are you asking your college student to sign a FERPA waiver?

[Anonymous]

My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

I'm not sure this is the flex you think it is. When you have a relationship with people you typically ask them how their classes are/how their job is going. Those are just basic social/conversational skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

As I stated above -- emergencies DID hit in different states and I was never left in the dark. What do you think happens? The University or hospital starts making decisions about your kid? That is the last thing they do or want to do. We even got a call from the local police department after the accident to follow up to make sure we had been contacted by the university or hospital. My favorite was the police officer who called to say another DS was in the ER to get his stomach pumped but they recommend NOT having it done since its can teach kids to not repeat the behavior. Then when I talked to the doc I asked if it was medically necessary to have his stomach pumped and he said no. Believe me, no one wanted to deal with my DS in the ER. They couldn't reach out fast enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

Are you this judgmental in real life? You should thank the Lord every day that you don’t have a SN kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

I'm not sure this is the flex you think it is. When you have a relationship with people you typically ask them how their classes are/how their job is going. Those are just basic social/conversational skills.

Not when you have more inportant things to talk about than “basic” things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

As I stated above -- emergencies DID hit in different states and I was never left in the dark. What do you think happens? The University or hospital starts making decisions about your kid? That is the last thing they do or want to do. We even got a call from the local police department after the accident to follow up to make sure we had been contacted by the university or hospital. My favorite was the police officer who called to say another DS was in the ER to get his stomach pumped but they recommend NOT having it done since its can teach kids to not repeat the behavior. Then when I talked to the doc I asked if it was medically necessary to have his stomach pumped and he said no. Believe me, no one wanted to deal with my DS in the ER. They couldn't reach out fast enough.

Look, what you describe is great...but you seem to attribute nefarious purposes to the parents that signed the Health waiver form (whatever it is called). We received a sternly worded paragraph from the school that indicated that it would be difficult for parents to make health decisions on the part of their kid in an emergency unless we signed it...so we did and our kid could care less. I didn't really read the document particularly closely, so maybe I can now access their health records if I wanted...but that was not remotely the intent.

It's like when you agree to the Apple iStore terms of service and then someone yells at you for what you just granted Apple access. We all just agree to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

As I stated above -- emergencies DID hit in different states and I was never left in the dark. What do you think happens? The University or hospital starts making decisions about your kid? That is the last thing they do or want to do. We even got a call from the local police department after the accident to follow up to make sure we had been contacted by the university or hospital. My favorite was the police officer who called to say another DS was in the ER to get his stomach pumped but they recommend NOT having it done since its can teach kids to not repeat the behavior. Then when I talked to the doc I asked if it was medically necessary to have his stomach pumped and he said no. Believe me, no one wanted to deal with my DS in the ER. They couldn't reach out fast enough.

Look, what you describe is great...but you seem to attribute nefarious purposes to the parents that signed the Health waiver form (whatever it is called). We received a sternly worded paragraph from the school that indicated that it would be difficult for parents to make health decisions on the part of their kid in an emergency unless we signed it...so we did and our kid could care less. I didn't really read the document particularly closely, so maybe I can now access their health records if I wanted...but that was not remotely the intent.

It's like when you agree to the Apple iStore terms of service and then someone yells at you for what you just granted Apple access. We all just agree to it.

For every story of the police were great and the hospital were great is a story where the rules brigade at hospital says sorry, we can’t release that to you- including to which hospital child taken. Get the medical form signed. Medical directives for incapacitate people is not a failure to launch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FERPA is ridiculously unbalanced with respect to student privacy. There needs to be some major reform here.

Especially if parents are funding the tuition. If parents aren't, then the kid has all the right to have their privacy protected. But if parents are investors in their child's higher education, then they deserve investor-level access information about their performance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

That is insane that four of your children went through college and you never asked or saw a single grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

That is insane that four of your children went through college and you never asked or saw a single grade.

My kids got excellent grades in high school without being hounded. There was no reason to hound them in college.

[Anonymous]

No. However, this is a very individual decision and depends on the kids and past patterns. So no judgement from me.

FERPA: Background our DD had been a good student without us needing to push her, who had been enjoying learning and gaining new knowledge.
We told her this was part of her taking the next step to be become truly a grown up and that we are going to pay as promised and it was up to her to make the most of it. We trust her, but in the end, it was her responsibility to make sure she is not wasting her chance, since we are not able to pay for her graduate school.

What we did her do though was have her sign the HIPAA release and medical power of attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

So nice you have "perfect kids" without any neurodivergent issues. Life definately is much easier if you don't have to navigate that. For those of us that do navigate that as parents, we know our kids require a bit more intervention at key times to ensure they stay on track---notice I said intervention, that does not mean doing stuff for them, it simply means ensuring they get the help they need and guidance to be the best person they can be.

Yes, plenty of kids have ADHD/EF/Anxiety. Those often all go together---don't know many ADHD kids without at least one or both of the others. Consider yourself lucky that none of your kids had this.

