If you chase after relatives who don’t want to engage—why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were raised with family values.

It’s “family values” to try to get everyone to conform and to talk talk talk with no chance for a breath? It’s “family values” to suck all the air out of the room? I’m so glad my family values calm, individuality, peace, and making everyone feel welcome and valued.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert. I find that my extroverted relatives either don't notice "leave me alone" cues or they don't care. Most extroverts I know think they are doing me a favor by forcing me out of my shell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both in my family and my husband’s family, there are a few extroverted relatives who seriously chase down people who are giving off tons of social cues that they either don’t want to be engaged, or they want to extricate themselves after a few minutes of conversation. As a rather midddle-of-the-road personality, I understand both the extroverts’ desire to connect, and the introverts’ desire to enjoy some quiet time (we’re talking all-day family visits or overnight visits, not just, say, a 2-hour dinner.) I also understand that introverts may prefer 1:1 conversation with a favorite cousin or aunt or uncle, or a sibling, but they wouldn’t enjoy a big group conversation with lots of questions being fired at them.

My question to the extroverts/types who chase people down is: why? If someone is putting out signals that they don’t want to talk, or want a conversation to end, or don’t want tons of questions, why do you pursue them? Why don’t you leave them alone? I say hello to people and if they don’t seem to want to talk, I keep it moving. What is the point of chasing after people? It reminds me of kids who chase the cat under the couch, still trying to pet it—most adults know if you wait and give the cat space, it will come to you. Why are you chasing after the cats?

MONEY.