw I think we basically ALL get PPD/PPA and it’s just a matter of how much and how much help we need/ask for. Yours needs the attention of your doctor, ASAP. But as far as is it “normal,” YES.

+2
Sometimes it presents as the "baby blues" and sometimes it presents as much more extreme -PPD. Either way it's normal, but it needs to get treated before you act out on your emotions.
The hormonal crash and sleep deprivation exacerbates everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is telling you it’s PPD and it’s brain chemistry. I understand why.

There’s also the chance that you’re simply very unhappy because of a terrible situation. A lot of women dislike having a baby but it’s not socially acceptable to share this. You destroyed your body, can’t go to work, aren’t sleeping well or at all, can’t go to social functions etc…of course you’re unhappy! It’s a major life change and isn’t necessarily a chemical imbalance.

Regardless get help. But not just for PPD. Try to find a sitter, night nurse, anyone who can give you a break, even if it’s short. Even just going for a manicure or a coffee will help your mood. Try to start exercising with the baby as that can help and is a break from holding the baby. Also babies cry and make sure putting the baby down in a safe place even if the baby cries.

I very very very much second this comment. I had (have, but it’s better) a hellaciously bad sleeper and went for months surviving on 1-2 hours broken sleep a night. I loved her but thought about harming my newborn and myself every night. This started when she hit the 4 month sleep regression and never slept again so it wasn’t even hormonal PPD because my hormones had already stabilized. My therapist said I was having a normal reaction to the incredible stress of getting no sleep and having a very high needs baby.

Get help, OP. Night nurses are a godsend and you should hire one tomorrow if sleep isn’t going well. Get time off during the day, too, even if you just use it to sit and do nothing. PPD is real but sometimes having a baby is just unexpectedly hard.

[Anonymous]

Hi Op can you update us? Did you call? Let me know if you need a night nurse and I can connect you with some great ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank everyone, I will call my obgyn tomorrow.

My spouse is with me and I just told him how I am feeling and he also thinks I have PPD.

Good for you, OP. That was brave and smart. Wishing you well.

[Anonymous]

Agree with everything said but wanted to just send a virtual hug because I also had a traumatic birth followed by NICU stay followed by PPD and PPA. Can your spouse let you sleep through the night tonight and take care of night feeds? That's a good first start. Also, a helpful thing I was told early on in my PPD journey was to remember that thoughts are just thoughts. The thoughts can't hurt you or your baby. I know they're incredibly scary but they will get better, I promise.