Before getting married, make sure to go on a trip to a third world country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today in clueless rich people wow

Wow indeed. This is crazy pants. Especially to assume most couples have enough money to even contemplate travel to another country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today in clueless rich people wow

Wow indeed. This is crazy pants. Especially to assume most couples have enough money to even contemplate travel to another country.

International travel is often cheaper than domestic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today in clueless rich people wow

Maybe a cheaper version of this is to take a backpacking trip somewhere really rural and remote, like Montana? I get what the author is saying with the advice

Even a trip like that is out of the range for most working class people.

Guess marriage is just for middle class and wealthy people.

Sir, this is DCUM

[Anonymous]

I am from India and my American DH and I got married there, so I guess I can check this off my list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get how this works. It's not like we experienced the difficulty of poverty in Peru ourselves. We saw it, experienced it as tourists, etc but I have no idea how that would have tested us.

I posted something similar above. Only someone who's never traveled would think "third world" travel is some incredibly trying experience for a well-off tourist. Like "wow I can't believe we got through that together, Babe." Frankly getting through JFK is often the crummiest part of the trip. In America I'm waiting for the bus as part of my commute. Traveling internationally there's a chauffeur waiting at the airport who has a placard with my name on it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

It's also one of the most condescending things I've ever heard. "Vacation in a third world country and use it to test out your relationship for when you return to your easy, comfortable first world life...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you spell out what the theory is OP?

Not OP, but basically before you get married you should do something with your SO that tests both of you. Something difficult.

How about calling in together to cancel your cable?

[Anonymous]

Air travel is bad, but spending money in a poor country is good.

[Anonymous]

Why? So your fiancée can snatch a mail order bride?

[Anonymous]

I can see the idea. Low budget travel in developing countries is fun but hard. I watched my not yet husband poop in a cup to be tested for intestinal worms..

But I don’t think it’s a good test for marriage. It’s all relatively low stakes. Figuring out finances together or how to approach parenting is so much harder because the stakes are so much higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you spell out what the theory is OP?

Not OP, but basically before you get married you should do something with your SO that tests both of you. Something difficult.

How about calling in together to cancel your cable?

Now this would be a real test of relationship endurance. That or insurance claims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? So your fiancée can snatch a mail order bride?

It's not mail-order if go to pick up. That's lay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Incorrect. Doing some travel before you get married is great, especially some challenging travel that tests your ability to get alone under challenging circumstances. But that could be a weekend camping trip, it doesn't have to be a trip to a country experiencing high poverty rates. And actually, people who can afford to travel to a lot of developing countries (where, yes, it can be inexpensive once you are there, but the flights can often be prohibitively expensive and also require a lot of vacation time) often can make even challenging travel easier simply by throwing money at problems, and that won't always be much of a test of the relationship.

You know what people need to do before they get married? Get bored. Do tedious, annoying things with your future spouse. One of you should study for a grueling and annoying professional exam. Do yard work. Sit down and sort out your finances. Do taxes together.

Right now, I know a couple who is really going through it, the challenges of parenting small children, pandemic and aftermath, some career difficulties, and some health difficulties. I hope they pull through. They were a super adventurous couple when they were dating -- sky diving, bungee jumping, trips to Patagonia and South Africa, etc. I'm sure those things make for nice memories now, but I don't think they did much to prepare them for their current challenges, which are mundane. A marriage needs to have a high capacity for the mundane, the tedious, the annoying. You won't get divorced over a stressful vacation, but you might get divorced because one or both of you is bored and restless over the longterm, or you can't resolve differences over stuff like finances our housing or parenting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get how this works. It's not like we experienced the difficulty of poverty in Peru ourselves. We saw it, experienced it as tourists, etc but I have no idea how that would have tested us.

+1
The idea that a *vacation* in a poor country is some kind of hardship is bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? So your fiancée can snatch a mail order bride?

It's not mail-order if go to pick up. That's lay away.