Keep having kids until a girl is born

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends have 5 girls. The husband was a football star in HS and went to college on a football scholarship. He desperately wanted a boy.

I think 5 girls sounds wonderful. A good friend is one of 5 girls and they are so close to each other and to their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Math puzzle: suppose everyone does this: has babies until they get a girl, and then stop.

Some families have 1 girl. Some have 1 boy and one girl. Some have 2 boys and 1 girl. Etc.

What is the resulting overall ratio of boys:girls across the population?

That's a trick question. It's still 1:1 ratio because each birth is 50/50 random.

Sort of. While that is roughly the birth ratio for the overall population, each individual man/woman pair has different odds.

This couple had 13 boys in a row. No girls, no interventions or gender selections or anything like that.

https://www.cnn.com/2015/05/14/health/feat-michigan-couple-13-sons/index.html

If the odds depend on the parents, then yes the ratio would be different from 1:1. But the odds of having 13 boys in a row isn’t that low. One in every 8000 couples that have 13 kids will have all boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked for an attorney who had five girls. I wondered if she was aiming for a boy but couldn't ask that. (One of the tasks she gave me was to make sure nobody went into her office when she was pumping. I couldn't leave my desk for the bathroom during that time.)

I worked for an attorney who had 4 girls and then a boy. They were definitely trying for the boy.

No personal experience (I'm an eldest with an only) but I would think the family dynamic of being the youngest + only one of your gender is hard. And of course, hard for the middle kids who weren't the desired gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt the parents are saying this in FRONT of said boys.

I was very aware as a young child that my parents really, really wanted their third child to be a boy. They talked about it a lot, and, yes, in front of the two girls they already had. I am sure they aren’t the only parents in history to have done this.

My parents did this and when they got the boy I became superfluous. I always felt a bit unwanted. Kids know whether you tell them or not by the way you behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Math puzzle: suppose everyone does this: has babies until they get a girl, and then stop.

Some families have 1 girl. Some have 1 boy and one girl. Some have 2 boys and 1 girl. Etc.

What is the resulting overall ratio of boys:girls across the population?

~69.5% female (any stats whizz want to check my math?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

No one with a lot of kids wants to hear this, but neglect is common in large families, even those with considerable financial resources. Children do better with more one-on-one time with caregivers, especially parents (nannies do offer good one-on-one time but in very large families even this is shared). At some point in having kids, it is simply not possible to truly know all your kids well. There WILL be a child or children who don't get enough attention or emotional support, and it will screw up that kid.

Certain resources (especially time and attention) are finite. Some families can extend the number of kids they can feasibly have if they have more adults involved (very involved grandparents, for instance) or can really pay for more one-on-one time. So it's not like there's a set number, like don't have more than 2 or don't have more than 4 -- some people can handle those numbers. But there IS a number at which the family will be overtaxed and some or all kids will experience some form of neglect. Thus, having children until you get a specific gender actually is a bad idea, because it will no doubt push people past whatever their particular max on kids is in order to get the girl.

I know of families with 8 or 9 children where the last child is opposite gender of the others -- one or both parents was clearly waiting on their boy/girl. Every one of these families has neglected kids and bad outcomes as a result. It's a terrible idea.

+1
I'm the neglected middle in a family who kept trying for a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

NP here but actually everyone I know that has a huge brood has a bunch of boys and a young daughter. I don't know anyone with 4 girls and 1 boy. This is no longer the 1950s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

I think people who pretend it doesn’t matter are liars.

Got my girl first. I wanted a second and had a slight preference for a boy. It was a girl and I realized my preference was just for a 2nd healthy baby, which is what I got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt the parents are saying this in FRONT of said boys.

My parents said it in front of all five of us girls until they got a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

NP here but actually everyone I know that has a huge brood has a bunch of boys and a young daughter. I don't know anyone with 4 girls and 1 boy. This is no longer the 1950s.

I do. My friend had five girls and finally the desired boy. And yes, they are white American parents, not from any other country.

Downside is she destroyed her body having all those kids, so her dh divorced her after he got his desired boy. Couldn't believe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends have 5 girls. The husband was a football star in HS and went to college on a football scholarship. He desperately wanted a boy.

I think 5 girls sounds wonderful. A good friend is one of 5 girls and they are so close to each other and to their parents.

Oof. I know a family with 5 girls and the dynamic is the complete opposite - so toxic and vicious. The poor parents are going nuts. How old are the girls in the family you’re thinking of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends have 5 girls. The husband was a football star in HS and went to college on a football scholarship. He desperately wanted a boy.

I think 5 girls sounds wonderful. A good friend is one of 5 girls and they are so close to each other and to their parents.

Oof. I know a family with 5 girls and the dynamic is the complete opposite - so toxic and vicious. The poor parents are going nuts. How old are the girls in the family you’re thinking of?

The girls in the family I know are in their 30s. I have two DDs and they make me want to have a whole brood, but alas, I’m old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt the parents are saying this in FRONT of said boys.

I was very aware as a young child that my parents really, really wanted their third child to be a boy. They talked about it a lot, and, yes, in front of the two girls they already had. I am sure they aren’t the only parents in history to have done this.

My parents did this and when they got the boy I became superfluous. I always felt a bit unwanted. Kids know whether you tell them or not by the way you behave.

Exactly. I always knew that they would have preferred a boy to me.

OTOH, when the boy they finally got had serious learning disabilities, suddenly I got all the attention a boy would have received, which really made a difference I think in what I have ended up accomplishing in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

No one with a lot of kids wants to hear this, but neglect is common in large families, even those with considerable financial resources. Children do better with more one-on-one time with caregivers, especially parents (nannies do offer good one-on-one time but in very large families even this is shared). At some point in having kids, it is simply not possible to truly know all your kids well. There WILL be a child or children who don't get enough attention or emotional support, and it will screw up that kid.

Certain resources (especially time and attention) are finite. Some families can extend the number of kids they can feasibly have if they have more adults involved (very involved grandparents, for instance) or can really pay for more one-on-one time. So it's not like there's a set number, like don't have more than 2 or don't have more than 4 -- some people can handle those numbers. But there IS a number at which the family will be overtaxed and some or all kids will experience some form of neglect. Thus, having children until you get a specific gender actually is a bad idea, because it will no doubt push people past whatever their particular max on kids is in order to get the girl.

I know of families with 8 or 9 children where the last child is opposite gender of the others -- one or both parents was clearly waiting on their boy/girl. Every one of these families has neglected kids and bad outcomes as a result. It's a terrible idea.

+1. I don’t know any family with 4-5+ adult children where all children are fully functioning adults with good jobs in emotionally healthy and stable relationships. They all have at least one who is screwed up in some way or estranged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

NP here but actually everyone I know that has a huge brood has a bunch of boys and a young daughter. I don't know anyone with 4 girls and 1 boy. This is no longer the 1950s.

I know two families like that. They are each GGGBG.