Disagreement with spouse on DC Pride

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I love soccer, but won't go to a professional game.

I laugh it off as "not liking the crowds, takes too long to get home, etc." but its more than that to be honest. It can be really anxiety inducing.

If your spouse is supportive of your daughter in other ways, I think this is a chance for you to model understanding and compassion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Queer mom who doesn't like crowds-and the ones at my local pride tend to be drunken. I think the pp had a good point that there are plenty of small and low key events through the month. I think you should reset your expectations-standing around in the blazing sun with a bunch of wasted dudes is not the only way to show love and acceptance of your child.

+100. That's part of it. Just not how I want to spend my free time

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it is unreasonable for you to dictate how your spouse shows his support for your daughter. Attending pride events is not a requisite for supporting someone who is LGBTQ+.

I have many LGBTQ family members and friends, I am hugely supportive of them and love them just as they are. I never go to Pride because I do not like large events. I also don't go to street festivals for anything else.

My response might be different if your DD was bothered by his reluctance to go or if you indicated he was otherwise not supportive of her coming out.

Thank you - it's good to hear this side. I just hope my daughter doesn't see it as an indication that we are split on supporting her.

Dp. From your OP sounds like she doesn’t mind… unless you’re telling here there is some split, why would she think that? Your spouse doesn’t have to enjoy parades to be supportive of your daughter. If she says something, just tell her that.

I think I may be reading into it too much. My spouses parents were not supportive of her coming out and I guess I might be a bit over sensitive about that whole thing. That's why I post here, I know I will be told the real deal since we're all anonymous.

Your spouses parents weren’t supportive of your daughter coming out? Or of your spouse coming out? Either way, presumably you have both expressed in your own ways that you’re supportive of your daughter and one parade doesn’t change that.

Spouses parents not supportive of my daughter. They have cut all ties with her since she came out. Terrible grandparents - I know.

Grandparents set their boundaries. Their choice.

Of course it is their choice, but characterizing it as just a matter of boundaries is . . . wow. This isn't someone telling a nosy relative to mind their own business, it's rejecting their granddaughter because of who she is.

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit amused that you've been taking your daughter to Pride as a favorite tradition since she was a toddler, and now she's "come out" - although details are a bit unclear exactly what she is coming out as, lesbian? Or just fashionably queer/questioning?

Now I sort of understand the whole concept of grooming and enabling.

-- amused gay man who's long realized Pride is more for virtue signaling heterosexuals and weird high school girls pretending to have alternative sexual/gender identities to be cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is unreasonable for you to dictate how your spouse shows his support for your daughter. Attending pride events is not a requisite for supporting someone who is LGBTQ+.

I have many LGBTQ family members and friends, I am hugely supportive of them and love them just as they are. I never go to Pride because I do not like large events. I also don't go to street festivals for anything else.

My response might be different if your DD was bothered by his reluctance to go or if you indicated he was otherwise not supportive of her coming out.

Thank you - it's good to hear this side. I just hope my daughter doesn't see it as an indication that we are split on supporting her.

If she does, I hope you will set her straight about it. But I doubt it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit amused that you've been taking your daughter to Pride as a favorite tradition since she was a toddler, and now she's "come out" - although details are a bit unclear exactly what she is coming out as, lesbian? Or just fashionably queer/questioning?

Now I sort of understand the whole concept of grooming and enabling.

-- amused gay man who's long realized Pride is more for virtue signaling heterosexuals and weird high school girls pretending to have alternative sexual/gender identities to be cool.

I know I'm a bit late to the game but I thought you might be interested in a different perspective. My DH and are straight, been married for 20+ years. We've volunteered at the Capital Pride Parade and Festival for a number of years - we like volunteering for events (Pride, Folklife Festival, Women's Marches, etc.) becuase they tend to be a lot of fun, we like community and we support those platforms.

After taking our young teens with us to volunteer for Pride, I was struck by just how accepting/welcoming the Pride community is. Everyone has always been so very nice, even when things aren't working out well - I've worked a LOT of events and never experienced, year after year, a crowd that was so overwhelmingly open, friendly and patient. People seem so genuinely happy to be together and celebrating. They never asked what part of the community we might identify with, they were glad to see us, glad we were together and wanting to celebrate. It's been an incredible message of acceptance and love for my kids, particularly the ones that question their place, question whether they are accepted and lack confidence - and, as far as I know, my kids identify as straight! I can only imagine the message it sends to kids who aren't quite sure where they fall on the spectrum.

Our participation at Pride isn't virtue signaling. As I said, no one asks how we identify. I am glad, though, that my kids and I can be part of a community that, at least for a weekend, is so embracing - and I think that's what Pride really is about. It's about being who you are, without shame. Being together reinforces that it's really okay. And, we have fun while doing it!

[Anonymous]

I hate parades in general. And crowds. And anything loud or hot. Pride isn’t my scene.

[Anonymous]

Pride is a leftwing political movement that not all gay people are on board with. Give your husband a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit amused that you've been taking your daughter to Pride as a favorite tradition since she was a toddler, and now she's "come out" - although details are a bit unclear exactly what she is coming out as, lesbian? Or just fashionably queer/questioning?

Now I sort of understand the whole concept of grooming and enabling.

-- amused gay man who's long realized Pride is more for virtue signaling heterosexuals and weird high school girls pretending to have alternative sexual/gender identities to be cool.

This makes no sense--do you want everyone to grow up in the closet? Do you not understand sexuality is a spectrum? Or do you just love snarking on women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pride is a leftwing political movement that not all gay people are on board with. Give your husband a break.

I think those people are a small minority. I'm in the slightly bigger minority that feels that Pride has become heavily corporate and too straight.

[Anonymous]

So you took your daughter to Pride events since she was 4 even though no one in your family is LGBTQ? Did you actually push or want her to become gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you took your daughter to Pride events since she was 4 even though no one in your family is LGBTQ? Did you actually push or want her to become gay?

Do you want your kid to become everything they see?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you took your daughter to Pride events since she was 4 even though no one in your family is LGBTQ? Did you actually push or want her to become gay?

Like St. Patrick's Day, you don't have to identify as a member to participate. All are welcomed and embraced. At Pride events, we're all LGBTG+ and are welcome to celebrate all things LGBTQ+!

[Anonymous]

This entire "Pride" thing is a bunch of crap. It is nothing about being gay, but instead is primarily a flagrant flaunting of hyper sexuality. It honestly hurts the gay community more than it helps. These times have pushed 14 year old girls and boys to "come out" as gay, at a time when they are just beginning to discover themselves. It has pushed it to be "cool" among young kids and is seriously messing with their minds. Your daughters a victim of getting her mind messed up with this stupid fad. And believe it or not, most level minded people (gay and straight) believe this as well. They want a 14 year old girl to be a 14 year old girl. This is truly sad.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and I have been going to pride together for the last 10 years or so. It's one of our favorite traditions. This year is a big year as my daughter came out to us - so I feel both my spouse and I should attend to support her (she's 14). My spouse does not like big events and rarely goes, but I feel like this one year they can suck it up and be there to support our daughter.

I don't really have a question I guess, I'm just venting because I'm annoyed. My daughter doesn't seem to care, she's just excited for her first Pride being out. I can't figure out why it bothers me so much.

[Anonymous]

I have a few gay relatives. I personally don’t understand pride events. Not like straight guys home a parade