All my take home pay would go to the nanny….

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school, my after-school job was working as a parents' helper: I was there when the kids got out of school, made dinner, did a little cleaning, made sure the siblings treated each other reasonably.

I would not have been useful as a household manager, but working 2.5 hours a day was exactly what I was looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both work FT. DH makes enough money to pay for all our expenses and save about $100k each year for retirement.

This increase in income for DH is recent, so we only have about $1.5M in retirement right now (we are both mid40s).

We have three young elementary aged kids, and I’m feeling worn out by working full time and doing all the kid and house stuff (DH work long hours). We are thinking about hiring a nanny to help with the kids, and the cost for one will be all of my take-home pay - about $6K per month. Or I could quit my job and be a SAHP.

But I am saving for retirement in my 401k, and my job also provides our benefits, so even with the nanny we would be getting some financial benefit from my continuing to work.

I’m having a hard time weighing the financial aspect of quitting to SAH vs. hiring a nanny - is there anything else I’m not thinking about?

If money wasn’t an issue at all, I would probably quit and SAH. I want more time with my kids. But I will still be in my 50s when the youngest finished high school to I wonder what I’ll do then.

Nannies do not cost $72k/year in the DC area nor in most areas, it is around 45k/year w/ multiple kids.

You need to adjust your search and you can also save more by doing the following
1) Opt for a live, we have one that is about 38k/year fully legal for 2 kids but we have an entire level she lives in with it's own kitchen, bathroom and living room. You will need to add only another 4k for nanny taxes (yes they tax you).
2) Aupair is about $25k/year with no limit on number of kids, but you'ld need to be prepared for someone new every 1-2 years, but most regular nannies are transient like that anyways.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound like it is about the money for OP, but the mental load and lifestyle. Honestly, if OP could find PT work that would pay for her half of the retirement contribution that would be ideal. That way there would still be time in the day to run errands, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?

Agree. I'd get a house cleaner. Once school starts back up look into after school care at the school. Both way cheaper than a nanny.

This, you don't want a nanny. You want a housekeeper. So get weekly house cleaning, splurge on grocery delivery and take out a few times a week, and maybe even a laundry service, and you will still be below $6k a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of your kids are in school and you need a nanny? Are you sure you just do not need after care? Maybe a house cleaner? How are you wanting to spend more time with your kids but also want a nanny? Lady, work and outsource what you can so you can focus on your kids in the afternoon. That could include a meal prep program, laundry service, house keeper, etc.

+1

Also see if you can keep your job, benefits and work maybe 30-32 hr weeks---as long as you can actually cut back in work load, that could work and add a part time house keeper as well.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of things to consider, but I wouldn't let your fear about "what to do when I'm in my mid-50's" be one of them. I worried about that as well but it was fairly easy to go back to work recently, and it has been for a lot of my friends too. I kept a foot in the door by doing some consulting projects and always volunteering for new tech projects (like maintaining/updating websites for a few hours a week). Before quitting, I went down the path of hiring lots of help for 3 kids including a housekeeper, daycare & au pair but one great full-time nanny would have been better.

[Anonymous]

After taxes we were looking at a good day care or nanny for all my income and it made more sense for me to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if it is “all your take-home pay”, it’s worth including the value of your non take-home pay as you think about this - especially if your take-home pay is “low” because you’re the lower earner in a high-income household.

Your job allows you to save for retirement at (I’m guessing) $20k per year plus an employer match of X.

It covers your family health care costs (what would those be if shifted to your spouse?).

It gives you the mental stimulation of work (would you be happier staying home?)

Take-home pay is only one variable for you! Make sure you look at all the variables.

Plus if you do not wish to stay home forever, it can be difficult to break back into the workforce 5-10 years later.

I chose to be SAHM 25+ years ago and am happy with it. Don't regret it at all. We don't need my income. But if I would not be happy at the 10-15 year mark with what I could have gotten for a job had I needed to return. So plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in high school, my after-school job was working as a parents' helper: I was there when the kids got out of school, made dinner, did a little cleaning, made sure the siblings treated each other reasonably.

