How much to push high schooler to keep activity just for college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should push your DC to keep playing music especially if it is the guitar.  Your kid will thank you when he/she goes to college.  Music is a great way to make friends in college.  Keep pushing until the kid finishes high school.

My completely non musical kid picked up the guitar in college. Completely for fun and entirely on his own. I don’t think you can force that kind of thing.

My message to a 9th grader would be that you can quit but you need to do something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Thank you so much everyone for these helpful replies (and DCUM consensus!). We are going to let him stop lessons. We’ll encourage him to consider group playing opportunities at school but not force it. He does have other interests, most of them recent, that he really cares about so that’s good. The instrument is the violin for those wondering.

That sounds like a good plan, OP. So many kids play violin, and the expectations and competition with that instrument are incredibly high. If he doesn't love it and isn't all state, his time is better invested elsewhere in terms of building meaningful ECs towards college admissions as well as in terms of sanity and happiness for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Thank you so much everyone for these helpful replies (and DCUM consensus!). We are going to let him stop lessons. We’ll encourage him to consider group playing opportunities at school but not force it. He does have other interests, most of them recent, that he really cares about so that’s good. The instrument is the violin for those wondering.

Great plan! He will find his interests.

What I’ve learned from these boards is that many lie about ECs, no one checks that they are true and most do not matter anyway.

[Anonymous]

Rising 9th is a good time to leave behind a fading interest and commit to a different or new interest that they can sustain throughout high school. It is not only the activity..it is showing an sustained commitment and evolution in an interest over several years that is valued, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Letting your kid quit music is a huge mistake in my humble opinion and I will tell you why. I was raised by "Tiger" parents and my childhood had three things: 1- academics; 2- soccer and 3- guitar and piano. It was like that from the age of six until I left for college and I hated my parents for it or so I thought. My father was very hard on me and I had to practice music two hours M-F and a whole lot more on weekends. I didn't enjoy it at all but I had to do it to please my parents. When I got to college, I understood why my parents pushed me that way. Because of my music capabilities, I was able to make friends with so many people and had so many dates with women that wouldn't even look at me if I couldn't play the guitar. I am doing the same thing to my kids that my father did to me when I was young. They can decide to quit after they turn 18 but until then, it is non-negotiable with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Thank you so much everyone for these helpful replies (and DCUM consensus!). We are going to let him stop lessons. We’ll encourage him to consider group playing opportunities at school but not force it. He does have other interests, most of them recent, that he really cares about so that’s good. The instrument is the violin for those wondering.

Great plan! He will find his interests.

What I’ve learned from these boards is that many lie about ECs, no one checks that they are true and most do not matter anyway.

Agree with great plan but not the rest. I'm counting on most kids having integrity. It does matter, and they do check sometimes, but that's not the point. ECs tell AOs something about your kid, and integrity matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rising 9th is a good time to leave behind a fading interest and commit to a different or new interest that they can sustain throughout high school. It is not only the activity..it is showing an sustained commitment and evolution in an interest over several years that is valued, IMO.

Yes. The Common app only asks about activities/awards during high school, so anything he starts in 9th and carries through will read as a good long term commitment on the app.