Hating newborn is this normal- first time mom

[Anonymous]

Please be gentle on me.

First time mom here. My birth was very traumatic with unexpected birth and a long NICU stay. Lately I find little joy in taking care of my child and get frustrated easily. I have also had thoughts of hurting him when I am frustrated ex when the baby cries inconsolably. I regret every day I had a baby, which is surprising as I wanted a baby very badly.

I didn't have milk to provide him and I hate that. I wanted that so badly.

I don't know if I am depressed or is this a normal feeling, perhaps a phase?

My child is 10 weeks. I have a very supportive partner yet I feel hopeless.

Please help, should I see a therapist? Any recommendations?

[Anonymous]

Call your OB tomorrow. You have post partem depression.

[Anonymous]

You are depressed and traumatized. It is very common, but it's something that needs help, probably medication and therapy and lifestyle changes (like having you and your partner work out a system where you get more sleep).

You deserve the help, and your child deserves a mom who is functioning better, so call your OB in the morning and say exactly what you've said here.

[Anonymous]

+1 very normal but also very serious and requires treatment, call the doc right away. They see this every day.

[Anonymous]

Call your doctor in the morning. Yes it’s not uncommon to have dark feeling early, also it’s something you need help with right away. It’s likely sleep deprivation, trauma, and hormonal fluctuations. A therapist would be wonderful.

Can someone be with you tomorrow. Is your partner awake now?

[Anonymous]

Thoughts of hurting your baby puts you squarely in the post-partum depression category. Call your OB tomorrow and ask if you can have the newly approved medication. If not, if doesn't matter, it's a progesterone metabolite, ask for something that mimics it. I had to eat my placenta the second time around to avoid PPD - the placenta is chock-full of progesterone. I'm so glad new mothers have that new med now to help them!

[Anonymous]

Sending you hugs, OP.
Hope you can get some sleep.

[Anonymous]

Please call OB first thing. I went through the same thing. NICU and a traumatic birth are hard! I know you want to be the best mom you can be for that precious baby. There is help for you. We are all rooting for you! Please tell your partner what you are experiencing too.

[Anonymous]

Big hugs, OP. I agree with others, call your OB tomorrow. You sound depressed. Lexapro made a world of difference for me postpartum. I had a traumatic birth with my first (and NICU stay) and I also found therapy helpful.

[Anonymous]

Thank everyone, I will call my obgyn tomorrow.

My spouse is with me and I just told him how I am feeling and he also thinks I have PPD.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that you should call your ped about PPD tomorrow. But I will also add: I had a comparatively easy birth and newborn and I was weepy and irritable and stressed until I was able to also at least 5-6 hours in one stretch every night for several nights running. If you have the means to prioritize sleep (have your partner cover nights, get a night nanny, family help, etc) that would be one of the things I would try to do as quickly as you can. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I hope things get easier for you soon.

[Anonymous]

Glad it sounds like you had a support spouse, OP. I hope he can take the overnight shift and help you get rest tonight and get some support. You are brave and an awesome mom for reaching out here.

There are so many wonderful moments for you as a mom that lie ahead. Sending you lots of love.

[Anonymous]

Ear plugs and (spare bedroom if you have one) for you tonight. Take something to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 very normal but also very serious and requires treatment, call the doc right away. They see this every day.

+1 absolutely. You need help OP but so do many people. It will get better with the right resources.

[Anonymous]

Please reach out for help with postpartum depression. I had similar symptoms and wasn’t brave enough to seek help. I so very much wish that I had.

Your baby is lucky to have you.