I would not have been useful as a household manager, but working 2.5 hours a day was exactly what I was looking for.

Good luck finding a HS kid who will consistently do that in your neighborhood. It's hard to do nowadays---kids don't consistently work like we did when growing up. And you need consistent---cannot have them deciding they need to hang out with friends that day and not show up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?

+1. I have a newborn, a 21 month old, and a four year old…DH and I both work and we have a nanny, but by early elementary years I’m projecting we’ll probably still need help in the afternoon with driving for activities and that summer and school breaks will be tough, but I would not expect to need a FT nanny. Would you pay the nanny for a full day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?

+1. I have a newborn, a 21 month old, and a four year old…DH and I both work and we have a nanny, but by early elementary years I’m projecting we’ll probably still need help in the afternoon with driving for activities and that summer and school breaks will be tough, but I would not expect to need a FT nanny. Would you pay the nanny for a full day?

If you have the space you should consider an au pair. You can get morning and afternoon and potentially weekend help without paying for a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Good luck finding a “nanny” to take care of that long list of household tasks….it sounds like what you actually want is a wife. Most nannies are limited in the jobs they will perform. Cleaning is beneath them—they will wash a child’s cup and leave the parent’s cup in the sink.

[Anonymous]

Agree with other pps that you need a housekeeper who drives with decent English ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.

You are overthinking. If you want to quit, do so. If you want a nanny, go that route, but most nannies do not cook and clean, except for the kids.

I would rather stay in the work force. So with elementary school I go the easiest route:

1. Hire a weekly cleaning company. $125-$150 a week. Go with a company that has the staff and has vetted their employees. Merry Maids, The Cleaning Authority, etc.

2. Use the after school care at your elementary school. They are already set up for days off. Our elementary school uses Bar-T. They are like $600 or so a month.

3. Use a meal order service

Three kids - $1500
Cleaning Service weekly - $600
Hello Fresh/Every Plate meal delivery - $480 (you have to cook, but at least you don't have to think or shop)

$2600 monthly to ease your plate. Still manageable and you keep your career. You do not have to hire, interview, provided benefits, etc.

.

Yep. This is what most middle class people do, like us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both work FT. DH makes enough money to pay for all our expenses and save about $100k each year for retirement.

This increase in income for DH is recent, so we only have about $1.5M in retirement right now (we are both mid40s).

We have three young elementary aged kids, and I’m feeling worn out by working full time and doing all the kid and house stuff (DH work long hours). We are thinking about hiring a nanny to help with the kids, and the cost for one will be all of my take-home pay - about $6K per month. Or I could quit my job and be a SAHP.

But I am saving for retirement in my 401k, and my job also provides our benefits, so even with the nanny we would be getting some financial benefit from my continuing to work.

I’m having a hard time weighing the financial aspect of quitting to SAH vs. hiring a nanny - is there anything else I’m not thinking about?

If money wasn’t an issue at all, I would probably quit and SAH. I want more time with my kids. But I will still be in my 50s when the youngest finished high school to I wonder what I’ll do then.

Nannies do not cost $72k/year in the DC area nor in most areas, it is around 45k/year w/ multiple kids.

You need to adjust your search and you can also save more by doing the following
1) Opt for a live, we have one that is about 38k/year fully legal for 2 kids but we have an entire level she lives in with it's own kitchen, bathroom and living room. You will need to add only another 4k for nanny taxes (yes they tax you).
2) Aupair is about $25k/year with no limit on number of kids, but you'ld need to be prepared for someone new every 1-2 years, but most regular nannies are transient like that anyways.

We live 45 minutes outside nyc and pay our nanny $70K a year to watch our three kids and the oldest is pre-K until 2:30 everyday and our middle child is in preschool 3x a week for three hours at a time. It is definitely the going rate for a good nanny.