How much to push high schooler to keep activity just for college?

[Anonymous]

My rising 9th grader has played an instrument since they were very young. Weekly private lessons but no involvement in an orchestra or larger group. Decent player but nothing remarkable. They wanted to play at first, but now dislike it and have lost interest. In general we support them following their passions, but we have pushed them to keep up the instrument through high school in part because it may look good for college. I’m embarrassed even writing this because it sounds silly and isn’t how we’ve parented otherwise but somehow it’s hard to let them drop it. Is pressing to keep on going ridiculous, or a good idea?

[Anonymous]

Drop it. Unless they're playing at a regional or state-wide level, it's not going to move the needle for colleges. Let them use the time to do something they actually enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. When they drop it they may find time for something else. I dropped a sport and picked up photography. I did a lot with it and I think that had more impact than being a second string varsity player.

[Anonymous]

That’s silly.

If he was rising senior, I would say keep it up till college applications are in.

But rising ninth? No. He’s had some music education. That’s great. If he doesn’t want to continue, then let him stop.

[Anonymous]

Have them find new activities—anything before 9th grade doesn’t count anyway. (Sure, it’s possible to report they’ve been doing an activity for more years, but high school is what matters. And doing an activity that they hate all through high school seems counterproductive.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising 9th grader has played an instrument since they were very young. Weekly private lessons but no involvement in an orchestra or larger group. Decent player but nothing remarkable. They wanted to play at first, but now dislike it and have lost interest. In general we support them following their passions, but we have pushed them to keep up the instrument through high school in part because it may look good for college. I’m embarrassed even writing this because it sounds silly and isn’t how we’ve parented otherwise but somehow it’s hard to let them drop it. Is pressing to keep on going ridiculous, or a good idea?

Colleges don't care that they just played an instrument, unless there are awards or accolades at a high level. You can just list the instrument as an activity in their common app when the time comes and they have no way of verifying it.

[Anonymous]

This is easy. Tell him he can and should drop it but he needs to do something else. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Drop it. It will only look good if he cares about it/excels/can use it as inspiration for an essay.

[Anonymous]

Just taking private lessons and not participating in even a school orchestra is not going to help application at all. Have him find something else he enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Drop it. College won’t care.

[Anonymous]

I knew two guys that were preternaturally talented musicians but had no interest in their God given talent. I've always thought it a shame but ultimately its their life.

[Anonymous]

My musician kid has a love-hate relationship with her instrument. I am trying to persuade her not to drop it before college, because she's quite advanced, has won national competitions, etc, and has a definite musical talent that deserves to be highlighted in her applications.

Perhaps you should persuade your child to try a youth orchestra. It's the only thing that keeps my kid going sometimes, because she likes the camaraderie and togetherness.

If your child really wants to stop, then I would tell them they can only do so when they find a credible replacement.

[Anonymous]

My kid like his instrument okay, but wasn't crazy about it. He continued with it in 9th grade, and had an inspiring teacher. And within orchestra, there is a great group of friends that can be found. My child now loves his instrument and is highly motivated to improve to a point where he is now performs at the state level. He also found a great orchestra peer group that is outside of academics.

That said, I would only encourage him to maintain the instrument for one more year if he doesn't hate it. He has to finish off his fine arts credit anyway, so he can always join orchestra/band if he is neutral about the instrument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising 9th grader has played an instrument since they were very young. Weekly private lessons but no involvement in an orchestra or larger group. Decent player but nothing remarkable. They wanted to play at first, but now dislike it and have lost interest. In general we support them following their passions, but we have pushed them to keep up the instrument through high school in part because it may look good for college. I’m embarrassed even writing this because it sounds silly and isn’t how we’ve parented otherwise but somehow it’s hard to let them drop it. Is pressing to keep on going ridiculous, or a good idea?

"playing an instrument" doesn't mean ANYTHING for college applications. Playing in an orchestra or band would mean about the same as being on a team, but not a recruited athlete. In the alternative, being an award winning musician could help a little, like any other achievement a high schooler may earn.

In other words, no I would not push this kid to keep playing for the sake of it. Let them find their passions and don't force them.

[Anonymous]

OP should push your DC to keep playing music especially if it is the guitar.  Your kid will thank you when he/she goes to college.  Music is a great way to make friends in college.  Keep pushing until the kid finishes high school.