What age do boys make friends?

[Anonymous]

At what age do boys start making friends? My son is a rising 1st grader with very little interest in his peers. He does Boy Scouts and some sports but doesn’t naturally interact with kids his own age. He is super social and talkative to adults and kids who are older. He spends most of the time at our pool with teenagers. I ask him if he wants to have playdates with any friends his age but he says no. I’m inclined to go with his roll, just curious when other boys start forming friendships.

[Anonymous]

I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

+1

Close specific consistent friends by age 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age do boys start making friends? My son is a rising 1st grader with very little interest in his peers. He does Boy Scouts and some sports but doesn’t naturally interact with kids his own age. He is super social and talkative to adults and kids who are older. He spends most of the time at our pool with teenagers. I ask him if he wants to have playdates with any friends his age but he says no. I’m inclined to go with his roll, just curious when other boys start forming friendships.

There's nothing wrong with your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

He's only starting it now?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

OP, I would say probably 2nd grade is when I saw the shift from playing with everyone to specific friends, though both my neurotypical kids identified best buds earlier. I would just watch and see how things go, only because it was the social aspect that led us to an ADHD (inattentive) diagnosis for my oldest son. He struggled to relate to his peers and tended to seek out adults and older kids for conversation because they tend to be kinder/compensate for his social deficits. I will say, now he has friends, but not the same level of intensity as his younger brothers. We have worked on social skills and talked about expected behaviors so he has the skills available when he decides to utilize them. So, I would say your kid is in the realm of normal, but the fact that you are asking might suggest you just keep an eye on him and see how he does. Good luck! It’s really hard at younger stages to determine what is average/typical development and when you need to intervene, but generally I’ve found my gut instincts to be true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Why wasn't he texting and coordinating with the other kids himself? Mine was doing that at 18 months. You should probably get an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

OP, I would say probably 2nd grade is when I saw the shift from playing with everyone to specific friends, though both my neurotypical kids identified best buds earlier. I would just watch and see how things go, only because it was the social aspect that led us to an ADHD (inattentive) diagnosis for my oldest son. He struggled to relate to his peers and tended to seek out adults and older kids for conversation because they tend to be kinder/compensate for his social deficits. I will say, now he has friends, but not the same level of intensity as his younger brothers. We have worked on social skills and talked about expected behaviors so he has the skills available when he decides to utilize them. So, I would say your kid is in the realm of normal, but the fact that you are asking might suggest you just keep an eye on him and see how he does. Good luck! It’s really hard at younger stages to determine what is average/typical development and when you need to intervene, but generally I’ve found my gut instincts to be true

Thanks for your response. He did have a speech delay that made him hard to understand until this year so I wonder if part of his gravitating towards older people is what you describe above. We will continue to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

YeF probably

[Anonymous]

This sounds very much like my son - he will do playdates and all but most loves being with older kids (cousins, friends older kids etc). For the first time ever he made a very close peer friend at camp last week, it was so fun to see

My son does have minor pragmatic communication issues (this is all the non verbal part of communication). My understanding is so many kids this age group do bc so much of their early socialization was during covid (can’t see facial expressions, have to stay distanced so harder to tell body language, playing close together was discouraged so didn’t learn how to enter play / navigate what to do etc). I was shocked bc he’s soooo outgoing, charming, and delightful to talk to from an adult / big kid perspective. What the speech therapist explained to me is that peers are actually a really skill set. Adults and older kids are very indulgent in our conversation (we talk about whatever they want, we show enthusiasm, we don’t expect it to be reciprocal, we stay on their topic and ask appropriate questions). Peer are super tough - they don’t indulge what you want to talk about if they don’t want to talk about it, they can say things that are confusing or hurtful (proposing elaborate games that don’t make sense or just saying a hard “no, I don’t want to do that” to an elaborate game you propose), entering play, proposing play, negotiating what’s fair when play changes can all be super complicated and full of unspoken rules

My 6yo made huge progress this year with once a week coaching from a speech therapist during recess. His teachers said they saw no issue and didnt quite understand why I pushed for it, but from my perspective he is social and has so much to share (wanting friends and connection, loving people generally) and I wanted to make sure he could do that well with peers versus defaulting to adults and big kids which isn’t a good long term strategy

Just a thought of something to consider

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

Oh honey, no one is impressed by your fetus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys, both similar to OP’s (although very different from each other). I’d continue to encourage team sports and scouts or similar activities and he’ll be fine. My one DS now has several long term friendships and plays an individual sport. Other son is still a bit of a loner but played multiple team sports. They’re all so different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just your son. Mine is three years old and often coming home asking for a playdate with this kid or that one.

Mine is a fetus and started a book club.

I don’t know why people are making fun. We started teaching him to ask names of kids he liked playing with at preschool and set up playdates at the park with those kids. Now he asks.

Because you said “it’s just your son” like yours is the only typical and everyone else is atypical