SAHM divorcing a narcissist

[Anonymous]

This is the big danger w quitting work for women.
$200k is nothing and yes you need to find a job and should have done ages ago. My dh earns $200k and never in a million years did we think that was enough for me to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

A matrimonial / family lawyer will have nothing to do with any criminal activity bc family court and criminal court are two different court systems. It is not ethical for them to leverage one against the other; it’s like blackmail. You would have to do it yourself, by hiring a second criminal lawyer to pursue that part, if you are thinking prosecution would lead him to give you more in the divorce that is a very tricky thing to pull off and a lawyer can’t explicitly do that.

Get him to take 50% custody. Find a job and a place to live. Don’t waste money fighting for things you won’t get (like more than 50% custody). Child support on that salary will be paltry and you will likely receive 3 years of alimony (rule of thumb is 1 year for every 3 years of marriage), the most a lawyer will do is convince a judge to accept the years from before you were married and maybe get you another year or two of alimony.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

If you stopped working for the majority of your marriage and have only been married for 10 years, then you need to tap your 401k to help pay for living and legal expenses. You worked until your early 40s.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I am 55. Was I’m working trying to save money, get ahead and get out of this awful marriage and spouse literally attacked that job which I lost. They want to disempower me for some reason. They are also a lot older than I am. Too old to really adequately care for the very young teens. They Have some medical issues as well. They have more money because they have a supportive family who are quite wealthy

[Anonymous]

Op again. I meant I was working until spouse did everything in their power to destroy my career and every other aspect of my life they are psychopath not trying to cry victim I’m pretty independent and strong. I would love a credit card with 0% to hire an attorney but spouse ruined my credit as they promised. Being married to and trying to get away from a narcissist is no joke

[Anonymous]

https://mgaleg.maryland.gov/cmte_testimony/2022/jpr/7999_02082022_10946-126.pdf



Powerful testimony from parents who are victims of inadequate court systems etc…. Money talks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 55. Was I’m working trying to save money, get ahead and get out of this awful marriage and spouse literally attacked that job which I lost. They want to disempower me for some reason. They are also a lot older than I am. Too old to really adequately care for the very young teens. They Have some medical issues as well. They have more money because they have a supportive family who are quite wealthy

So based on your posts you worked past 45 and didn’t get married until you were 45. You have pre-martial funds then given how old you were at marriage. Use those to get an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Are the kids his?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 55. Was I’m working trying to save money, get ahead and get out of this awful marriage and spouse literally attacked that job which I lost. They want to disempower me for some reason. They are also a lot older than I am. Too old to really adequately care for the very young teens. They Have some medical issues as well. They have more money because they have a supportive family who are quite wealthy

Okay. So what are you doing about it? Your posts are all blaming him and how you can’t do anything. If he is as terrible as you say, you need to divorce for your own health/safety, so start creating a new life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids his?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my friend. She had to rely heavily on her parents. They supported her financially during the divorce. Her ex was AWFUL. She eventually went back to school, started a second career, met a great boyfriend. There is hope! But please see if there is anyone who can help you through this patch. Sharing custody was difficult for her, but she had no choice on that end and eventually got used to it

I also had a friend that went through this. She had to get on food stamps and any other assistance that she could fine. She started an oline business that now supports her and her children through college. Keep the faith!

[Anonymous]

How did he ruin your career?

[Anonymous]

He is a fed. And he is corrupt you say. Why not make an anonymous hotline complaint to his office of inspector general. If he’s involved in any kind of fraud they will find it and take him down. The court won’t save him. Trust me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a fed. And he is corrupt you say. Why not make an anonymous hotline complaint to his office of inspector general. If he’s involved in any kind of fraud they will find it and take him down. The court won’t save him. Trust me!

Op here. Did that. Inspector general looking into it. Hope our government works as it should. Not holding my breath. The state of our society is pretty nauseating in general

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is a fed. And he is corrupt you say. Why not make an anonymous hotline complaint to his office of inspector general. If he’s involved in any kind of fraud they will find it and take him down. The court won’t save him. Trust me!

Op here. Did that. Inspector general looking into it. Hope our government works as it should. Not holding my breath. The state of our society is pretty nauseating in general

You need to focus on yourself and not him. You say he’s a narcissist, but you seem very enmeshed and overly focused on him.

Get a job. Get an apartment. Get a lawyer and move on with your life. The end!