My ADHD kid struggled freshman year of college due to wanting to be premed. Went thru HS with a 3.5UW/26ACT/No APs. By March they had given it their all and determined it was not the path for them, and had found a new major. If I had not been an involved parent and there for them to bounce ideas off of and to provide encouragement they would have spiraled downward into a deep dark hole, possibly really tanked their GPA (more than they already did) and have their self esteem bottom out. They would not have dropped the science courses they were failing---they would have tanked their gpa and killed their self esteem.
Instead, I provided guidance while they did all the actual work themselves. My kid Graduated college in 4 years with a 3.4+ gpa (took 3 summer courses during Covid to make up for the classes they had to drop/W) and after they found their correct major did not require much guidance after sophomore year. They started their first job 2 weeks after graduation at a great company, company that pursued them, and are excelling at that job2 years later, living life on their own still 2K miles from home.

Had I just dropped them at college and left them to sink or swim, they likely would have sunk and had mental health issues. Instead I provided appropriate guidance (for my neurodivergent kid) so they could find their path and graduate from a T100 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

As I stated above -- emergencies DID hit in different states and I was never left in the dark. What do you think happens? The University or hospital starts making decisions about your kid? That is the last thing they do or want to do. We even got a call from the local police department after the accident to follow up to make sure we had been contacted by the university or hospital. My favorite was the police officer who called to say another DS was in the ER to get his stomach pumped but they recommend NOT having it done since its can teach kids to not repeat the behavior. Then when I talked to the doc I asked if it was medically necessary to have his stomach pumped and he said no. Believe me, no one wanted to deal with my DS in the ER. They couldn't reach out fast enough.

Look, what you describe is great...but you seem to attribute nefarious purposes to the parents that signed the Health waiver form (whatever it is called). We received a sternly worded paragraph from the school that indicated that it would be difficult for parents to make health decisions on the part of their kid in an emergency unless we signed it...so we did and our kid could care less. I didn't really read the document particularly closely, so maybe I can now access their health records if I wanted...but that was not remotely the intent.

It's like when you agree to the Apple iStore terms of service and then someone yells at you for what you just granted Apple access. We all just agree to it.

The fact the PP did not have any issues when their kid had emergencies does not guarantee it will always be that way. The smart thing to do is sign the Health wavier and to go even further and get a legal POA for your now 18+ kid. I'd rather spend the time/effort to do that and never need it than to be in a situation with my kid where I'm legally fighting to make medical decisions. It can happen, has happened to some people, so just because the PP had no issues does not mean you shouldn't follow the correct legal path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God does every kid on the friggin’ planet have ADHD, executive function issues, anxiety issues, etc.? Do you all intend to go to work with them every day after they graduate too?

We put four kids through college. I could not even guess what any of the GPAs were. I never asked about their grades or their classes any more than they asked me how my job was going.

Cut the apron strings already!

So nice you have "perfect kids" without any neurodivergent issues. Life definately is much easier if you don't have to navigate that. For those of us that do navigate that as parents, we know our kids require a bit more intervention at key times to ensure they stay on track---notice I said intervention, that does not mean doing stuff for them, it simply means ensuring they get the help they need and guidance to be the best person they can be.

Yes, plenty of kids have ADHD/EF/Anxiety. Those often all go together---don't know many ADHD kids without at least one or both of the others. Consider yourself lucky that none of your kids had this.

My ADHD kid struggled freshman year of college due to wanting to be premed. Went thru HS with a 3.5UW/26ACT/No APs. By March they had given it their all and determined it was not the path for them, and had found a new major. If I had not been an involved parent and there for them to bounce ideas off of and to provide encouragement they would have spiraled downward into a deep dark hole, possibly really tanked their GPA (more than they already did) and have their self esteem bottom out. They would not have dropped the science courses they were failing---they would have tanked their gpa and killed their self esteem.
Instead, I provided guidance while they did all the actual work themselves. My kid Graduated college in 4 years with a 3.4+ gpa (took 3 summer courses during Covid to make up for the classes they had to drop/W) and after they found their correct major did not require much guidance after sophomore year. They started their first job 2 weeks after graduation at a great company, company that pursued them, and are excelling at that job2 years later, living life on their own still 2K miles from home.

Had I just dropped them at college and left them to sink or swim, they likely would have sunk and had mental health issues. Instead I provided appropriate guidance (for my neurodivergent kid) so they could find their path and graduate from a T100 school.

+1. Both of my kids were SN. We had both sign FERPA waivers and the other important paperwork (I am a lawyer). Our DD would have "sunk", Our DS did just fine but that was due to extra time alloted by DS services at their university. I cannot advise more strongly than to say the universities are not your friend in this matter. They do NOT want to talk to parents. If you don't believe me, talk to your lawyer, if you have one, or find one that knows education issues. You will be surprised how much the schools are not in the parents' camp.

[Anonymous]

Hospitals will call next of kin in any case. And keep you apprised of condition, esp is kid is totally unresponsive