All my take home pay would go to the nanny….

[Anonymous]

DH and I both work FT. DH makes enough money to pay for all our expenses and save about $100k each year for retirement.

This increase in income for DH is recent, so we only have about $1.5M in retirement right now (we are both mid40s).

We have three young elementary aged kids, and I’m feeling worn out by working full time and doing all the kid and house stuff (DH work long hours). We are thinking about hiring a nanny to help with the kids, and the cost for one will be all of my take-home pay - about $6K per month. Or I could quit my job and be a SAHP.

But I am saving for retirement in my 401k, and my job also provides our benefits, so even with the nanny we would be getting some financial benefit from my continuing to work.

I’m having a hard time weighing the financial aspect of quitting to SAH vs. hiring a nanny - is there anything else I’m not thinking about?

If money wasn’t an issue at all, I would probably quit and SAH. I want more time with my kids. But I will still be in my 50s when the youngest finished high school to I wonder what I’ll do then.

[Anonymous]

Think of it as a placeholder. You won't airways have the many but if you leave the workforce its so hard to get back.

[Anonymous]

They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?

[Anonymous]

I'd commit to trying the nanny for at least 6 months. You might find that having a partner in the kid/house stuff is the real solution to being worn out, vs. quitting your job and having all that fall to you in perpetuity.

But if I'm wrong, and the job is the drudgery part that's wearing you down, you'll know in 6 months and can quit with another 6 months' worth of retirement banked. Then you will open a spousal IRA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?

Agree. I'd get a house cleaner. Once school starts back up look into after school care at the school. Both way cheaper than a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I'd give the nanny a try for a year. I suspect it will really improve your quality of life, one result being that you can have more of the time with your kids that you're looking for.

Then, you can probably have a clearer understanding of just how much you want to be a SAHP and re-evaluate from there.

[Anonymous]

A nanny costs 72k a year?

[Anonymous]

What about taking a pay cut and getting an easier job? Something where you can balance home/work better while your DH makes more money? And still have benefits and sock away some retirement?

It doesn't have to be either/or. I have an easy job and get pay meh, but it works great for our household.

[Anonymous]

Do you have space for an au pair? You don’t really need full time childcare, so don’t buy it.

[Anonymous]

I would hire the nanny and test it out. But, since your kids are in school I’d expand her responsibilities to include many of the household chores that burden you. If you really like your job along with the benefits it makes sense to keep it going.

[Anonymous]

You don't really sound like you need a nanny. I would target it in more focused ways to solve your specific problems.

If you want to be a SAHP, I think you would be unhappy with giving up so much of your time with your children to a nanny--you'd still be left with a lot of the drudgery and not as much of the things you like plus working full time to pay for it.

If household chores are an issue, get a professional organizer to help set up processes and then a housecleaner. If cooking is an issue, find a local restaurant/meal service that does healthy family meals and use that 2 nights a week. Basically give yourself the budget you would spend on a nanny and give it to yourself to make your life better.

[Anonymous]

It’s been really hard for me to break back in. I should have just hired more help and stayed in the treadmill. Just my $0.02

[Anonymous]

I'd get an au pair. She can do kid laundry and lots of driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd get an au pair. She can do kid laundry and lots of driving.

If you do this vet very, very carefully and make sure they can get a license. I've known too many instances where the au pair was like having another kid with all their issues in the mix. Live in early 20-somethings are not always a stress-reliever--especially as they are experiencing culture shock and may have cultural expectations that don't align with yours.

[Anonymous]

All of your kids are in school and you need a nanny? Are you sure you just do not need after care? Maybe a house cleaner? How are you wanting to spend more time with your kids but also want a nanny? Lady, work and outsource what you can so you can focus on your kids in the afternoon. That could include a meal prep program, laundry service, house keeper, etc.