are you asking your college student to sign a FERPA waiver?

[Anonymous]

My kid waived and added me to all the 3rd party options. His school won't send a bill to parents without it. I'm grateful we now get emails and don't plan to use it to check his grades.

But in case he's in an accident or other medical emergency, we did the Mama Bear legal forms. One for the state he goes to school in and one for VA. It would take us a day to get to him and if he's in the hospital these forms will allow doctors to talk to us.

IMO having safety nets and access to information is like anything else - on a spectrum - and just because a parent isn't totally hands off does not mean they're micromanaging adult children.

[Anonymous]

If I am paying, then I insist on both an Advance Medical Directive [i.e., giving parental access to DC’s medical records/info and making them the decision-maker if unmarried DC becomes incapacitated for any reason] and I also insist on a FERPA waiver. One might not need either, if one is lucky, but if things go south then having both would best position me to protect and help DC.

PP is correct that schools love to hide behind FERPA, even when FERPA really might not be applicable. A signed and notarized waiver shuts that tactic down quickly if the school tries to use it to hide.

[Anonymous]

The way it works at my ds school is the students give 'proxy' access to whomever they want to. I have proxy access to financial to pay the bills and to end of semester grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I am paying, then I insist on both an Advance Medical Directive [i.e., giving parental access to DC’s medical records/info and making them the decision-maker if unmarried DC becomes incapacitated for any reason] and I also insist on a FERPA waiver. One might not need either, if one is lucky, but if things go south then having both would best position me to protect and help DC.

PP is correct that schools love to hide behind FERPA, even when FERPA really might not be applicable. A signed and notarized waiver shuts that tactic down quickly if the school tries to use it to hide.

I hate the "if I'm paying" cry. The point is your 18-22 yr old college kid, regardless of who 'pays' may be incapacitated in college and you want to be the one making the medical decisions, not the state of Alabama, or wherever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way it works at my ds school is the students give 'proxy' access to whomever they want to. I have proxy access to financial to pay the bills and to end of semester grades.

How's that work out in the hospital emergency room?

[Anonymous]

I think it's very strange to insist on this so that you can see your child's grades. You've had 18 or so years to cultivate an open, trusting, honest relationship with your child, one in which they want to share both triumphs and failures with you. If you haven't done that, there's your problem. Having your kid sign a piece of paper so you can surveil their grades won't change the ultimate problem, which is that you failed at being a good parent.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

Exactly. In a genuine emergency, they will do what they need to do and then attempt to contact next of kin. (every state assumes consent for patients incapable of responding) As the parent of an unmarried person, you're the next of kin.

If your adult kid is in the hospital with a broken bone, they can choose to call you, choose to allow the hospital to call you, or choose to deal with it themselves.
I vividly remember being sick in the university health center in college, and my mom calling (my roommates had called her) They came in and asked me if it was OK for them to talk to them, I said yes, and they did. We had a similar situation with my kid when he was at the doctors - he called me from his cell phone and verbally gave permission for the doctor to talk to me (in that case, just the three of us via speaker phone)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way it works at my ds school is the students give 'proxy' access to whomever they want to. I have proxy access to financial to pay the bills and to end of semester grades.

How's that work out in the hospital emergency room?

That is HIPAA, not FERPA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is almost worse than the tracking app post. Can parents please cut the cord? Especially about accessing their kids medical records? You’re just asking your kids to sneak around, not use the on campus medical, etc. Where is the trust??

My child is not quite there but I can say after having helicopter boomer parents, getting to college where they didn’t have easy access to my grades was a huge relief.

The medical waiver is not so I can track my kids medical records. it is so if they end up hospitalized and unable to provide authorization at that time I can communicate with the hospital. Never had to use it but is nice to have. Got Medical POA for both kids once they turned 18. Will keep it until they have a SO they want to make that instead.

As far as grades, my kids simply provide them at midterms and end of semester. First kid has ADHD/Anxiety/ExFunc issues so while I didn't "helicopter", I stayed involved enough to be supportive and help ensure they got on the right track in college (freshman year was challenging, kid stuggled in major and readily communicated with me so I could help calm them down and figure out a plan that THEY executed fully.

[Anonymous]

My child has psychosis so you’d better believe I got him to sign the medical documentation so I can access his records and make decisions. Ditto for FERPA. He signed all of them within days of turning 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I am paying, then I insist on both an Advance Medical Directive [i.e., giving parental access to DC’s medical records/info and making them the decision-maker if unmarried DC becomes incapacitated for any reason] and I also insist on a FERPA waiver. One might not need either, if one is lucky, but if things go south then having both would best position me to protect and help DC.

PP is correct that schools love to hide behind FERPA, even when FERPA really might not be applicable. A signed and notarized waiver shuts that tactic down quickly if the school tries to use it to hide.

I hate the "if I'm paying" cry. The point is your 18-22 yr old college kid, regardless of who 'pays' may be incapacitated in college and you want to be the one making the medical decisions, not the state of Alabama, or wherever.

+1

This 1000%
It continues really until your kid has a Significant other that they are committed to giving that "decision making" role to. It would be stupid to not have legal means in place to advocate for a family member should they be incapacitated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 at 3 different OOS schools and haven't needed it. I have one log in (used to get sports tickets when they are too busy or asleep during the time window) and I guess I could see there but never even look. None have lost scholarships or been on academic probation so I assume they are doing just fine.

I have spoken about this before but we have had 2 ER visits and 1 serious accident requiring emergency surgery. In each cases the ER called us immediately. They just do next of kin and we spoke to the doctors. With the more serious accident it was clear I needed to get cross country ASAP. The doctors and nurses were great about sending me texts to keep me updated and answering the phone when I called. My child was unconscious when brought in. They contacted the school via his ID who gave them our number. They contacted us immediately. He had to go to surgery quickly after being brought in so I was coordinating that from airports, airplanes and cars.

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are missing the point on medical records. If something serious happens to your kid and they did not sign the waiver then the school/hospital can’t tell you lots of needed facts nor can you act as their agent for medical decisions.

FERPA does not give you access to medical records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But without legal authorization, the hospital and university did NOT have to provide your number or contact you. That is why everyone should have it in place. All is just fine until emergencies hit and you might be left in the dark

Wrong. There is a lot of misinformation on this thread.

Please see the difference between FERPA, HIPAA and Healthcare POA