What age do boys make friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

No one is saying it’s not typical - but there can be several behaviors that are typical / expected / age appropriate. Just because it’s not what your kids did doesn’t make it atypical in the sense that it’s abnormal developmentally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

No one is saying it’s not typical - but there can be several behaviors that are typical / expected / age appropriate. Just because it’s not what your kids did doesn’t make it atypical in the sense that it’s abnormal developmentally

To make it easy for you to understand - people might say “people typically prefer icecream, cake, or brownies for desert” and you are acting like people that prefer brownies or cake for dessert are totally atypical because your kids all happen to prefer icecream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

At 3??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age do boys start making friends? My son is a rising 1st grader with very little interest in his peers. He does Boy Scouts and some sports but doesn’t naturally interact with kids his own age. He is super social and talkative to adults and kids who are older. He spends most of the time at our pool with teenagers. I ask him if he wants to have playdates with any friends his age but he says no. I’m inclined to go with his roll, just curious when other boys start forming friendships.

Early in elementary school years. It will happen. And it’s usually first, second or third grade when they really develop their own friends. (I think some people who are responding to you are confusing “play dates “ in which parents arrange with other parents with kids building friendships. It’s not the same thing and I don’t think it’s an answer to your question. I’ve never heard of a three-year-old asking for a play date with a particular child because they are friends and making their own friends that makes me a bit skeptical regarding some of the comments you’re getting.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 7. He started having interest in other kids around 4.

Five or six or even four on occasion never younger than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do boys start making friends? My son is a rising 1st grader with very little interest in his peers. He does Boy Scouts and some sports but doesn’t naturally interact with kids his own age. He is super social and talkative to adults and kids who are older. He spends most of the time at our pool with teenagers. I ask him if he wants to have playdates with any friends his age but he says no. I’m inclined to go with his roll, just curious when other boys start forming friendships.

That’s quite unusual. You probably have a very gifted child. I would suggest get him tested and seek professional suggestion, or otherwise the asynchronous development (very typical for pg kids) will bite back later

I just want to add, profound giftedness doesn’t always show up in academic work, or not even group administrated tests like cogat. That’s why I suggest get him tested. Or like other people said, he might be on the spectrum too. So a comprehensive evaluation might benefit him, or at least gives you peace of mind if it doesn’t find out anything unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do boys start making friends? My son is a rising 1st grader with very little interest in his peers. He does Boy Scouts and some sports but doesn’t naturally interact with kids his own age. He is super social and talkative to adults and kids who are older. He spends most of the time at our pool with teenagers. I ask him if he wants to have playdates with any friends his age but he says no. I’m inclined to go with his roll, just curious when other boys start forming friendships.

Early in elementary school years. It will happen. And it’s usually first, second or third grade when they really develop their own friends. (I think some people who are responding to you are confusing “play dates “ in which parents arrange with other parents with kids building friendships. It’s not the same thing and I don’t think it’s an answer to your question. I’ve never heard of a three-year-old asking for a play date with a particular child because they are friends and making their own friends that makes me a bit skeptical regarding some of the comments you’re getting.)

DP My son did start asking at age 3 and definitely had kids that he identified as friends he wanted to come over and have a playdate. He's seen his older sister have playdates and wanted the same for himself. At that age my DD also had specific kids that she considered friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

Not all kids are in center-based care at such a young age so not all of them form close enough friendships that young. Many have nannies and SAHPs, some only sporadically attend classes with same-age peers. If a 3/4 yo is cared for by a nanny and sees a particular kid at the park or toddler ballet classes several times a month, it might not pop into the kid's head to ask the nanny to arrange a playdate with that kid, and the nanny might not be that social herself. What is "typical" in your very small bubble isn't typical in the world at large where there are many types of care situations besides preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

Not all kids are in center-based care at such a young age so not all of them form close enough friendships that young. Many have nannies and SAHPs, some only sporadically attend classes with same-age peers. If a 3/4 yo is cared for by a nanny and sees a particular kid at the park or toddler ballet classes several times a month, it might not pop into the kid's head to ask the nanny to arrange a playdate with that kid, and the nanny might not be that social herself. What is "typical" in your very small bubble isn't typical in the world at large where there are many types of care situations besides preschool.

NP - your point is made, but back to the OP, her child is in an environment with plenty of other peers so yes, it would be more typical that now he is interested in seeing people outside of school. A lot depends on the kid and birth order (my youngest asked for his friends to come over in preschool because he was familiar with playdates). But generally, by 2nd grade I would expect a child to have some interest in socializing outside of school with someone - sm classmate, neighbor.c etc.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys 5 and 8 who attended part-time preschool. Neither of them ever made friendships without my influence at that age. Their friends were my friends' kids, period, and if asked who they liked to play with in their class they'd say "Everyone is my friend" right on cue.
The oldest made his first independent friend and asked for him to come over at the end of first grade. Youngest really prefers playing with his older brother right now.

[Anonymous]

My kids rarely ask for play dates. They’re happy to have them, but also pretty happy playing on their own.🤷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

No one is saying it’s not typical - but there can be several behaviors that are typical / expected / age appropriate. Just because it’s not what your kids did doesn’t make it atypical in the sense that it’s abnormal developmentally

To make it easy for you to understand - people might say “people typically prefer icecream, cake, or brownies for desert” and you are acting like people that prefer brownies or cake for dessert are totally atypical because your kids all happen to prefer icecream

Yes, but in this case it's a kid going into first grade who hasn't asked for a playdate. I think this really is atypical.

Or was. Covid seems to have really messed up socialization -- especially for younger kids -- and this may be an aspect of that.

Does he even know this is a possibility? Do you make a regular practice of inviting kids over? Has he ever been on a playdate to someone else's house?

[Anonymous]

My son still remembers his buddy JC from pre school. He’s 13 and hasn’t seen JC since he was 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical

... but isn't it typical? All my kids except for the one with severe social anxiety were asking for playdates in pre-school.

Not all kids are in center-based care at such a young age so not all of them form close enough friendships that young. Many have nannies and SAHPs, some only sporadically attend classes with same-age peers. If a 3/4 yo is cared for by a nanny and sees a particular kid at the park or toddler ballet classes several times a month, it might not pop into the kid's head to ask the nanny to arrange a playdate with that kid, and the nanny might not be that social herself. What is "typical" in your very small bubble isn't typical in the world at large where there are many types of care situations besides preschool.

Interesting. My boys both went to part time pre-school 4 days a week from 9-12 and they absolutely made friends and asked for play dates. I was a SAHM until they went into elementary.

[Anonymous]

My son is also a rising first grader and I had similar observations. He played with the neighbor boy who is 2 years older than him 1-2x/week, did scouts and occasional sports, but no one really "stuck." Somewhere along the last quarter of kinder he identified a few boys that he liked and wanted to spend time with outside of school. A few things that I wonder if are relevant to your situation:

1) We moved to a small town just before kinder started. He didn't have time to make daycare/preschool friends, and this town has some major clique-y behavior. There were lots of kids in his K class that had deep family friendships that influence playdates/invitations/etc.

2) He is young, with a mid-June birthday. I think he may have just been slower to develop that social milestone because, well, he is younger. I also believe it did not help that at least half the boys in his class were redshirted, further highlighting the discrepancy in maturity.

3) Something that surprised me is that 2 of the 4 or so names he came to mention regularly were kids who were not in his class. They met on the playground or on the bus. My point here is just he may connect with kids he doesn't have immediate/easy access to and the group will change a bit in first.