SAHM divorcing a narcissist

[Anonymous]

Op, how old are you? How many children and what ages? Do you have a degree, or any work skills? Is your family able to help you in any way? Do you have a car? Where are you living now?

[Anonymous]

Op here. 55. 4 kids 2 college age 2 young teens. Graduate degree, spouse went after my career l, left dmv for safety. Still close enough to area. No family support. Grew up poor. Car gone. Spouse stopped paying. Was working. Trying to leave. Spouse threatened to destroy me. Psychopath. Hanging on. It is. It easy. Courts are definitely biased and full of corrupt attorneys and judges. Those with more money can easily win. I know of a nurse it was a stay at home mom and lost her three kids to her pedophile ex-husband who molested their four-year-old she begged. Congress to make changes. Money is power. You could be scum of the earth and get what you want if you have enough money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. 55. 4 kids 2 college age 2 young teens. Graduate degree, spouse went after my career l, left dmv for safety. Still close enough to area. No family support. Grew up poor. Car gone. Spouse stopped paying. Was working. Trying to leave. Spouse threatened to destroy me. Psychopath. Hanging on. It is. It easy. Courts are definitely biased and full of corrupt attorneys and judges. Those with more money can easily win. I know of a nurse it was a stay at home mom and lost her three kids to her pedophile ex-husband who molested their four-year-old she begged. Congress to make changes. Money is power. You could be scum of the earth and get what you want if you have enough money

Something's not adding up here. You've been married "just over 10 years" and have 2 college aged kids and 2 young teens? 🤔

[Anonymous]

Op here yup. Got married after kids. Big mistake

[Anonymous]

Ugh you are so playing the victim.

I say this as a DV survivor. I got a credit card with 0% interest and a lawyer. It isn't that hard. Also, get a job. That's not that hard either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. 55. 4 kids 2 college age 2 young teens. Graduate degree, spouse went after my career l, left dmv for safety. Still close enough to area. No family support. Grew up poor. Car gone. Spouse stopped paying. Was working. Trying to leave. Spouse threatened to destroy me. Psychopath. Hanging on. It is. It easy. Courts are definitely biased and full of corrupt attorneys and judges. Those with more money can easily win. I know of a nurse it was a stay at home mom and lost her three kids to her pedophile ex-husband who molested their four-year-old she begged. Congress to make changes. Money is power. You could be scum of the earth and get what you want if you have enough money

Something's not adding up here. You've been married "just over 10 years" and have 2 college aged kids and 2 young teens? 🤔

+1. This is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Are you ready to work for 60-70 hours a week, OP? Because that's the life you are going into now. Prepare never to see your kids, except at bedtime. Your kids are liability in dating, not an asset.

Good luck out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here yup. Got married after kids. Big mistake

You really calculated wrong here. With late teens, you have what, less than 5 years of child support left? What was your plan to support yourself after leaving your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Been here. Also divorced a fed attorney. He made threats and I did it the wrong way. I will chime in later when I have more time.

[Anonymous]

Op, what do you mean by your spouse went after your career? What line of work were you in?

[Anonymous]

On the bright side, you are rid of him.

[Anonymous]

Ignore his stupid threats. Threats are usually empty. That's part of the power and control. You'll probably get 5 years of spousal and child support. You won't lose health insurance until the divorce is final which could be a while. Did you gather evidence of his shady activity? Fight tooth and nail to get the most you can, but it's going to cost you more in lawyer bills if you aren't efficient. Lawyers are as bad as narcissistic spouses at taking all your money.

[Anonymous]

200k salary is not a lot of money and influence to ‘throw around’ op. What is your grad degree in? You can probably get a job teaching in almost any school right now which would be a start. I’m sure he’s a jerk but you sound a bit paranoid. Just focus on getting yourself stable and maybe some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore his stupid threats. Threats are usually empty. That's part of the power and control. You'll probably get 5 years of spousal and child support. You won't lose health insurance until the divorce is final which could be a while. Did you gather evidence of his shady activity? Fight tooth and nail to get the most you can, but it's going to cost you more in lawyer bills if you aren't efficient. Lawyers are as bad as narcissistic spouses at taking all your money.

Spouses can be dropped during open enrollment. As a Fed, it will be effective 1/1/24.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about his criminal activity. He’s going to get 50% custody if he wants it. Nobody cares about his white collar fraud in terms of how often he gets to see his kids. You probably won’t be getting alimony. Why did you not get half of bank accounts/half of retirement from when you you got married, etc? Get a lawyer but stop telling them about his fraudulent activity. What are they going to do about it? I’m sure it’s making you sound a little crazy so they don’t want to get involved.

In other words, get a lawyer, get a job, have him take care of the kids half the time.